I don’t want to die,
I want to cease to exist.
To never have been born
And never have lived
For my soul and body to disappear
For any memory of me to be gone
To dissolve into nothingness and
Never have been anything at all

Our land of stars and stripes, now glows,
with screens that flicker in hallowed halls.
Entranced humans shuffle, with eyes fixed below,
on small gadgets that have us enthralled.

Should the Statue of Liberty, our symbolic girl,
be holding a smartphone up to the world?
While tweets fly like eagles and hashtags swirl,
foreign disinformation trends as fast as it’s purled.

In lunch halls, real conversations take rest,
as influence is sought—in hoity-toity, binary quest.
Friends are backdrops—originality in short supply
as likes and shares make our dopamine fly.

America’s zombies, though ******* drained,
shuffle endlessly on, with Wi-Fi stimulated brains.
Once the land of the free, we’re now the land of tech
with minds wrecked by truths unchecked.

As we rock and sway—the new robot way—
will our old, analog-republic simply fade away?
.
.
Songs for this:
Airhead by Thomas Dolby
.
Oh, and a Christmas playlist because—it’s December!:
https://daweb.us/xmas/Christmas_01.mp3

My broken heart burns
Memories infiltrating
The hardest to heal

Yesterday - a funny word
Holding so much meaning,
Impact.

Sometimes yesterday lingers,
Following me home after dark.

I don’t want to feel like that again-
The heart breaking,
Gut wrenching,
Want to die.
Death,
So close yet so far away.
Almost scary,
Or…
Relief.

But here I am again.
The next day.
Waking from a horrible nightmare,
A cruel trick of the mind.

I sit in silence,
Though my thoughts scream loud
It’s not peace - it’s  exhaustion.

Will it pass?
Maybe tomorrow.

They tell me tomorrow holds promises,
But I don’t see them.
I don’t believe in miracles,
But I might believe in maybe.

I didn’t want tomorrow,
But I opened my eyes.
They call it trying-
I call it surviving.

Another sunrise I didn’t ask for,
Another breath I didn’t choose,
Same ache,
But different.

Because I’m still here

Sometimes I stop eating,
just to see if they’ll notice.
Food becomes disgusting-
A horrible punishment,
A twisting of my mind and stomach.

I don’t hate food
I know I need it
Yet I still throw it away,
Hide the meal I never ate

Would they care?
If they saw the untouched plate?

I tell myself I’ll eat tomorrow.
I told myself that yesterday.

I know this isn’t kindness,
to myself.
I know this isn’t strength
It’s just a call for help.

Some days,
I just want someone to notice.
Notice what’s happening.
Notice me.

A weighted question.
A right answer,
And a true answer.

I would say-
I’m doing great.
I have friends and family.
I have a home.
I have security.

But honestly?
I’m doing horrible.

My mind creates demons-
Ones I can’t face, even in daylight.

The simple joys of childhood are no more.
My friends are fading.
My family hurts me-
Words slicing deep into my heart.

I have a broken home.
Only half my family ever there.

I feel alone.
I feel scared.
The allure of death
Waits at every corner.

Life is desolate.
My heart, my brain, my soul-
They just can’t take it anymore.

But I will never answer honestly.
“I’m doing great”