She carried herself across the tops of houses riding on clouds and when we pretend to sleep we make no sounds.
We hold our breath and let our chests rise and fall to the click-snap of opening doors and whispered fights.
The night was thirsty and more than happy to swallow your secrets.
We bump pillows while our lids flutter. open and closed.
We cloaked our ears trying to unhear words shimmy and shake against eachother.
Brilliant shouts shake the house and Shhhhhh is unnecessary when you're not where you should be
no longer in dreamless sleep
Lips lock and bad memories we keep
Cause they're ******* talkin about me
My heart goes da da da dummmmp
Skip trip jump
Cler........
..
...
..Plump
Stop. Waaaaiiiit... Um.
Did they hear me? No.
Da dump daaaaaadummmmm da dump
Too young for chest pains and migranes
That **** is for listening to all your kids talk at once
But i plan to have none
The darkness wraps it's fingers around my already broken neck
It makes a noose out of shadows and hangs me up for all the dead to see
it puts on my eye patches
Envades my mind cause I had the shakes bad today
Another blackout takes me but im afraid im already in too deep

We didn't break and we did not bend.
We swayed like toothpicks between teeth.
Sitting.
Silently smiling with cigarettes hanging from our bitter lips.
Smoking up the thing as if we were women who couldn't get enough lipstick.
But life bumped me and i smeared that ****.
See i wanted wintry hands and an almost nonexistent waist.
In order for that to happen my mind had to break.
I bent over backwards trying to get toa new body. I did cartwheels over calories and colored in a watery blue on all the pictures of food. I fade farther into myself the older i get and monsters ****** my imagination. There's a grave labeled "skeleton girl" that we're racing to. I Thought if skinny means dying then so be it. My mind already offed it's self when it analyzed my thoughts.

You say we’re in love,
you say it’s forever…a hundred years to be precise,
yet here I sit, alone with the wonder of insincerity

He says we’re in love…
or rather he said we were,
That’s in the past

Messages exchanged were dripping
with admiration and joy,
Daily reminders of love dwindled to
daily, weekly, monthly… gone

“I love you” was something I was too used to hearing,
took for granted even… and now?
you won’t even respond to a simple hello

you can’t blame me to think our love has met it’s end

When your gut is in tangles,
writhing like snakes, your tongue inundated with the bitterness of dread,
There’s a reason people say to trust your gut… and here I am,
with the unabating feeling that something’s gone terribly wrong

Many would say its emotional abuse, yet I can’t seem to notice that trend…
He’s making a game of your emotions, they say,
yet here I stay

I’ll be waiting in this silence forever,
waiting for a call that never comes…
waiting with a love that’s been forgotten

Having an anxious soul is worse than pretending to have a patient face. Being someone you’re not will never change the fact that you are who you are. You will never be her, and you will never be him. If you respect yourself, the ones who care the most will hopefully follow suit and treat you better than the most beloved person that they have ever encountered. Life is always going to hurt, but it will only hurt as much as you let it hurt.

an excerpt from "Honey" by Andrea Gibson

"Jesus ******* Kennedy

Do you have any idea how gorgeous you are when you’re tripping
Literally tripping
I have never met anyone more clumsy
You walk into a room and turn every head when you crash to the floor
And I’m like ‘that’s my girl!"

Hey lovely,
Let me be the JD
To your Veronica
You said you liked the fact that I'm not crazy
Ha! Good luck with that one
You're right, I'm not into miscommunication
But!
I'm still a little itty bitty bit ******
In the head
That's okay though
I love you, my lovely