julianna

julianna Dec 2018

This time of year, I want a beret
Woolen and soft,
It’s cafe and chic
We’ll go ice skating
Catch the train
Take Polaroid pictures
And be happy
But I can’t find that stupid,
Perfect-colored beret

We’ll still go ice skating
Catch the train
Take Polaroid pictures
And look happy
But I’ll still wish I had that beautiful, perfect, stupid beret

#winter #beret

julianna Dec 2018

Under Pressure

Keep it to yourself,
Under pressure I will break
Off of balance,
Off my game.
Disappointing,
Disappoint
Expect nothing
Expect nothing.

I have a fear of rejection and it sometimes gets in the way of me making new friends. If you have no expectations, I can surpass them, but if I do surpass them, then I’m afraid of not being able to live up to them again.

#under #pressure

julianna Dec 2018

No More Poems

No more poems about the past,
None about the future.
I’m working I’m on being present
Instead of excusing myself to solve
old problems.

I’m trying hard to be in the moment, give people the attention that they deserve, and enjoy life. It’s hard with all the thoughts that constantly run through my mind, but it’s definately a work in progress.

#poem #past #future #present #life

julianna Nov 2018

How Bad Is.

How bad can I be?
When I’m safe and happy
Something crumbles apart
I start questioning myself
Am I a bad person?
Is this my fault?
Why am I like this?
Yes, the thoughts go away
But I’m afraid, waiting
For the moment when they’ll return

Nov 2018

haysia

Too little

Too numb or too sensitive.
Too dumb or too smart
Too much or not enough
Too happy or too sad

There's nothing in between.

#depression

julianna Nov 2018

Impulsivity and Indecisiveness

Everything begins with I,
Impulsivity and Indecisiveness.
These two words go together, my
Impulsivity and Indecisiveness.
They make me say or not be able to,
Impulsivity and Indecisiveness.
They usually come in a pair, the two,
Impulsivity and Indecisiveness.
I know that they will go away,
Impulsivity and Indecisiveness.
But some days they just flood my brain,
Impulsivity and Indecisiveness.

#anxiety #bad #day #impulsive #indecisive

julianna Nov 2018

My Name

Introduce me to you
Say your name, I have one too
My name is so, so far away
Galaxies can fill the fray
Between what I feel
And what’s my name

I’m dissociating again. My name feels unfamiliar...

#dissociative #depersonalization #anxiety