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LD Goodwin Jun 2016
Do not tell me not to talk so much,

while you sit there in your stoic, vague, unreadable, silence......

Playing your life-like a poker game,

looking for “tells” in everyone,

feeling lucky,

deeming us out here as damaged,

missing,

broken,

Constantly awaiting my next **** up.

That **** up that you know is going to happen.

Coldly, methodically critiquing my every move,

painting me incapable of producing a life worth living.

How clever you think you are, to not laugh at my jokes

or not carry on conversation unless you deem it worthy.

You do all of this to not give up your “tell”.

Not let anyone into your world.



Do not tell me to not flail my hands when I talk,

because you are not as excited about your life as I am.

In fact do not think you have authority to deem anything I do as right or wrong.

You do not have that luxury.

If and until you learn to love yourself

your ego will continually feed itself by debasing,  

feeling the need to change everyone around you.

How tiring it must be to sit in judgment of me,

picking apart my existence.  

What goes on in your narcissistic mind, that makes you not accept me as I am?

Why is my freedom less important than your picture of how I should be?



Although, not intentionally, from your dysfunctional life,

you have produced a seeker of the truth.

And Love was the stimulus.

The love that I never saw.

I learned to love myself.......unconditionally.

But where did that enlightenment come from?

It came from Love itself.

Tapped me on the shoulder,

wrapped its arms around me,

and led me to the light of truth.

You will turn around one day and look for me,

I will be gone.

You will have no one to share the rest of your life with.

This short, meaningful, time we have on this earth,

the one you ****** with and lost.......

There will be no one willing to play your poker game,

and you will have to die alone.



I believed you,

I looked at myself through your eyes

and I saw the misfit that you believed I was,

and I bought it.

After all, you are the one from whom I was to learn life.

But I did not get the education I deserved.

I was formed out of your mind,

from a mistake you made.

And I was made to believe that I too was a mistake.

Because you couldn't keep your **** in your pants.

I am the product of a hot August, unairconditioned night of sweaty lust.....and it was probably my Mother's manipulative doing.

She needed to keep you around, so why not another kid to suckle her *** and make you go out and make more money.

Was I planned, did you look into my Mother's eyes and lovingly say, let's make a baby?

I think not.

You ****** up.



Enter the rearing of a mistake.

****, you will never know just how incredible I am, you will never see me as I am, you will never see anyone as they truly are.

You are so brainwashed with you prejudice, playing your poker game, looking for your “tell”.........
LD Goodwin May 2016
{Act One-Darkness}
<>
There are no stars tonight,
only the cold lifeless dark.
No hearts on fire,
nor passion plays.
Only the faerie dance of fire flies,
and the myth of love.

{Act Two-Searching}
<>
Are we just bags of hormones
either fortunately or unfortunately
imbued with the chemicals of life?
Will there be a day that we will be singled out
for our levels of hormones?
Will a new prejudice arise?
Oh... she's 68.3% hormonal,
he's 97% hormoneless.....
Will there be hormone police,
checking your levels before you buy a gun,
or have a baby,
or get married?
(I should have reversed the order of those lines.)
Are we just bags of hormones?
Can we blame the lack of, or the abundance of,
the chemistry in our bodies,
infecting the knee **** reactions of our power hungry egos?
Menopausal, testosteroned, endorphined, dopamined,
all influencing the limbic system.
Soon, very soon a storm is coming.
A storm complete with tattooed bar codes
describing our perspective hormonal levels.
In the year 2025,
separated by island walls.  
Are we just bags of hormones?

{Act Three-Light}
<>
You can't love me,
you don't love yourself.
If and until you completely love yourself,
you can not completely love another.
The level of love that you have for me,
can only be the level of love for yourself.
You can't love me
........not yet.
LD Goodwin May 2016
Oh to hear our pens together
scratching out dreams
on Italian linen paper,
while espressos cool
in the noonday breeze.
Wiping creme from your wind burned lips,  my toes find your cycling socks
and our eyes meet as if to ask.....
let's stay another day in Toscan....
Rome can wait.
Italy cycling love dreams espresso
LD Goodwin Apr 2016
I watched her for a while,
the lady with a babe in her arms.
With tender care she brushed back its hair,
and sweetly smiled into its face.
Gleaming eyes gaze into her past,
when she was whole.....
when she was a Mother.
But now in her last days,
her death days,
scooting slippered,
wheelchair feet
down forgotten halls,
lovingly holding her babe in a pink blanket.
Occasional drool drips on its plastic forehead,
crystalline blue eyes look into green glass,
searching for some signs of life.
LD Goodwin Apr 2016
My dear friend was a day
older today
with the rising sun.

We all gathered 'round
to celebrate
and to find some fun.

The presents were grand
we sang him the song
that is always sung

I could see in his smile
that his battle
was finally won.

From the light of the candles
flickered the truth
I saw the years in his eyes

but not the years of age,
there was something more
eons of something wise

free of his past,
freedom at last
no verses were left unsung

I could see in his smile
that his battle
was finally won

Surrender now,
surrender to
what was falsely
taught to you

incessant myths
that once abound
are now to him
but just a sound

I can rest in the knowing,
his future is clear
now that he's found his light

just as sure as the night
follows the day,
and day follows the night

I only hope
he knows that his journey
has just begun

I hear in his laughter
the joyous song
of the enlightened one

and his pain is naught
but the sound
of a distant drum

and I see in his smile
that his battle
is finally won.
LD Goodwin Mar 2016
Distorted words from holy books,
hypnotized by the *******.
Whirl the swords 'round our heads,
while making their incursion.

A snowball out of control
a firestorm a reining
beliefs too strong to see the winds
of peace within them straining.

We wake to fear, and fear, and fear,
and soon will come the numbing
left by the sound of egos blasts,
cadences of ancient drumming.

Bullies in the school yard,
disgruntled husbands batter wives
Too many with too much and still unhappy
ruining other peoples lives

Who then among us
will take up the banner now
and love themselves, change the world
unfurl their angry brow

I will move the universe.
I will love my life.
I will throw away the gun.
I will sheath my knife.
*Peace upon Brussels*
LD Goodwin Mar 2016
I look at it with different eyes now,
and see it for what it truly is.
A dying place.

To leave ones house, ones home,
leave a life out there in the living place,
never to return.
To squeeze out a space and settle into dying.

There's the constant stench of stale ***** and constipated excrement.
The unconscious moans of the unfortunate discarded souls,
those “I don't know what else to do with him” bundles of flesh
that lay fetal on their last beds.

The aged, fully cognizant eyes,
staring at too loud plasma screens,
incapable of fulfilling their dreams.
Locked in a body
too decrepit to live,
too alive to die.

Do I say hello? Or rudely say “how are you today?”
I walk the halls and feel so out of place
for I..... can leave,
I can ride my bike with the wind on my face,
I can live free in my living place.
They glance at me as I walk by as if to say,
your day will come,
my dying space here in this dying place
will be yours someday.

I no longer hear the moans now,
they have melded with the disinfectant,
Wheel of Fortune, chicken *** pie,
squeaking wheelchairs in the hall.
I have become a member of this dying place,
I am the free one from the living place,
the one that visits his 97 year old Mother
with the broken hip.....
*Last week my 97 year old Dad placed his wife in a "nursing home".
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