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Some
people hold
onto their
pain and sadness
like a mother
with her
newborn child

It
grows as
the years pass by
being nurtured
along the
way
becoming
a part
of them

Making
setting it free
just as
heartwrenching
as
being held
captive
by it
The way the sunrise sets the sky on fire at dawn,
or the silence of the woods at 3am.
The way fingertips feel on bare skin,
or the sleepy weight on my eyes after reading too many pages.
The smell of fire in the threads of my clothes,
or the laughter of children echoing from dead-end streets.

I overflow with words for the things I love most;
their graceful presence so simple, so understood.

But you walk up behind me and
your fingers trace the muscles in my back and
your breath settles into my skin and
you whisper, "Where have you been?"



And I have no words beautiful enough to describe that.
 Sep 2014 Judex Banzuela
Jedd Ong
The State of My Tagalog:

Stuttering.

Guess that's what you can call it.

The insecure prose that curls downward
On my notebook.

It reeks of bit
And piece
And syllable.

Singular
Because language
After language
After language

Enter my mind
And slip it
Just as quickly,
Leaving only
Fragments.

Oh, the frustration
As I ask
For loose change
From
My sister cashier.

I can't even ask for
The right amount
In Tagalog nowadays.

"Singkwenta."
"Bente."

That adds up to 75, I think.

Passing score on my
Report card too.

My self-graded Filipino class.

Don't even know
How I managed
To spell "Ibarra,"

"Tanikala," "himagsikan,"
"Liwayway..."

I'd sing and not spell,
If they never caught
At the bottom of my throat.

-------------------------------------------

Ang Kalagayan ng Aking Tagalog:

Nauutal.

'Yan ang pwede **** sabihin sa ‘kin.

Walang tiwala sa sariling gawa,
Patunong pababa ang mga salita
Sa aking kwaderno.

Ito’y sumisingaw ng piraso
At bahagi
At pantig.

Nag-iisa
Dahil wika
Bawa’t wika
Bawa’t wika

Ay pumapasok sa aking kalooban
At umaalis
Ganun ding kabilis,
Naiiwan ang mga
Kaputol lamang nito.

O, kay inip
Habang ako’y humihingi
Ng barya
Kay Ateng Kahera.

‘Di ko nga kayang
Humingi ng tamang halaga
Sa wikang Pilipino ngayon.

“Singkwenta.”
“Bente.”
Ito ay pitompu’t lima, ata.

Pasang awa rin
Sa aking report kard

Sariling pagmamarka sa Filipino.

‘Di ko nga alam
Kung paano 'kong
Naisusulat ang “Ibarra.”

"Tanikala," "himagsikan,"
"Liwayway…"

Nais kong kantahin at huwag lang sulatin,
Kung ‘di lang man silang sumasabit
Sa ilalim ng aking lalamunan.
Thank you to Sofia for the amazing translation. She is found here: http://hellopoetry.com/sofia-paderes/. Stop by—you won't be disappointed.
 Sep 2014 Judex Banzuela
Jenny
The poems I read here are mostly tragic beauty.
Line after line
I can see that we are not all just
fine and dandy.

The letters chosen
are strung together.
They just keep going on forever.

The words they make , however,
each are splendid and
profoundly, purposefully unique.

The thoughts spilled out here
are often troubling at best.
I can't help but pray
for each poet's souls end to unrest.

These words of course have to be real
but they also have so much power to heal!

For those words are each unique
and can express so much more
other than our darkest street,
but more and more of hope
and of our highest highest peaks!
I started a joke, which started the whole world crying,
but I didn't see that the joke was on me, oh no.

I started to cry, which started the whole world laughing,
oh, if I'd only seen that the joke was on me.

I looked at the skies, running my hands over my eyes,
and I fell out of bed, hurting my head from things that I'd said.

Til I finally died, which started the whole world living,
oh, if I'd only seen that the joke was on me.

I looked at the skies, running my hands over my eyes,
and I fell out of bed, hurting my head from things that I'd said.

'Til I finally died, which started the whole world living,
oh, if I'd only seen that the joke was one me.
One of my favorite Bee Gees song
www.youtube.com/watch?v=fkG4oIPT7tU
Things are not always as they should be.
Even though I'm happy,
It's still a struggle, you see.
Whether it is: Day by day.
Night by night.
Week by week
Decade by decade,
You'll get through.

The key to any struggle, is to focus on that which works for you.
Be sure it's for real though.
Taking away the pain just seems so impossible

It's hard to smile when a smile is so hard to achieve

When there is nothing to smile about

When there's things  standing in your way

Others will try and be there but they will never understand

They will never understand how you feel

How can you be helped if you don't want to be helped

If you're so comfortable with who you are

But at the same time it's all you ever knew
i tried to write about how
the flowers craved the warmth
from the sun,
but somehow i ended up
writing about
you

to me, the world doesn't
spin in your absence,
and when you leave
the sky becomes just a
little bit darker

your voice would, always,
be my favorite soundtrack
i hope you never fall,
you never feel pain

you are an addiction,
i'm afraid too much of you
would be an
unhealthy overdose

i hope you never think of me
as much as i think
about waking up
next to you at 3am
I will not ask you to stay

If you must go, go
I don't need you
I will breathe (carefully) without you
I will smile (slowly) without you
I will go on (eventually) without you

I'd be much happier
If you chose to not leave,
But if you must let go, let go
And I will too

Hopefully one day
I will teach my heart to not break
Whenever everyday thoughts
Lead to you

I'm afraid I'm much too weak,
I'm afraid we'll always be
A book with the end pages ripped out,
I'm afraid I'll always wonder,
Always ache,
Always place everyone second to you

I'm afraid I'll always love you,
But I will not ask you to stay
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