and where he lives
his favorite color cobalt
blue, the bars he'd visited,
and the few women he went

there with. I know his breathing
when he sleeps is uneven and
the secrets that he keeps. Because
he talks in his sleep. I know

the musk he wears, and
that he hasn't underwear in his
bedroom drawers, just a bunch of
mismatched socks. I know the

pounds he can bench, his favorite
food, Indian. And who he voted for
president. I know his name. But today
as he walked by he didn't stop or say hi.

fear unsaid words
moments eternally missed
repeat forever

Did you know I saw a razor blade
In the grass on my walk home today

And it made me stop mid-stride
Imagining what it would feel like
on the inside of my arm

Did you know, when I saw that story about
the pedestrian, the thought that went
through my head

That it could've been me instead
And I wouldn't much mind being dead

Did you know I would be the one
to flame out

There's no purpose in work and life
Nothing to care about

Did you know that after six months
apart and away

I still cry over our friendship,
our loss, nearly every day

please i need an out

                                         i need out please
    
                    i need out
  

                                                               ­        i need

                                                   o

                                                   u

                                                   t


i
   m

                                   S
                                      U
                       ­             f
                                   F
                                          o
                   ­               c
                                         A
                                     t
                                   I
                                       N
                                    g

This isn't really a poem,
at least I don't think it is
just me being honest and true
about me and my life... Woohoo!

I'm doing okay I think,
sometimes I can be get depressed to the point of exhaustion
still haven't been able to cry and its been slowly tearing me apart.
But then sometimes ill be really happy and content.

It's weird but I guess it's human

A lot of people are disappointed in me,
not because of what I've done but rather what I haven't done?
I get where they are coming from but as long as I'm content what's the problem?

OH WELL!

Pretty excited for my birthday... The big ol' 18
getting pretty nostalgic for my teens, even though I'm still in them
I think ill miss it a lot honestly, maybe I'm just scared but there's fulfilment in that fear

it's human

I don't want to die
I just need something to make me feel alive.

It's been a minute,
Time has been short,
And hard to come by.

But don't think I'm giving up,
On all the work you gave me,
And all the dreams we're making.