I wanna change the way I look,
the way I feel,
the way I am.

I've started drawing all over,
my arms,
and legs,
and wrists,
because the blade is no fun.

I'm drinking more water,
clearing my skin,
fixing my appearance.

I get looks,
I get comments,
I get praise.

I do, however,
miss the old me,
that me had more fun.

The old me didn't sleep,
always ate,
never worked out,
played video games,
drew on thier arms,
legs,
face,
body.

The old me is gone,
because everyone else likes,
the new me,
oh so,
very much,
more

The girl with the empty pockets
She has the biggest smile
She always had the loudest laugh 
And if it wasn't so beautiful you'd think she was obnoxious
She did everything right 

She got good grades she was a volunteer and most of all she always and a smile on her face
That's till the sun went down and the sky was illuminated by the moons light
That's when the truth came out
Came out like the tears flowing down her face like the Nile

It doesn't seem so wrong
Cause now a days those who bear the biggest smiles were those who cried themselves to sleep
She cries over her mother 
How the only memory of her was kept in a tiny locket
She cried over her father
But he will always be there 

She was a good girl
If you knew the truth about her you'd think her life is unfair
Yet you never wanted to get to know her

Cause you could never be friends with someone so nice
Personality less you said
The taunting you gave her
She never showed you how she felt about it
She'd just smile and go white knuckled

The only people who knew the truth 
Was herself and the moon
As she laid in bed
Tears streaming down her eyes
The moon would stroke her back at tell her it's okay
And one night she would dance with the stars 
And she would truly be happy

I’m happy
(I’m depressed)

I love myself
(I hate myself)

I can’t wait to live my life
(I can’t wait to die)

I am lucky to have my friends
(why do they even like me?)

I have a family who loves me
(and I continue to disappoint them)

I am an excellent student
(I can’t focus in school)

I want to travel the world
(will I even live to do that?)

I’m fine
(I’m not fine)

I’m perfectly okay
(please help me)

If freckles were lovely, and day was night,
And measles were nice and a lie warn’t a lie,
Life would be delight,—
But things couldn’t go right
For in such a sad plight
I wouldn’t be I.

If earth was heaven and now was hence,
And past was present, and false was true,
There might be some sense
But I’d be in suspense
For on such a pretense
You wouldn’t be you.

If fear was plucky, and globes were square,
And dirt was cleanly and tears were glee
Things would seem fair,—
Yet they’d all despair,
For if here was there
We wouldn’t be we.

I am destruction.
I am the pretty flower that fought
The winter cold and lost.
Waiting on the sun that never came.
I am the destiny of all but nothing,
Foreseeing that I lost myself through
Lying naked, alone and afraid.
But in the loneliness it sparked
Despair as I discovered the concave
That occurred in my brain,
Hidden naked, alone and afraid
But finally we were combined as
Soul mates even though my soul
Was ajar only to the darkness and
In the darkness crept and I couldn’t
Fight it, it consumed me
Devoured my heart and I’m
Sorry I let it in because it is the
Destruction in which it feeds
And I was never hungry.
I lied to myself when I said
I was good, because if even
Lucifer can be portrayed as an
Angel then I must be the anarchy
That stole his mind.
For that I can never change,
I am in the depths of hell which
Structures my heart and I am the
Only demon here with no one to
Challenge but the wide-eyed look
That glares in the mirror of life.