I was trying to build sand castles but you
went to the shore to invite the waves.
Colonies of sugar rest on my tongue.
Your hands were all over your ears when I tried to open my mouth.
Your tightened lips made my eyes a home for rivers.
You looked away and it all turned bitter.

The universe is taking it's own course
And I am infinitesimally too small to resist it.
The force of gravity is crashing on my shoulders,
Pulling me down, dropping me off to the same ground where you stand.
In the sky, the stars are writing our story
But you are too busy trying to unlock a different door.

You are not supposed to put boulders on a road that could last forever.
You are not supposed to abandon the steering wheel when a smooth sail is all that the wind has to offer.

Not the bitter kind, no.
Far from it actually.
Maybe it is the eye of the storm
Or the silence after the closing credits rolled up,
I will never really know.
In this vortex of mixed signals and miscalculated worst-case scenarios,
I know I am supposed to find a way out of your world
And force myself to walk on desserts
Or swim through rivers just to be safe from your shadow.
But strange as it may seem,
I have just managed to run away a little and now I stop.
The ignition on my feet is not responding, the chords were cut from my brain.
It did not consume me enough.
I could not taste the blood from my punctured lips.

Every second is stretched like country roads - empty and silent, long and endless.
Every heartbeat is strong enough to destroy walls, loud enough to drown thunderstorms.
Every question is written in indecipherable codes like long forgotten  ancient languages.
Every answer is buried in a world more complex and fearsome than Homer's imagination.

Every spoken word is an arrow shot in the darkness that I often want to take back.
Every waking moment is spent dreaming about the sound of your laughter and the  sparkle of your eyes.

Slam your head on a piece of white paper
Until blank ink spills out of your forehead.
Until the ink forms words, phrases, sentences, prose,
Something that will perfectly justify how it feels like to have swallowed
a rock, a planet, a universe.

Find a friend who tells the truth.
Tell her everything and listen to her as she rips out your soul and crush your heart into grains
While she speak of things you already know but you were too stupid not to believe.
Truth heals another truth,
Let it devour you.

Get a rich old man to like you and spend most of your time thinking of the smartest way to stay away from him.
Channel all your energy to your new found fear and disgust.
New problems patch another problem.
Distraction is the key to stop the living from haunting you.

Force yourself to get out of your bed
the moment you first lift your eyelids to check the time on your phone.
Do not nail yourself in there.
Your bed is one of the most dangerous places at this stage,
It is a VCR for mental flashbacks.
Get yourself out of the dark.

I am a gray-sky afternoon.
I am all shades of wet asphalt.
The fierce battle between the droplets
of cool water and the warmth of the ground.
I am the white noise that envelops everything.
I live in a world of blurry reflections and subdued colors.
I look for feelings and thoughts.
I am inspired by anything that surrenders to whatever I sprinkle over them.
I live on a rainy day.

Now, in the fast-forward pace of things, thoughts, feelings, life..
Every drop of the pouring rain is carrying the same burden I have been holding in for the last couple of hours.
I have this unusual desire to collide with the ground.

I have yet to have a taste of slumber, not even a blink.
I can't afford to pause and linger, or stop the time.
If I sink deep down inside myself I will burn.
My heart might punch a hole out of my chest and I fear it might leave.
This is my defeat; my price was gone.

I am still standing in the middle of a blank slate.
In time, rivers will flow down from my eyes again.
Nose red as fire, face swollen and crumpled.
Loneliness will creep in and disappointment will drown my whole being.

For now, I must stay away from the dark.
Hold it in, keep it safe until it is forgotten.

Just like how the dandelions disperse
with a sudden yet firm kiss of the wind,
I hope these unvoiced feelings of passion,
of longing,
of dreaming,
of loving
will soon be swept away by fate
so it may find its way to flourish
within the tall fences of your own world.