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  Aug 2016 Kyle madill Baker
Stephan
.

A friend of mine just questioned
what inspires me to write
They know I'm writing poems
every morning, noon and night

I answered with a chuckle
saying, “I don’t have a clue
In fact right at this moment
I’m not sure what I will do

I looked outside my window
it’s the same as yesterday
Traffic lights and restaurants
and people on their way

I listened to some music
but I’ve heard that song before
And I don’t really like it
it’s a tough one to endure

I took a walk through nature
past the flowers and the trees
But allergies are killing me
all I could do was sneeze

I typed some words in sequence
to see if they would rhyme
And ended up deleting them
a total waste of time”


Then I saw their smile
I thought, now there’s a thing
I like when people smile
and the happiness they bring

There’s joy in that expression
like spring will soon arrive
It lifts another’s spirits
and makes them feel alive

Thoughts of sunny mornings
begin to float around
Maple leaves and meadowlarks
and dew drops on the ground

That very special person
who lives inside your heart
And just how much you love them
even when you are apart

I started feeling better
as my face now wore a grin
And when I looked up at the screen
I saw one once again

For now I knew the answer
and I told them oh so true
*“It seems today my inspiration
came from seeing you”
What am I to do with this idea in my head,
That causes me to search far and wide,
Where I'm willing to give all my worldly possessions,
How do I explain the actions it make,
This idea will drive me into oblivion,
That's my goal,
Floating in limbo with the same problem I have now,
Stroking the blissful ignorance to be reborn,
Life is black and white as long as you live in the grey,
By the same time we arrive at a party,
Drinking the souls of our smiles,
Mixing words in taboo subjects,
This is the education fought so hard to protect,
Tears are waterfalls the nose a stream,
Biting chocolate for the sake of joy,
A convincing lie can do the same,
For all the wrong reasons it will be done right,
Or trying has become the norm,
Because failure is so freaking awesome,
Cringing on a cold heart for warmth,
No response from the trapped cat
Napping with dreams of freedom,
Reachable only once it follows the bird,
How flawed are apples eaten by worms,
Burrowed deep within an eye,
That has such an idea that it may die.
There is black and white as long as you live in the grey... where do live?
You are my beacon as I float endlessly
                                                                         I watch it in your eyes
  disconnected from the words spoken
                                                                                   hiding behind the shadows
trapped as a thinker and a dreamer
                                                                                  collecting pain and sadness
giving the world all your worth
                                                                          splitting at the seams
staying composed and vigilante
                                                                                   in a decaying body of time
meeting serenity in each smile
                                                                            your hands take flight
freeing the lies deep within
                                                                              grasping onto faults for truths
pouring out your heart into my mind
                                                                                      a fear carried willingly
embracing concepts once lost or buried
                                                                                       discarding your merit
brandishing a sliver of love
                                                                                      and weaponizing it to ****
ending a battle fought long and hard
                                                                               our deaths were monumental
As was our rebirth
If I surround you
I will suffocate you
If I speak to you
I will deafen you
If I listen to you
I will silence you
If I fall for you
I will break you
If I breathe around you
I will **** you
Stay wary of all of me
I don't know how to say it but say it I must
I am alone and lost but not lost and not alone
I think the same as all but all don't think the same as me
My pain is deep but not as deep as it could be
I see your pain deeper then it could be
Our struggles together only comes with more confusion
Seeking wisdom where it was never found
Giving up on the slightest of Dreams because the bigger ones lost hold
We all want love but to give it is a gift
We believe it is inevitable... that we become alone
Yet here I am pleading with you to let me in your home
There are no walls there are no brakes there are no riches
What we have here is you and you alone
And I am only here because you are here
?
I had to believe I know exactly what happened tonight
But there's no part of me that will ever accept that I had become a part of it
I need a listener...
I bite my thoughts as they slip through my chattering teeth, each phase sinners and lovers cause a feathered emotion. Plans to once rule, the undying reality that it's the right that's always wrong. For the tears that creep out of the clouds during a stormy night, feed the blamed and cuss the hopeful. No ears to hear the pleaded, only a glow fabricated to calm the panic. What causes can you produce, swearing upon a joined goal. A lie, the truth. Perceptions that we discuss,  the ground moves before the steps that take it over. How many times must I lose, returning to the trap for food. Silence ensnares sections of taught lessons, a failure to comply equals the odds. A passing on the date of birth, forgotten as being important. A odd peace vacant, betrayal within the cerebral.
With some luck you might understand this.
Dig
If I were to dig a hole
I'd be hoping to escape her black eyes
My fears only grow as I find a cavern below my heart
Her blue eyes following me with each step
Swollen hands scooping away at fragmented memories
For a brief moment I lock into her green eyes
A cold stiffness holds me bare
My eyes search for the uncertainty
If I dig a hole I can stay away from her eyes
Some one find some rope
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