My lips go numb
everytime we kiss
& my body shakes
everytime we touch
I still feel you hours later

I want to memorize
your flesh, your breath, your scent
& every curve through your body

I can't stop thinking about
your past, present, future
& how I want to be there for it all
And never letting go

I need to tell you everything about
my past, present, future
& how I want us to become one
How I need you accept all of me
And never let go

I want you to keep
tracing your fingers along my flesh
inhaling my breath as I speak
memorizing my scent as I don't pay attention
& I'll welcome you everytime
With your curves against mine

I wish
your lips, skin, bones
become numb everytime I touch you
& I hope your body shakes for hours after
Just like mine

Your smile is a shiny serrated knife,
Divine, but deadly.
With the power to mesmerize my mind
And to slowly, beautifully put an end to me.

One layer at a time, you peel back my skin.
And even as the blood begins to seep out of my pores,
I will delight in the pleasure of your attention.

The pain of the lacerations caused by your kisses,
Barely an afterthought -- to plague me only after
The door shuts behind you and the memory of your spirit
Is the only thing left to violently wake me in the middle of the night,
So that torturous thoughts of you can pour out onto my pillow.

My body heaves trying to purge itself
Of the wonder it still holds for your soul and the
Desire for your skin still pulsing through every vein.

But to rid myself of the memory of you,
would leave only a breathing corpse, for your fingertips
have grazed every fiber of my being.

Daydreams rescue me from the harshness of the mundane.
I see us on a mountaintop, I feel your hand in mine.
I experience the safety of your embrace and the electricity of your kiss.
I bask in the warmth of your smile and
Let my heart fly away with hope.
I imagine our home, a small cottage overflowing with contentment.
I imagine our bedroom, a soft bed sits between its walls,
Still disheveled from last night's pleasure.
I see your figure in the shower, as I brew coffee in the early morning.
I feel the desire in the goodbye kiss that makes me late for work.
I envision the power of our love.

However, imagination is also brutal torture,
That sometimes runs rampant through my mind.
I feel my heart break in two, as I see you with someone else.
I watch you loving on her in the way I wish you only did to me.
I see her walk away from you, but the pining in your chest remains.
I am convinced that as I lay here dreaming of nothing but you,
You are consumed with thoughts of her.
I imagine your cries of pain are caused by her absence
and I know that I will never be able to fill the cracks she so
mercilessly hammered into your heart.

Hope is cruel liberation from a secure foundation in reality.
I hope.
On the inhale, desire fills my lungs with fairy dust.
On its release, longing shocks me like an intoxicating form of torture.
I hope.
The first time you called me an "*******" we shared a glance
that sent a lightning bolt down my spine.
I hope.
When you plopped down beside me, your tattoo peeked at me from beneath your sleeve.
It read like an invitation addressed only to me.
I had never seen anything more beautiful.
I hope.
When our minds danced, I realized what I had been missing.
The taste of your raspberry lips lingers on mine.
I hope.
Maybe love cannot conquer all, but you have conquered me.
I surrender to my hope.
I hope for "us."

Love is a messy business; even in the best situations:
Two people, two hearts, two souls crash together.
In mock protection they fight against each other,
Against the pleasure, against the possibility.
Claws thrash, tearing at tendons until
The blood spatter is no more
Than a pretty trail of desolation.

Death is a funny thing.
I pictured him large, intimidating,
With a barbed wire tattoo encircling a large bicep.
I expected to find him lurking in the dark,
With the face of a monster.

Instead he showed up in the daylight, unassuming,
Wearing a bow-tie and a shiny smile.
I only later noticed that under his trench coat,
He hid his secret weapon of cell mutation.

He politely knocked on your door and insisted
To come in and sit down for tea.
Sensing your apprehension, he engaged in silly negotiation
To disguise his true determination.

In the end, he gently took your hand
And slowly pulled you away from me.
He got off on the agony that manifested itself
Within my heart and on my face.
His pleasure increased with each inch he dragged you,
Only reaching ecstasy with the final yank,
When I was sure that my children would never know
Your kindness as I had.