the trees were humming
your birthday song
the clouds were cuddling you
in their arms
the grass was soft
beneath your head
the flowers decorated
your nature's bed
the wind was soft
on your reaching hands
an empty space
where a mother stands
no worries, though, child
don't be afraid
i will be with you
and come to your aid
a sweet babe
in the woods of forever
keeping you safe
born with a tether
a tether to nature
to all things sweet
i'll love you always
and your darling heartbeat

I’m addicted to the feel of cold metal sliding across bare flesh
Addicted to the instant
when nothing marks smooth skin
immediately before
red rivers rapidly rise
painting a once white canvas
with a flood of emotion,
tears on my cheeks,
sobs caught in my throat,
numbness replaced by pain & sadness.
Addicted to the imperfection
of red welts and dotted scabs that follow,
fingers drawn like magnets
to the texture of healing skin,
tracing over and over and over now fading ridges
Amazed that I am strong enough
to heal myself over and over and over.
Convincing myself that I am strong enough.
I find strength in my weakness.

The hardest thing I’ve ever had to do?

It wasn’t letting you go.

That was difficult though, to swallow my pride and wear a smile to hide the fact I’m not okay.

Oh no, the hardest thing I’ve ever had to do? Was finally admit to myself the truth.

It was admitting that you were never mine to begin with.

To tell the truth
Living was a curse
I always thought
It couldn’t get worse
But then laid my eyes
On the most beautiful thing
Had know idea
What he would bring
He brought color and flowers
And fireflies and stars
And suddenly I wished
For a world that was ours
Saw him when I closed my eyes
And every time, I smiled
I grew up too fast
But I could finally be a child
I could safely fall in love
Without being afraid
Something I could touch
Without being afraid
I can breathe in sweet air
Without having to hold it in
I don’t have to feel
Like I don’t belong in my skin
When I finally realized
I had all I needed
It came to me
When I thought of what we did
All those days
We spent together
Tied me up
And I was tethered
To you

she was a vigilant child
ignoring the thoughts of fantasy
she lived without joy and dreams
she knew there was no such thing as eternity
her mother was ignorant
overcome by a dreaming abyss
it was a false ecstasy
blinded by bliss
she was careful to avoid
making stupid mistakes
hope was the enemy
false dreams were sure to devastate
to keep herself safe
she was careful not to trust
her heart had a shell
and she let the lock rust
she never let her guard down
she was immune to things like love
joy and dreams and happiness
those things she was above
her infatuation was a treasure
covered in dust
immune to sweetness
she did what she must
to block all emotion
avoid all fears
she grew up when she was young
she shed no tears

hands on my waist
listen to our favorite song
lips pressed together
smile against yours all night long
fireflies on your car
wishing on every star
that this could last forever
holding on to this
a special kind of bliss
i'll be there whenever
lie beside you in the morning
golden light on your face
all these things about you
i'd never erase
the taste of you
i never knew
that'd we get this far
there are things that i still chase
i hate the look on your face
when i show you my scars
you're so gorgeous
i could never say it enough
you know i'm weak without you
but i'll try to stay tough