The night

Passed by before I had chance
To close my eyes

Darkness fell in to thoughts
Wondering alone

Soaked up quickly by the light
Of day

I pray, when it comes around again
My mind will have less to say

And then bang.
The feelings flood my body like an uninvited tsunami
Wiped out with giant waves of butterflies
Taken out, without warning
Adrenaline spills through me, diluting rational calm and oxygen
Uncontrolled, uninvited
But more welcome than the night coming over with piano music and wine
More welcome than the late afternoon sun seeping through canopies on forest walks
This disaster is delicious
I’m addicted to the trauma
I can’t out run it
I don’t want to beat it
I surrender to the inevitable

I fly among the Milky Way
When you play
Transcending through skies
Journeys of daylight blues and night stars
Melodic moments of mind altering components
I’m stilled and cocooned seeing mountain tops and the silver moon
The rise of the tune meets a slight thud of the key
That combination really does something to me
Transporting, place and time where imagination thrives
Where adrenaline topped peaks meets the calm of golden beach
And you reach beyond belief
To a language I could never speak
That touches my soul deep
Floods my body with cleansing seas
Thoughts wondering what those brown eyes see

She wrote love letters
To a lover never known
She dipped in ink and scribed the notes
With all the things she loved
About a lover never known

I looked up at the moon tonight
I saw shape and shadow and brightness
Something changed
Like movement
I became aware
A chill crossed my body
And I became aware for the first time today
Aware that there is a frost on the ground
Aware that the moon is speaking to me
Aware that my dog is hanging on my every movement
Trying to predict my next move so he can remain close to me
Aware that the night sky is so deep and dark
Yet if you look closely it still retains a hint of midnight blue

Reading broadens the mind
Opinions, feelings, thoughts entwined
Philosophy, concept, psychology, sociology
A fascinating anthology
Of life, beings, humans, being
Seeing
Further than the horizon
To what you can’t see
And what you don’t understand
A different land
Or a different time in a different place
We all face
Trials and Tribulations
Of the human race
Everything living is designed to survive
So why
Are we determined to end lives
Why does cruelty conflict
When so much tragedy already exists
Why are we conditioned to believe
That love and peace is so naive
Consumed by corruption and greed
When childhood lessons planted this seed
When we were young, when we were free
Before responsibility
I clearly see
I don’t fully understand economy
Inflation is easy
But when it comes to selling ammunition and guns
And murdering toddlers with the funds
Destroying entire communities
Thriving on disunities
Revealing in the privileged immunities
Gaining from murderous opportunities
I simply cannot comprehend
How we just pretend
Out of sight, out of mind
Or conveniently blind
Assigned to monotony
Resigned to the powers that be
You are a product of your environment, you see
I never gave you permission to speak for me

I can compare you to this February day
It’s mild, it’s grey
But thoughts of you brighten the way
The sky is low, hazy off white
Despite lack of sun it’s really quite bright
You can barely make out the shape of a cloud
As the canvas sits proud, not loud
Calm and there
A slight dazzling glare
Quietly unassuming but certainly all-consuming
I see your movement in the trees, your persona in the breeze
I long for stillness in my dreams
Where I often play these themes and scenes
Where what may seem extreme is simply being
Minds connecting, conversations reflecting
Memories collecting
Passions injecting

Nothing lasts forever
I can’t bear those three words
Truth is acceptance
That endings are inevitable
My dog won’t always greet me
You won’t always bring my morning tea
Comforts and consistencies have to end somewhere
Though I know this to be true
It scares me
I’m still frozen with gut-wrenched dread
At the inescapable
Though I wholeheartedly know
Nothing lasts forever

The birds are singing
Welcoming me home
Greeted with sincerity
In a smile
With truth
I missed tactility
Craved authenticity
Mutual connections  
Gentle reciprocation
Excitement wears rapidly
Grasses are not luscious all year
Lessons are not always learned
Ego seeks worth
In the wrong place
At the right time

Writing down the truth
Cold liquid floods my body
Deserved guilt and shame flows in my blood
Diluting my good
Fighting red pained tears of weakness
My left eye weeps
A pathetic, pitiful drop that returns upon each wipe
I can’t allow it to flow
But I deserve to cry
I’m frightened
Frightened it will open something that I can’t contain
I’ll wait till I’m home, alone
Where I can reflect on my selfish desires
My mindless ignorance and lustful greed
Innocence? Probably not
I write as he breathes heavy next to me, carefree
My stomach drops
There was no satisfaction found
Fleeting,
Careless,
Carelessly giving away a part of me
That should remain unfamiliar
This isn’t poetry
There’s nothing poetic about
Deceiving love

Instinct, desire, life and fire
That burns higher
Consistently fuelled fools
Where there are no rules

I stand in the street
Designed to compete
Despaired by the heat
Of life’s teaching retreat

I’m not weak, I’m often wrong
I seek far from patients song
Appetite for adventure cravingly strong
Time and age not forever long

So take me, I’m here
I’m not living in fear
Lightening I see, thunder I hear
Everything that matters comes from in here

Interpretation is unique

We are all explorers, so to speak

All students learning proceedings

Failing at mind reading

Complex beings with animalistic instincts

Our perception is our reality

On our own journey

Misinformed or underperformed

Communication is lost in all forms

Righteousness doesn’t seek praise

Recognition is desired in this instantaneous age

Self-indulgent pitiful complaints

Beats acknowledging responsibilities restraints

As self entitlement and blame culture implodes  

Society’s stuck at a dangerous crossroads

I needed to rest my kaleidoscope mind
Stop still, realign thoughts entwined
The sun is well set, the sky a lovely blue hue
Daylight has gently retired, generously awaiting night time to turn up for his shift
Street lamps distort the natural flow of time
Birds are singing a beautiful high pitched rhyme
Looking out of the window it could be dusk or dawn
Are the birds confused and singing for a new day
Or singing sweet lullabies
Enticing the silver moon out to play

Profound jazz tones on the rocks
Dragged down gravel pathways
In crystal cut glasses
Harmonised sweet pain-felt blues in orange light
Smoke undulating, seductively dancing on top of piano notes of passion
With his words he brought down two stars
They found contentment in your eyes
And while the rest of the stars and the moon light up the night sky
Your starry eyes light my desire
And there’s nothing I can do about that

Night fell, silent
She stared out of the window to darkness
He placed his hands on the roundness of her shoulders, curling his fingers to the curve
Inhaling, she rose at the slight embrace
No words spoken
So much said
In that moment

He turned her, in a contradiction of firmness and uncertainty
As she turned to face him
Moonlight reflecting from his eyes, back to hers
She would not break his gaze
Under his shirt, she traced his skin from chest to hips
Ensuring every part of her palm was pressed with flesh
In sync, feeling every breath

I guess I’d say I’m lucky, it all comes down to luck,
Historically, I’m born to a time of not giving a ****

Geographically I’m free, in a nation filled with greed
But in the greater scheme of things,
I’ve never known hunger or planted a seed

Racially I’m privileged, or so that’s what they say,
Though my gripe with my lack of exotic is a vain and ignorant betray
I’ve never endured or felt insecure by the lack of melanin that came my way

Despite the socialistic statistics, I see realistic logistic
Surviving ballistics, Linguistically twisted,
Academically average, emotionally insecure, certainly unsure
What emotions are for

Yes my parents loved me and sure they also ******* up
However, I still had to make my choices
Of getting high in a garage block, or getting up

Like a child, he made himself small
Crouched against the wall
He held on to the soles of his feet, placing his head on his knee
The relentless torment of vulnerability soaked his bare skin
Destruction tore him down from the outside in
As pain receptors cut and the light dimmed
Shattering porcelain hope in to jagged pieces
Too gentle for this time
Emotions had to die and tears dried
The drought left cracks in his mind
But the universe had other plans
For the harshest conditions and remotest terrain
From just a droplet of rain
Pretty flowers grow

Night had fallen for hours, the moon fell from the sky
She closed her eyes from darkness, and pictured you in her mind
Touching the softness of her torso, she watched you stroke her silhouette
She felt your hands like freedom, as skin on skin connect
Familiar textures at cosmic heights, light luminous spheres, held together by their own gravity
On this night of promised melodies, scattering music notes like stars,
that twinkle in time to beating hearts,
She let galaxies fill her mind, as comets spark and lips embark
She opened her eyes and caught your falling heart

I pass time
As you pass your essential smile generously to me
Bringing me closer to wanting
I’m awakened by your acorn eyes
Sweet Butterscotch skin of butter and brown sugar
Compels me to acknowledge
The cravings of my tongue

You screamed out secrets
Nobody would ever hear
All of silence fell
On that moment
On that breath
When you most needed relief
When your heart was so filled with cries
You dreamed of carving it out
Till you bled
As a warning to others like you
And there will be others
Who cheat themselves with internal screams
No one ever hears or sees
The sun has set and dawn will not release you

Please play me your piano heart
Till you’re free
Till your fingers bleed and you weep
Till lovers make love after dark
And angels sing

Till night says goodbye and dawn arrives
And everything day promises is smothered in music notes
Till minor cords become major
And destiny is destroyed

Please play me your piano heart
Make the notes scream
All the words you couldn’t say
Carve your melodies in their brain
Till they see
Your piano heart and me was always meant to be

Electric shot through his body
Sparks fired off her heart
His wired veins pulsated
As the rush of heat zapped her soul
And adrenaline seized their minds
Electrons surged wild  
The curse of heightened senses
Left him vulnerable to pain
Her energy broke his circuit
When she removed her fuse
And walked away

Your colours burst
Like fireworks
Rainbow spices
Scent the air
Henna painted fingers
Dance with fluent flair
A natural rhythmic pulse
Encompasses the tone
Love and hope explodes
In forever summer notes

There she stood
In darkness
By the window of an upstairs room
Her silk robe slid from her shoulders
Shadowed her lines
And fell silently to the floor

There she stood
Bare
The faint moonlight illuminating
The milkiness of her protruding *******
Her slender curves and beating chest

Your hands are intentionally keen
Though you’re nowhere to be seen
Your soul a glowing sunset
Penetrating heat
Through my bones
Though my eyes are closed
Your energy speaks sensual prose
Your breath lights my flame
Controls the flickers of my frame
I become the universe
We become one
As I pray
For an ever setting sun

Sounds unravel
The chugging of a steam train
Building momentum
Till it’s no longer chugging
But gliding,
Flying
Freedom explodes in controlled contradiction
Keeping me stoked,
Alive
Transcending cosmic pathways via my veins
To every place I’ve ever longed to see
Every thing I’ve never hoped to be
On this enlightening ride
Sounds, places, people, planets collide
An impassioned ensemble, comets divide
The Earth makes love and peace with celestial life
We’re all connected, ever combined
A universal tribe