The stage has always been my home.
The great curtains acting as a dome.
Memorizing lines, my get away.
Until you came and thought you would stay.
It was alright for a while,
You were everything except vile.
Soon you became by hope.
Turning my world into your  kaleidoscope.
You swept me off my feet.
I learned the kinetic theory of heat.
That was just what you were doing.
My heart you were pursuing.
The curtains acted as a dome.
Then I made you my home.

*K.M.W.

And while  I lay here in this warm bed. A bed that's drowned in many tears, I realize it's all coming back.
And I can't stop it this time.
I can't mutter a word not even to the guy whose suppose to be the love of my life.
I push my parents away and ignore friends who have always been there.
WHAT AM I DOING ANYMORE.
what if I cant do this anymore?

How to begin such a unforgiving time.
A time where mother dearest was never home.
A time father drank four bottles of Strawberry flavored *** a night to forget the times back in the desert.
A time where my sister never spoke to me, didn't know where to find me.
A time my brother sexually harassed me for months at a time.
A time I dragged a cold  jagged thin piece of rusted metal across my thighs.
But
What about the good times?
Times where Mom called me first.
Or when dad spent time with only me.
Even when my sister came to visit me on her birthday.
Maybe even the days my brother and I stayed up playing video games.
And maybe that time I-

Downed a bottle of pills.
Spent 4 weeks in a recovery center only to be shipped to Philadelphia for further treatment.
Or when I thought I fell in love for the first time with the boy who wasn't quite a man.

There's times where I still wake up not wanting to get out of bed but I do. and that means maybe not today or tomorrow I will make good times with myself.

He had been dreaming.
since the death of his grandfather.
He wanted nothing more to be just like him.
See all the things he had, do all the things he did.
He said once to me.
"Nothing will get in the way of me doing this."
He was determined to live such a lifestyle
Until you came along.
Look what you did to him.
Ruined his hopes, burned down his dreams.
Darling, your're twisted.
You got in his head
But the drill sergeant would of done it for you.
You ruined all his chances for a fulfilling life.
You took away his chance to be named a Marine.

11 years ago
the last words you told my father were
"I'm coming back."
He waited 7 months,
Even called your mother.
Where did you go?
you left your family,
a daughter and potentially husband.
but **** was more beautiful than a bright future for yourself.
you've missed events your never gonna experience.
Your daughter turns 16  in 56 days.
Cliff wells he's got a woman now its been almost 10 years.
That woman raised me.
Shes the mom you could have never been.
Coleen.