My** life is seemingly just a lie while this
Heart of mine is constantly going through these
Aches and pains due to the world's faults
Seeing all the progress I haven't made is just another lie
You like to think I am doing better
With you not around in my life while you're with
Her but really I need you more than ever

I say hello
My nametag dangles from my lanyard
"Hello, my name is Liz
Pronouns are kye/kyr"
it says

They see the lanyard
and they laugh.
"Those aren't pronouns!"
they say
"She is messed up."

Shut up.

A 300lb woman
looks into the mirror
she sighs
remembering her peers' words
"You should lose weight."
"You're very overweight."
"Your obeseity is your fault."

A 75lb woman
looks into the mirror
Her anorexia laughs
remembering the 300lb woman she used to be
her peers then tell her
"You need to gain weight."

Shut up. Shut up.

The boy hides his face
Not giving the teacher eye contact
The teacher calls his name
His stomach flips upside-down
She called on him on purpose
he just knows it

In front of the class
expectant, judgemental eyes glaring
Instinct tells him to run
He looks at his notecards
All he sees is chickenscratch
The teacher hangs her head in disappointment
and growls
"Just sit down if you have nothing to say."

Shut up. Shut up. Shut up.

A girl drags hersef through the day
Everything is black and white
Coming home to wild parents
Who hit her constanty
and then claim
"I love you."

Excuses, excuses.
For every welt, mark and bruise
But when she gets one on her face-
She had given one, too.
In fact, she had given many
How generous she was!
The police came and arrest the girl.
All she heard was
"Her mother is dead."

Shut up. Shut up. Shut up. Shut up.

Take a breath
the girl tells herself
She goes to her parents
They stare, wide-eyed
at her dress, eyeliner and nails
they just stare.

She tells them
her new identity
They tell her
"Chris. You aren't a girl.
You're a boy."

Shut up. Shut up. Shut up. Shut up. Shut up.

You read a poem
titled "Shut Up"
About the hardships
The unfair, the despair
of living life.

Please know
Opinions don't matter
If you are happy,
who cares what they think?
If they criticize you
Just smile
and say

Shut up.

and now I have to check my phone every time it rings
to make sure it's not another suicidal call
from the one I care about the most

I wish things were different
but some things aren't meant to be changed at all

You say you need someone who actually cares
so does that make me invisible to you?

Jesus Christ it hurts so much to be this way
it may appear that you're the only one who needs help
which is quite true
but can't you open your eyes
to the one who's always there for you
is in just as much pain

My aching heart doesn't long any more for you
it just longs to see you get better

I love the idea of that
but no longer in love with you

Neither of us can't seem to let go
and maybe that is why I still find myself
staring at my phone
for hours
contemplating whether or not if I should call you

& that's the thing
I don't
You will end up calling me anyway for your problems
while I listen
but stay away from venting my own

You were my shelter
my safe-haven
my comfort zone
my security blanket
you were my home
& **** I feel so ******* home sick.

IT'S ONLY WHEN IT'S 2AM WHEN YOU'RE LONELY THAT YOU FIND YOURSELF CALLING ME

BUT HOW IS IT THAT WHEN IT'S 2PM
I'M OCCUPIED AS CAN BE
YET YOU SLIP THROUGH MY MIND BUT YOU DON'T SEE ME CALLING YOU
ASKING FOR ADVICE ON ANOTHER SUMMER FLING