Uncomfortable within this skin.
My joints complain
and muscles scream.

But people say, "It's normal.
It's more common than you think."

My mind in shambles.
Ideas incoherent
and thought processes
sluggish at best.

But people say, "It's normal.
It's more common than you think."

My emotions are in
total disarray.
I'm not happy
yet I'm not anything at all.

But people say, "It's normal.
It's more common than you think."

My insides twisting,
splitting.
Every grain and fibre
set on fire.

But people say, "It's normal.
It's more common than you think."

If this is normal,
I'm petrified with
the prospect of
what isn't.

My system has shut down
and I'm sorry I can't process
the conversation you are sending my way.
It seems your words
travel a one way street
getting lost among the tangled sheets
of my brain.
And I cannot dream
when my mind is always awake,
spinning and swirling all around,
peace will not be found.
my vision blurring
as I hurry
my breathing.
It feels as if time doesn't pass.
or maybe it goes too fast?
my stomach
tangled in knots
reflects the chaos of my thoughts.
"I'm alone
My eyes aren't working
I'm alone
Are my lungs giving out?
I'm alone
My stomach is trying to eat itself
I'm alone
Why won't my hands stop shaking?
I'm alone
Where's the air?
I'm alone
People hate me
I'm alone
Why isn't anyone helping?
I'm alone
I'm alone
I'm alone"
STOP.
Deep breaths,
Close your eyes,
Focus on the air coming through your nose,
all the way into your lungs and back out.
Your eyes are fine
You will be ok
Your hands will stop trembling
You will be ok
Just breathe

Hundreds of thoughts
starts a fight
and I'm the one on losing side
And I have to face it ,
cannot avoid
They do not play fair
their debate
goes nowhere
It starts somewhere
and do not end
They make loud noises
each one with own voice
gives my head an ache
too much to take
Tires me out ,
brings me to the state
that I succumb to their whims
burn down my own dreams
I can't win against me
my very own frenemy