I feel the loneliest when all I hear are my own footsteps.
but if I stop walking, I can still hear myself breathe.
And if I stop breathing, I can still hear my thoughts.
Now, all I can think about is how to not hear myself
What will it take to deny my existence?
The outburst of air left me with only the sound of a rapid heartbeat.
I am now furious, " Why is it so easy for everyone else to deny me?"
"Everyone else does it without any effort at all!"
I find my anger futile, I continue on my walk to another lonely place.
As I chug the water down, I can't help but to hope I choke on it and perish then and there.
Don't forget to leave the TV on so I can hear something other than myself.
EVERY SUBTLE MOVEMENT IS LIKE BEING NEXT TO A CANNON
Even the sound of my hair sliding is enough to want to cut & burn it.
Luckily I will only hear myself for a few more brief seconds before I drift into slumber.
I dream of being unable to die, not because of some witches curse.
But because she gave me a reason to listen to my footsteps again.
If I don't live I can't be with her.
Her face and name are unknown.
Her voice is empty without any real noise being made.
I can feel and hear her emotions.
I choose not to hold her hand, I know its just a dream.
Waking up in tears, I carry on with myself for at least one more day.
If I could just see her again like I did.
Just knowing she is there only for me, in only my world.
I wonder if she feels lonely to...
I think next time I will hold her hand.
I will accept my existence, only for her.
Even if she is just my imagination.
For me that is enough, to carry on with the *Sounds of Solitude.
Turned out to be more of a story, but I wrote it as if it were poetry and that's all that matters.