I just hurt everyone
I fabricate false truths like art
I weave them together like threads in a tapestry

A kind of poisonous performance art
I steal others ideas and use them as mine

Upon an alter I sacrifice friends to the abyss
And for what?
Who knows why

Long ago has my fire burned out
Its last sparks disappearing as I write

Too young am I
To cloud over with the sorrows of my past
My possible futures I’ve given up
Just to cry

Stuck like a record player
I repeat the same mistakes
I repeat the same mistaks
I repeat the same misaks

I repeat the same mstks

I repeat the same mstk


I repeat the same mtk



I repeat the same mk




I repeat the same m






until there are no more to repeat
and those that loved me
leave me

I fall in spiral
Endlessly into an infinite hole
Unable to stop

Yet it is me
I am killing myself
I can’t live like this anymore
But I know I will
No matter what anyone says
The last sparks of hope,
That used to blaze
An inferno in my eyes and soul
Mind and body,
Have died


lies

Being suicidal doesn't mean i'm going to **** myself

Being suicidal is having this unexplicable ache while you're living

It's waiting for your life to end, and wishing you didn't have to carry on

Having this ache, an incapability to feel happy living, doesn't mean that I am going to **** myself -

It just means I wouldn't mind dying.

do we actually ,
needed to feel and be hurt,
to know we are healed?

5 - 5 cups of coffee, i drowned myself.
4 - 4 times i break down, yet reasons are still unknown.
3 - 3 chapters of book i keep on reading.
2 - 2am here, another day is coming.
1 - 1 reason of living over thousands of ending,
and that's what keeps me going.