The moment I saw you I knew you were special. The way my body shook and my heart stopped. Just by a simple picture made me fantasize moments I can share with you. From spending winter nights under the stars snuggling in the sheets. to a long walk around the beach while are toes covered by the warm sand. A month goes by and I still can't believe you gave this royal fool a chance of a lifetime and now, I can't help but smile and feel like a young boy and his first love. I've always loved a woman that can get my mind going make me wonder make my imagination run wild. But with you I can't even get close to figuring you out.. your a mystery.  I try to read your heart and soul and I can feel it's warmth but its guarded right to the core. I can see that your scared and you know what else? I'm scared too. Never in my life have I let my guard down so easily. Your voice and touch turns into a key and unlocks my locked doors one by one and you start to notice what's in my heart. Love pure love pure and sweet like honey from a hive. I try to unlock your doors but yours is hard to get into. Every single one has its own unique lock. Maybe that's why it's hard for me to read what's in your heart. But you know what? I wouldn't mind spending ten years twenty or more trying to unlock those doors. And when every single one is open I'll go deep into the core and do what I've always wanted to do. Sew your heart with mine. Because since that first day. I wanted to give you the warmth I can give the love I can show and the security I can provide. You came into my life out of the blue and every day I will never stop till you feel what this royal fool has felt for you.

that feeling in the pit of your stomach as you raise your eyes to look at them, it's lethal

my love is like poison and the second upon exposure i'm left vulnerable but you're left affected forever, one step forward, a single blow to the lips and he has to open his eyes to see her face and remember this is real, she is real

it won't be movie love, it will be real love, and for that you must be warned - do not engage if you don't want after-*** cuddles and life contemplations, hot chocolate runs and holding hands without gloves since the heat from your hands are enough to warm the lack of oxygen reaching mine, late night laughter and cheesy dancing

do not engage if you don't want to let yourself fall in love, because it will happen slowly and if you realise when it's too late that you need to back out you need to know that like a bee who stings and dies, pushing me away from you after i've loved will cause me to be crippled not only by the weight of the falseness that i've been living in, but also the dense, crushing weight of my own love, of the letters and the kisses and the laughter

if you see me contemplate running after you when we say goodbye because i've always had a fear of departure, if you see my eyes light up when you walk into a room with an expression that can only be described as warmth and admiration, if you see my hand slowly make its way to yours in a desire to be held and comforted, if you see me love completely, depressingly, you need to stop me, because i'm warning you that if you don't i will get hurt and the pain of being locked out of my life forever will hurt you more in the months proceeding than it will hurt me as i learn to build myself up again for somebody else

you can fall in love with my lips, my humour, my dresses, my laughter, my smile, the emptiness of my eyes, the constant fear, the happiness when food comes, and anything else and everything else - but please, remember that it's lethal

it's lethal to love and to be loved, but it's the best poison i've ever really known

If hearts can fly
     To find the wind of longing,
Then wings, why grow from her back?
Why not embrace her, for me,
Warm her and wipe those tears away?
     Why not seal love?
Why close the distance still,
And toil, tire and shed
Just to encircle us both?
     Why not seal love, light
          And forget me?

               Why defeat the darkness?*

© 2015 J.S.P.