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 Dec 2017 Lex
Liz Carlson
she held the greatest capacity for love
he had ever seen,
for her heart had been shattered
more times than she could count.

she told him to stay away,
for she feared the love of another man.
though that didn't stop
the evident spark between the two.

she finally jumped
into the arms of love,
and forever they will
dance in the dark
to the sound of slow jazz.

pulling their bodies apart,
and their hearts together once more.
 Dec 2017 Lex
Emiline
And when he does not love me anymore,
I will build him
one last altar,
and decide to burn it to the ground.

But will only get as far
as lighting the match.

Thinking about how he used matches
for something.
Sometime.
Probably.

I'll brush my teeth,
thinking of the gaps between his.
How really,
it's a great metaphor for the distance between out hearts
or something stupid like that.

But in the end,
it's not a metaphor,
or an analogy.
They're just teeth.
(That could never quite come together
kind of like us)

I will crawl into bed
imagining an alternate universe
in which we have started a life together.
One where I wake up and reach across the bed for him.
Get the kids ready for school,
which is funny
because in this universe I never wanted children,
but in that universe,
we created something out of nothing.
Something with his eyes,
and my nose.
A manifestation of the love between two people.
Proof that it happened.
That is was real.
And it was resilient enough to breathe life into a world
that only offered it death.

In that universe,
our hair turns as silver
as our wedding rings.
And each wrinkle,
is a space where our skin just wanted
to hold the other person even closer.


But here
in this harsh reality,
time only pulls us apart.
And we will likely grow gray
with other people now.

In this universe,
I learn to say goodbye
to him.


I will build him
a library of poems.

And decide to burn it to the ground.
A poem on letting go.
 Dec 2017 Lex
Q
Liar
 Dec 2017 Lex
Q
"I'm okay," I whisper, stubbornly forcing my jagged edges back together.
"I'm okay," I murmur to my favorite knife, and it believes me as much as I do.
"I'm okay," I tell my ceiling, and count the breaths I'm still taking.
"I'm okay," I insist to my reflection, and I pretend I believe it is me.
"I'm okay," I mouth to my computer, and it distracts me until I believe.
"I'm okay," I think, and I do not believe myself, so I will say it once more.



"I'm okay," I whisper, stubbornly forcing my jagged edges back together.
 Dec 2017 Lex
Q
You
 Dec 2017 Lex
Q
You
You are mine, through and through
If only because I want you.
I'm prepared to outline, no hints or clues,
Everything I want to do.

I can't have you though if I don't have it all
I won't keep you though if I can't make you fall
Won't crave you if you aren't in for the long haul
I'm not asking you to kneel, I'm demanding that you crawl.

If you are thinking why are those not thoughts I know
If you are breathing why is your breath not what my lungs blow
If your heart is beating why is that pulse not under my ribs
If you are living why is that life not the one I live?

Undo the stitches of every atom that makes up your skin
Give me your strings and pieces and I'll make you new again.
Let me create you from dust, and water; bring you into being with love
Let me craft you as I want you; all I need is your trust.


And then you will be mine, the way you already are.
And then I will give an inch, will allow us to start.
You will be mine, the way I want you to be.
I will have all of you. You will have some of me.
 Dec 2017 Lex
Q
Fingertips
 Dec 2017 Lex
Q
He spoke with his fingertips
They danced lightly on my desk
A man of few words
But I heard what he said

He spoke with his fingertips
They skittered to and fro and back
His hands spoke the words
His audible voice lacked.

He spoke with his fingertips
Tapped his way into my heart
He never had much to say
But his words were a work of art.
 Dec 2017 Lex
Q
My Last Poem
 Dec 2017 Lex
Q
So this journey has come to an end
Whether you don’t know me at all
Or think of me as your best friend
This is my goodbye, my final call.

Thank you for the adventure; thank you for your time. I have nothing left to give, no words left to rhyme. This is my last, I’ll leave with a whisper. This is all I have, what I began writing for.

Should you ever neeed a shoulder, please find me. No matter where I go in life, where you need me is where I’ll be. Hold me tightly in your thoughts and I will hold you in my heart.

Merry meet, dear rhymers, and merry part.
This is the last of my poetry. Thank you for sticking it out with me for the past four years. I've decided to focus on other goals I have since my life is essentially falling apart. Poetry was an outlet for me, but it more feels like another way to indulge my burgeoning escapism.

So, I've decided to take away the place I escape to so I can relearn how to face problems head on. I've got a lot of self-adjustments to make in the near future and this is just one of them.

Of course, if I am contacted on HP, I'll come flying back to respond because it's been home for years, but I will (most likely, hopefully, probably) no longer post here.

Again: Thank you for the fond memories,
Q.
 Dec 2017 Lex
b
I Lost The Wall
 Dec 2017 Lex
b
There are parts of me that are missing,
But there is too much dust in the air
To figure out where the pieces go.
 Dec 2017 Lex
She Writes
I either give one hundred percent
Or nothing

With me
There is no in between

I love with all my heart
I lose myself

Always putting others feelings
And happiness above my own

One of the hardest lessons
I have had to learn is

That you can give someone the world
And still not have a place in it
 Dec 2017 Lex
She Writes
I Miss You
 Dec 2017 Lex
She Writes
I miss you
And you aren’t even gone yet
From experience
I know how this will end

One day you will find someone new
Meet someone funnier; prettier
You’ll slowly slip away
All while denying anything is wrong

When you look into her eyes
You will see a future
When you look in my eyes
You see lust and desire

There is no future for us here
so why do I let myself fall in love anyway?
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