in the corner she sits
calls but no one looks up

just like a lost toy - replaced
as if she were never really there

into the ground she sinks
maybe she'll return again
when everyone else has left
and someone needs to reach out
and aren't ignorant enough to ignore her

when I was two
my mother told me not to lean over the chair
that she wouldn't help me if I hurt myself
because it was my fault for not listening
to her wise words
when I fell and broke my collarbone
she kissed me and took me to hospital
and aided me until I was healed

when I was four
my mother told me not to jump down the stairs
that she wouldn't help me if I hurt myself
because it was my fault for not listening to her wise words
when I fell and hit my head off the concrete
she kissed me and gave me a white pill
to numb the pain
and aided me until I was healed

when I was ten
my mother told me not to hit the walls when I was angry
that she wouldn't help me if I hurt myself
because it was my fault for not listening to her wise words
when I fractured my wrist
she kissed me and took me to hospital
and aided me until I was healed

when I was fourteen
my mother told me not to fall for you
that she wouldn't help me if you hurt me
because it was my fault for not listening to her wise words
when you broke my heart
she kissed me and dried my tears
and did all she could to heal me

"come back" you call
but no one hears

did you make a sound?
of course you did, you heard it yourself

wash the acid from my skin, kiss the blood from my wounds

eat all of my hate, plant flowers in every cracked flaw on my body

stitch every imperfection of mine with kisses

heal me, scratch the anger out of me and leave red lines i can smile upon

i cannot spend my life waiting for people to fix me.

you are fragile
and the boy in the year above you calls you fat
and the girl in the row behind says you look like a rat
and you sit and think about it for a few minutes
minutes turn to hours, hours turn to days
and soon you've lost track of the last time you ate
and soon you've become obsessed with your weight
you forgot what colour your skin used to be
because your arms are covered in red lines
and you cry all the time

you are fragile
and the girl in the hospital bed groans
she is short and she is thin,
skin and bones
this girl is you
and there is only one thing you need to do
but again, all you can do is cry
all you hear the doctor do is sigh
you hear the boy in the year above has died
drunk with a car, an upsetting fate
and the girl in the row behinds period is late
when was the last time you ate?

you are fragile
and the man in the street smiles
he stares for a while
he soaks up any sadness
laughs at your jokes
you are happy -
madness
you remember what colour your skin was
and the last time you ate
because he has fixed you

*you are not fragile

i never knew what it felt to have a heart until i met you, and i realised it was the best thing in the world to have
i finally knew what it meant to feel invincible

but when you left
i realised a heart was the worst thing in the world to have
i finally knew what it meant to hurt and i could not convince myself
that my heart was not broken

and now i have realised that
the best way to keep your heart from being broken
is to pretend you do not have one

the sea is fierce and cannot control his anger. he is verocious, but he is beautiful
when the sea is calm and quiet and needs no one
people surround him
everyone wants to see his beauty, feel it, breathe it

but when the sea becomes sad - angry, maybe
and needs to be calmed because his own God has abandoned him
where is everyone?
no one comes near him, he is not beautiful anymore

people have yet to reach the depths of the sea
and pull out the mystery hidden deep within him. people do not yet know how to find the dark secrets at the bottom of his mind

                                    I am the sea.

stop pretending no one loves you
stop pretending no one cares about you
you care
if you didn't care you wouldn't wake up
you wouldn't give your lungs the oxygen they need
give yourself credit
you are the one who throws the blades out of the window
and listens to your head and your thoughts
you are the one who deals with your pain
and manages to drag you out of bed for a shower
every so often
you are the one who goes into recovery
because you want to live
no one else stays up to the late hours drying your tears
and listening to every deep breath and sob

and you long for someone to
although you already have someone


you are enough