I know i wont be seeing you anymore

i am a sheet of white paper
very light and sacred
and you are the pen
full of some untold stories
you know that paper and pen are meant to be together
so i gave you all my body and soul
for you

I took the ink blot test
and responded to each blot
with the first thing to come to mind

for the first blot,
I answered:
a headless angel of death.
this was a bad answer.

for the second blot,
I said:
high five with legs chopped off.
this was a bad answer.

for the third blot,
I wrote:
the face of gluttony
this was a bad answer

for the fourth blot
I shakily stated:
I see a mountain of agony
and at the bottom
are two pilgrims
of hope
and ability
carrying the burden of man between them.
this was the first thing to pop into my head.
and it was a bad answer.

it was supposed to show what I think of my father.
I certainly had a lot to say.
but nobody I asked really knew how to interpret that.
so for now,
I am just crazy.

Be my morning coffee.
Pull me out from under the covers and burn on the way down.
Two sugars.
Put a spring in my step and twitch in my fingers.
Be my afternoon cigarette.
Be my long awaited break from reality
Light my eyes as I take each drag of you and keep me warm.
Stay on my lips and let me inhale every last bit of you.
Be my nightly sleeping pill
Envelope me in your grasp and take me elsewhere.
End my tossing and turning and plant dreams in my head so real I can taste them.
Until morning