Sometimes I miss everything too much
And it breaks my heart knowing
That I can never go back
To know that your best year so far
I’m all my years of life
Is gone
And I know I have years to come
But that doesn’t matter to me
Because time only seems to make
Me long for the past even more
I’m stuck wishing for the past
Cursing the present and future
Because things can only get worse
When you’ve already declared perfection

You had a dream,
The world
Was ending
Around us.
I think that
Says a lot
About our
Situation.

I wish I could rip apart
Everything I’ve ever given you
Every word action and second
I gave you my life my time
You gave me the bird and walked away
So ******* and your preoccupations
I’m done wasting my time
Your time isn’t for me
Why should mine be for you

I’m a garden sprinkler
Make some progress
Now back where I started
It’s an endless cycle
Getting on with life
Hitting rock bottom
Someone please
Just shut me off

Curled up in front of the warmth
The dancing shadows on the empty walls
The rains beats down the outside
Tearing up the inside
But I’m here with this fire
It keeps me warm
But I’ve got too close
And now I’m burning

I want to be in control.

I want to turn the world upside down, when I think about you;
when I think about us.

I want to move the wind.
A raging whirl of emotions that I’ve kept in for far too long.

I want to dance with the fire.
For everyone to see what’s inside.
To just burn up with the anger.

I want to flow with the waves,
Let me  calm the storm I’ve created and ease the tide of fear and shame and anger and everything you make me feel.

I wish I could control the world.
That way I could give you what you deserve.

I would’ve
Self aborted
Had I known
What I was
Being born
Into

Strike the lighter-
It only burns a bit.
Get the needle-
Press it to your skin.
Tell yourself-
"Never again."
But you always give in.
Porcelain skin.
White as snow.
Wounds that easily show.
Polluted skin.
Littered in shame.
Riddled in pain.
Cover it up.
Conceal the hurt.

My body is a mirror.
And you.
      You're distracted.
Too distracted.
    By your own reflection.
        To look deeper.
To realize.
              This mirror is broken.

A puppet on your string
A life according to you
I cry for freedom
But how is that possible
I'm nothing without you