It's always been this way.

I prepare earlier every year, but
I'm never prepared
For the flood
Or the fire
You release or
Ignite
In me.

So while I'm preparing to say "see you later" to you,
I lay with my eyes closed,
My arms laid out like a painted canvas,
And my face covered with this new blanket.

I am not unhappy.
I am excited.
Interested because, you hit me
Differently this time.

I didn't flinch.

I cannot express the feeling that I am feeling right now.
I am upset, not surprised, relieved, understanding, ******, ect...
The list goes on.

I feel everything.
It was always like that with you.
Part of me is upset for letting you back in,
But now I'm sure.
I'm done.

You got too involved too fast,
Said too much too soon,
Demanded too much from someone who has
Nothing.

I've been drained of a lot of things,
And so have you.
I looked for a feeling of freedom with you,
I should've known before opening my heart;

You're out.

I let myself go insane

Things can't always be the
way we want them too,
and I'm trying to fall
in love with this idea
that no matter what
I end up doing with my life,

it wouldn't have
really mattered anyways.

I will choose you,
No matter what's going on.
If I'm cursing the world,
Or falling in love with everyone,
You're still it.

Everything about me chooses you.
Everything I do chooses you.
I know this because even though it's obvious that my happy chooses you,
So does my sad.

Every part of me chooses you.
I know this because no matter where I am,
My eyes will always be looking for you.
My ears will always turn to your voice.

My heart is affected by everything you say to me.

I could be offered the crowd;
A flood of people choosing me.

And I will always choose you.

Don't you dare press your words on me like you are strong enough to make an indention.

Don't ever look at me like I'm a strayed line on a paper, or bleeding paint on a canvas.

Don't you dare!
Oh
My
God,
Don't you dare tell me what I should do, what I shouldn't have done, or what you think I'm thinking.

You do not mean anything to me.

You words mean nothing to me.

I have never flowed with anyone else the way we did today.

Even though I've never spoken to you before,

I felt like we were just catching up.