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I think I'm allergic to eating..

       I wake up the next day to soft blue blotches on my thighs
       And angry red lines on my hip.
Rules**

Drink a large glass of water before you eat.

Take small portions and spread it around your plate.

Cut everything into tiny bits so you lift your fork as often as others.

Wear tight clothes to remind yourself.

Keep close count of calories.

Don't let one slip destroy the day.

Get your **** together for your family.

Wait until doors close.
***TRIGGER WARNING***

Lately the thoughts have been getting stronger. It's getting harder to tell myself that things are okay. Family is causing a lot of turmoil.
We are humans.
We are designed to eat.
I stopped eating.
I hate eating.
I take a pill to loose weight.
I drink water.
I don't purge.
I just don't eat.
I don't want to.
If I could id stop drinking.
I'd stop everything.
I just want to be skinny.
I don't want to look like a whale anymore.
 Dec 2014 Lianna Walters
rae
"you should eat", said they
"i can't," said i, "i just can't."
irregularly
I escape.
A new world, a new name, a forgotten past,
Kissed by the wind and her fingers on my back,
I travel to solitude.
Whispers of the storm, cloud my mind,
and swirl my thoughts, and leave me blind, until
I am still.
I capture stars in my eyes as they dance in their abyss.
I know they are bound beauties that tease my heart with twinkling eyelashes,
I stare at the abyss in regret and it cries,
I could almost fall in her gaze.
“The Last”, I decide,
The time for bottles and lamps and the creatures that live within them is past,
My future is not with stars,
My tears form,
I feel the loving embrace of the wind
She knows my heart, yet is silent.
“Thank you”, escapes the tongue..
 Dec 2014 Lianna Walters
blythe
Tame me with your gentleness,
Let me feel your sweet caress,
Heal my wounded heart,
Save it from being torn apart;
This is what I only ask of you -
To me, please be true.
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