Falling from the heavens
Shattered me into a million pieces
My body is frail
My bones; dust
My heart has grown weary

Once, I thought I'd had it all
Where you're the highest, you see
Is the furthest to fall
Now I lie beneath the dirt
Because my spirit couldn't handle
One more word

But words, it seems
They carry me
Through the ups and downs
These words, I hear
Whisper to my soul
Your words, I hear
And will never let them go

"The best thing about being at the bottom, is that the only way for you to go is up"

Up
Back to the heavens
With new stars set in my eyes
No chains from the past will keep me earthbound
No nails in my coffin will hold me down
Because only the strong will rise

I will rise

My mind runs in circles
Thinking of all the good and bad
In my life, currently
And in the past

I miss my aunt
My heart aches for her
And I wish she could be here
To see my wedding, because
I know she is probably in heaven
Wishing she could be here with me
And tell Jared how handsome he is
And how great we look together
The things
She used to say

I worry about money
Now more than ever
Getting a house for the first time
And paying for a wedding
All at once is overwhelming
But I know it will be worth it in the end

I stress right now
About almost everything
Which is odd, because normally
I never stress at all

But my baby cousin
Who is barely a month old
Is now in the hospital
And his mom doesn't think
he is going to make it
His big sister is going to be
Devastated

The lack of support
That I have from getting married
Is nauseating
Why can't people let us be happy?
Instead of stressing us out...

There are just so many things
Running through my mind
So many things
And I'm not sure why

It's just another sunrise

Just another lonely day

Just another lonely day

Just another silent way

To tell you that I'm trying

It's just another sunrise

Another surprise

Just because I didn't say goodbye

Just another lie

To tell you I'm alright

It's just another sunrise

Like any other

But last night was

Harder than the others

I stressed, little-too long

Took things a little too far

But I woke up to the sunrise

And knew that I am strong

A lot of my problems
Lie deep down
They're nearly impossible to find

My value of life
For the time I nearly died
Disembodied by a train
I was merely seconds away

My fear of people
Reflects each time I was
Burned in my life
And I quickly learned
That one can only trust themselves
And people let you down

My numbness
Like a void
From all the tragedy I've faced
Losing the man I loved at 15
And all the abuse

My love for the darkness
Came over like a sickness
For, colors, make me burn
Reminds me of all the funerals
All the dead loved ones

I reflect upon everything
And wonder why
I am a warped human inside

I don't remember
the moment I finally broke
Or why

When did I finally
Give in at the mercy
of conflict?

I just don't uncerstand
When I quit reaching
For something more

To grasp the things
That remain unseen
Untold

I once was a dreamer;
Who's feet never touched
The ground

Now I lie face first
In the dirt
And cannot see
What life is worth

I don't remember
the moment I finally broke
Or why

I only remember
Emptiness snaking up my spine
Now I can't help but to feel
A massive void in my life

And the thing that
Kills me most
Is that I don't know
Why

I've been so far off
So shaken and distant
And I never understood why...

I just can't feel comfortable
Where I am
But I know it'll be good for me
In the end
Then why do I feel so uncomfortable
In my own skin?
Why do I feel so empty?

That's when I realized
This is not where I want to be
Because it's not where my family is
The one I have died off years ago
But the ones who took me in
Resurrected me

When dad said
"When are you coming
To live with us again?"
I nearly fell apart
I yearn to be where I feel I belong
And I guess I've found that place

But now I'm nearly trapped
Miles away with no escape
All I want is to be home
With the only real family
I've ever really known