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John Darnielle Dec 2021
I hope that our few remaining friends
Give up on trying to save us
I hope we come up with a failsafe plot
To ******* the dumb few that forgave us
I hope the fences we mended
Fall down beneath their own weight
And I hope we hang on past the last exit
I hope it's already too late
And I hope the junkyard a few blocks from here
Someday burns down
And I hope the rising black smoke carries me far away
And I never come back to this town
Again in my life
I hope I lie
And tell everyone you were a good wife
And I hope you die
I hope we both die

I hope I cut myself shaving tomorrow
I hope it bleeds all day long
Our friends say it's darkest before the sun rises
We're pretty sure they're all wrong
I hope it stays dark forever
I hope the worst isn't over
And I hope you blink before I do
Yeah I hope I never get sober
And I hope when you think of me years down the line
You can't find one good thing to say
And I'd hope that if I found the strength to walk out
You'd stay the hell out of my way
I am drowning
There is no sign of land
You are coming down with me
Hand in unlovable hand
And I hope you die
I hope we both die
There may come a day, as I say, when you may have cause to sing this song. I hope that that day never comes. At the same time, I know that it will. Let’s not kid each other. You're going to have a very bad relationship someday. It's not just gonna ****, it's gonna **** ***. You’re going to make up a little chart of all the ***** that it *****. It’ll be your ***-chart on your bedroom wall. Your significant other will say, 'What is this?' and you will say 'Oh, they’re butts. Just butts.' and they'll say, 'The hell they are; that's an ***-chart!' Where will you be then, O Sinner? As the great worm that never dies curls its slimy folds around your naked heart, you will need a song to sing. This is that song.
John Darnielle Dec 2021
I broke free on a Saturday morning
I put the pedal to the floor
Headed north on Mills avenue
And listened to the engine roar

My broken house behind me and good things ahead
A girl named Cathy wants a little of my time
Six cylinders underneath the hood crashing and kicking
Aha, listen to the engine whine

I am going to make it through this year
If it kills me
I am going to make it through this year
If it kills me

I played video games in a drunken haze
I was seventeen years young
Hurt my knuckles punching the machines
The taste of scotch rich on my tongue

And then Cathy showed up and we hung out
Trading swigs from a bottle all bitter and clean
Locking eyes, holding hands
Twin high maintenance machines

I am going to make it through this year
If it kills me
I am going to make it through this year
If it kills me

I drove home in the California dusk
I could feel the alcohol inside of me hum
Pictured the look on my stepfather's face
Ready for the bad things to come
I down shifted as I pulled into the driveway
The motor screaming out stuck in second gear
The scene ends badly as you might imagine
In a cavalcade of anger and fear

There will be feasting and dancing
In Jerusalem next year

I am going to make it through this year
If it kills me
I am going to make it through this year
If it kills me
This is a song about how sometimes you are living in a house and you're in high school and your stepfather is abusing your mother and you, and it really *****. You have to take a lot of drugs to deal with that, right, but you don't have to, I should say. But you probably do. And when you do, they make you feel marginally better but the main thing that makes you feel better is the company of other people who are as damaged as you are or will shortly become as damaged as you are, and you can sense it, because there is an internal sensor if you bear some damage, you have this sensor that says 'That person is either damaged or is getting there, and I think I will hang out with her until things get a little brighter.'
John Darnielle Dec 2021
you roared into the driveway of our southwestern ranch-style house
on a new Kawasaki, all yellow and black
fresh out of the showroom.
our house faced west,
so the big orange sun positioned at your back,
lit up your magnificent silhouette.
how much better?
how much better can my life get?
900 cubic centimeters of raw whining power.
no outstanding warrants for my arrest.
whoa-whoa. whoa whoa.
the pirate's life for me.

I hopped on back of the bike, wrapped my arms around you.
and I sank my face into your hair.
and then I inhaled as deeply as I possibly could.
you were as sweet and delicious as the warm desert air.
and you pointed your headlamp toward the horizon,
we were the one thing in the galaxy god didn't have his eyes on.
900 cc's of raw whining power,
no outstanding warrants for my arrest.
hi ****** dee dee.
*******!
the pirate's life for me!
You know, people are always saying to each other, they say, 'You're the only thing that's important in my life.' Saying this to each other all the time. But then sometimes you may meet a couple of people and when you see them, you know that when they say that to each other, that's exactly what you mean. You should guard your wallets around these sorts of people. They don't really care about the things that are out of their immediate sphere, and their immediate sphere is definable by the distance between one another's eyes. This song is sung from the perspective of one such person in such a duality. It takes place in Texas.
John Darnielle Dec 2021
Three fresh meals every day
And one white pill to chase the chills away
And me, I know what it's all about
And we all know what it's like to have to go without

Five of us are left, that's down from twenty
But the guy in the white coat, he tells me that five is plenty
Yeah, one soft bed to rest my head upon
And me, I know what side my bread's buttered on

There's a light in the window
There's a light in all of us trying to get free
There's a light in all of you who hear my song
There's a virus eating its way through me
older song i wrote with my good friend Franklin Bruno
John Darnielle Oct 2021
Jumping out of my skin
This tiny sector can't contain me
Suit up in a flash
Slipping symbols bravely, bravely
Go where I'm not wanted
Stand where the light hits hard
Almost full grown
Drive home alone and listen to the slow parts

In a new universe
Trying to find the mask that fits me
Shaking the curse
Behaving as the beacons bid me
Denim and leather
Silver strap to please the diehards
Let me dance till I die
Turn the volume up high and listen to thе slow parts

Alien ships from ancient realms
Ageless captains at their helms
Rage from the sea
Let it begin with me

Half-life of my toxins
Difficult to calculate
Stock up on gauze in case of accidents
Try to keep my story straight
Dozens like me
Never quite free, filling out our dance cards
Mark my time on the wall
Answer the call and listen to the slow parts
All songs end up being autobiographical if you take the long view, but 'The Slow Parts on Death Metal Albums' is probably the most directly confessional song on Dark in Here.
John Darnielle Oct 2021
I don't like going to the doctor
I don't like looking in the mirror
I like looking out the window
Watching the waves break
Do I have to hit you over the head with it
Do I have to hit you over the head with it

I'm tired of talking to the suckers
I'm tired of talking to the wealthy
I wanna talk to men and women
Who haven't got anything left
Do I have to hit you over the head with it
Do I have to hit you over the head with it

Carry me down to the water
Where I used to play when I was five
Let me go, let me go down to the water
Don't bring me back alive
Do I have to hit you over the head with it
Do I have to hit you over the head with it
Dec 2020 · 531
Great Gold Sheep
John Darnielle Dec 2020
I'm going to do what I like
I'm going to live how I want
I'm going to build myself a great estate
With lots of statues out front

Choirs from the Curtis Institute
Singing me to sleep
Wake up and worship the great gold sheep

I'm going to walk the pathways of the ancients
I'm going to let my name be known
I'm going to seek the wild haunts of this world
And carve a place out all my own

Heat up the iron until it glows
Burn the brand so deep
Wake up and worship the great gold sheep

There's only one, splendid and fine
The ages attest it's wondrous design
You and me stand somehow above the fray
And name everyone who's throwing their chance away

I'm going to write my name on everything
I'm going to leave a lasting legacy
And when my body's thrown with great force from a window
The dogs will fight for whatever's left of me

Shallow grave among the weeds
Where the pale worms creep
Wake up and worship the great gold sheep
Dec 2020 · 160
Bell Swamp Connection
John Darnielle Dec 2020
Toward the tail-end of the age that's almost finished
Where the highway starts to crack and nobody fixes it
I was wandering through an undeveloped tract
Out near the ocean
One-hundred acres, we will build to suit
See what there is to see before it's gone
Somebody's always just about to put some kind of awful plan in motion

Eastern red cedars,
and the pines
And suddenly an elevated stone slab
in what must have been a clearing once
Try to recognize the signals and the signposts
My curiosity
Will likely always get the best of me

It's like that one thing
My Dad kept trying to tell me
As the twilight
Inched its way on up his body
Get out! Get out! Get out! Get out!

Well of course I climbed atop the slab and I lay down on it
I am a child
I had my face toward the sky lying there in the sun with both my eyes closed
Woke up in near darkness
What the hell is wrong with me
Volunteer pines in the hundreds in the dusk like military tent poles

Let my eyes adjust
Try to read the markings on the slab
Weird alphabets I felt sure I hadn't seen just before I passed out
Stars growing brighter
Me looking up
Like a lobster in a cage down in the depths beneath the bottom of a glass boat

And I heard a voice
From somewhere out beyond the free fall
Like a captive soldier
He's just trying to warn his brothers
Get out! Get out! Get out! Get out!
Nov 2020 · 596
Masher
John Darnielle Nov 2020
Most of the brine has got to boil away
Most of the air has got to choke you
Most of June I spent in jail again
I don't mean jail, exactly
Up in the pine tree
Red squirrel looking down at me

I am losing control of the language again
I am losing control of the language again

Most of the things I used to hold onto
Most of the things I used to say to you
Most of the ways I knew around the local roads
Are disappearing daily
High in the cottonwood
You were looking down at me and you sure looked good
Hair hanging down in the leaves
Your neck tilted back to make a rainbow

I was losing control of the language again
I am losing control of the language again
from Full Force Galesburg, 1996
John Darnielle Nov 2020
Speed down 24
toward the city for supplies
Technically out of bounds
Roll my window down,
hear my tires sing to the asphalt
And drink in the highway sounds

Oh solitude, friend of the friendless
Light in the dark night coming on
Grab what I want without saying a word
And drive through the dark 'til dawn

Track lights blur together,
anklet buzzing on my leg
Thinking up lies to tell
And this may be the time
I get banished from the palace
To seek out some smaller cell

Oh solitude, friend of the friendless
Light in the dark night coming on
Grab what I want without saying a word
And ride through the dark 'til dawn
John Darnielle Nov 2020
We broke the doorknob off of the door  
The door swung open easily
We sauntered into the poorly lit store
and looked around lazily
We stole every bit of candy they had inside
Gobbled it all up greedily on our 3 month ride
I'm gonna miss you when you're gone
I'm gonna miss you when you're gone

You headed out to the getaway car
And hit the open road
I saw something written in tall clear letters on your face
but I could not break the code
We had hot caramel sticking to our teeth
and the only love I've ever known burning underneath
I'm gonna miss you when you're gone
I'm gonna miss you when you're gone

I'm gonna miss you when you're gone
I'm gonna miss you when you're gone
Nov 2020 · 966
Tidal Wave
John Darnielle Nov 2020
It's not the barnacles that do all the damage
Figure this out too late
It's not the destination that makes the difference
It's the freight

Everything becomes a blur from six feet away
Get used to this
Every card ever turned over remains in play
Get used to this

Not every wave is a tidal wave
Not every wave is a tidal wave

It's not the mutiny written down in the diary
It's the manifest
Forgotten cargo in obsolete measurements
Anybody's guess

Even the proud, even the very proud
Probably die on their knees
Twin masts out on the open seas
Mistaken for trees

Not every wave is a tidal wave
Not every wave is a tidal wave
this song may or may not be titled after the Magic: the Gathering card
Nov 2020 · 566
Corsican Mastiff Stride
John Darnielle Nov 2020
We sail we sleep we scry by land
We dig a pit beneath the sand
A place to keep the sun at bay
At dark we rise and find our way

With our faithful companion by our side
Put it all on the table and let it ride
Close to the drop-off on our long slide

The land we left becomes a dream
The ghosts we knew, they rise like steam
They leave some trails against the sky
All but invisible to the eye

With our faithful companion by our side
Put it all on the table and let it ride
Close to the drop-off on our long slide

Call off the search party,
Let mourners wail by the shore

Point to the spot where our ship disappeared
We're not coming home any more

Should you succeed and breach the coast
You tell your friends you've seen a ghost
You tell them all there's nothing here worth dying for
You leave it there

With our faithful companion by our side
Put it all on the table and let it ride
Close to the drop-off on our long slide
song from the new album, Getting into Knives
John Darnielle Jun 2020
I hear you starting up again
I see you standing on the deck
I hear your voice start to carry
I see the veins throbbing in your neck

And I know what you're saying
And I know what you're saying it for
But I'm not listening
I'm not listening anymore

And I see you come toward me
I see the sun climb down the sky
I hear your voice getting faster and louder
I see a stranger in your eyes

And I know what you're saying
And I know what you're saying it for
But I'm not listening
I'm not listening anymore
John Darnielle May 2020
I know what I want
And I know what we need
When the first fruits of the harvest
Begin to blacken and bleed
And the purple fruit gives way when you press it
Even so slightly
And through the thatches behind the green leaves
We heard the fire-eyed macaw sing as evil as you please
And his little song
Is a very pretty song
But it's something I won't stand for

And as the sun rises over Colombia
I know we're done for

When the holes started forming in the tent
And you wondered out loud where the sunlight went
I had a mind to tell you
But I didn't want to hurt you
And if I knew how to form the words
I would ask you what you'd come for

But as the sun rises over Colombia
I know we're done for

Yeah as the sun rises over Colombia
I know we're done for
As the sun rises over Colombia
I know we're done for
John Darnielle May 2020
You clean out your junk-drawer, you mop up some blood
While the first of the new creatures rises from the mud
Cursing the moment that saw him draw breath
The ghost on your doorstep is starving to death

You spray down the windows, you wipe them all clean
And you douse your old clothing with fresh gasoline
And the ghost on your doorstep is soaked wet with rain
And he clutches his stomach and howls at the pain

And you can stay busy all day
He’s never going away

So let all the lights blaze, keep your heart light
Play really loud music all hours of the night
And when you set the table, set it for two
The ghost on your doorstep has to eat, same as you
Same as you
John Darnielle May 2020
Let the camera pull back 'til the fullness
of the frame is clear and plain
Peer into the screen until you see it all
like a vision in a crystal ball
Let it all fill with smoke
Is this somebody's idea of a joke

Let the fixer work until the silver's
washed away and take the
picture from the tray
Look hard at what you see and then
remember you and me
and let the truth spring free

Like a jack-in-the-box
Like a hundred-thousand cuckoo clocks
From the Oregon corners
To the Iowa corn
To the rooms with the heat lamps
where the snakes get born

Crawl through the tunnel and follow,
follow the light northwest
See that young man who dwells inside
his body like an uninvited guest
See the tunnel twist
Clutch your birthright in your fist
Let the camera do its ***** work
down there in the dark
Sink low, rise high,
and bring back some blurry pictures to
remember all your darker moments by

Permanent bruises on our knees
Never forget what it felt like
to live in rooms like these
From the California coastline
To the Iowa corn
To the rooms with the heat lamps
where the snakes get born
John Darnielle May 2020
They're gonna find intelligent life up there on the moon
And the Canterbury Tales will shoot up to the top of the bestseller list
And stay there for 27 weeks

And the Chicago Cubs will beat every team in the league
And the Tampa Bay Bucs will make it all the way through January
And I will love you again
I will love you, like I used to
I will love you again
I will love you, like I used to

The stars are gonna spell out the answers to tomorrow's crosswords
And the Phillips Corporation will admit that they've made an awful mistake
And Bill Gates will single-handedly spearhead
The Heaven 17 revival

And the Chicago Cubs will beat every team in the league
And the Tampa Bay Bucs will take it all the way to the top
And I will love you again
I will love you, like I used to
And I will love you again
I will love you, like I used to
This song doesn't really work anymore now that the Cubs HAVE won the world series...
John Darnielle May 2020
Holt Boulevard
Between Garey and White
Hooked up with some friends at the Travel lodge
Set ourselves up for the night

Carpenter ants in the dresser
Flies in the screen
It will be too late by the time we learn
What these cryptic symbols mean

And I dreamt of a house
Haunted by all you tweakers with your hands out
And the headstones climbed up the hills
And the headstones climbed up the hills

Send somebody out for soda
Comb through the carpet for clues
Reflective tape on our sweatpants
Big holes in our shoes
Every couple minutes someone says he can't stand it any more
Laugh lines on our faces
Scale maps of the ocean floor

And I dreamt of a camera
Pointing out from inside the television
And the aperture yawning and blinking
And the headstones climbed up the hills

If anybody comes to see me
Tell 'em they just missed me by a minute
If anybody comes in to our room while we're asleep
I hope they incinerate everybody in it

And I dreamt of a factory
Where they manufactured what I needed
Using shiny new machines
And the headstones climbed up the hills
John Darnielle May 2020
New rivers forming on the surface of the world
I mean to say that it's raining
Otis Redding tried to tell me there'd be days like this
But I didn't believe him
Yeah Otis Redding talked about this kind of thing
When I'm only semi-conscious and I hear the phone ring

Let the dogs come out
I'm ready now
Let the dogs come out
I'm ready now
                                                                                
And I remember where I was the last time that it rained like this
And I remember where I was the last time it was raining this hard
And do you remember where I was
And I know that you remember where we were last time it rained like this

Let the dogs come out
I'm ready now
Let the dogs come out
I'm ready now
John Darnielle May 2020
I remembered you
I remembered where you'd come from
I remembered you
I remembered where you've gone

And in the shifting neon air
I saw the colors of the revolution everywhere
Blood royal

I remembered you
I remembered all the things you said
I remembered the shape of your face
I let the thought go to my head

And in the iron blue dawn
I felt power coming on
Blood royal
John Darnielle May 2020
You came down from heaven to the branch outside my window
Your feathers were the color of snow
The dice were loaded against us ever seeing each other
But one of us had nowhere else to go

In your eyes were all the colors that the rainbow forgot
Your wingspan was three feet wide or better
With your voice practicing notes from time's own beginning
You took apart the alphabet letter by letter
And here, where it all stops for good
Where the cool waters run
Thought I saw a mouse kicking in your beak
It was only a skeleton
John Darnielle May 2020
You are sleeping off your demons
When I come home
Spittle bubbling on your lips
Fine white foam

I am young and I am good.
It's a hot southern California day
If I wake you up, there will be hell to pay

And alone in my room,
I am the last of a lost civilization
And I vanish into the dark
And rise above my station
Rise above my station

But I do wake you up, and when I do
You blaze down the hall and you scream
I'm in my room with the headphones on
Deep in the dream chamber
And then I'm awake and I'm guarding my face
Hoping you don't break my stereo
Because it's the one thing that I couldn't live without
And so I think about that and then I sorta black out

Held under these smothering waves
By your strong and thick veined hand
But one of these days I'm going to wriggle up on dry land
John Darnielle May 2020
I will praise your eyes
For burning my house down
I am humbled by how they made the framework fall to the ground
I stood with you and watched you
As you made it burn and fall
In minutes it was almost like it had never even been there at all

When the traffic on this street
Thins out for just a second
I will look into your eyes
I, I will not panic
I am standing on the corner
Where you and I were standing
I am trying to look at the sky
But there are too many colors surrounding me

I will praise your eyes
They have reduced this city to embers
I will see you coming
I will see your eyes through the cold air from a mile away
John Darnielle May 2020
Let the sails catch the wind
Let them grow fat and full
Set out the trawl to catch the animals that look like aliens
The wooden floorboards let out a full and satisfying sound
When you rap your fists against them
Let the sun become hollow
Let the heat from it wash down madly
And let me have a minute of your time

Stop the flood from rushing through its usual motions
Let the rudder lie still
Let the water eat though it
Let its color darken as the day grows older
Let the light break on the water like a bottle on the sidewalk
Let it break against the edges of all everything
And let me have a minute of your time

Watch the current switch direction
Watch the lines there in the center twist and turn
Look back toward the shore where it was a while ago
You know, I can't see it either, can you?
Give me that much at least
That it is far beyond our reach
That it has disappeared from view
And let me have a minute of your time
John Darnielle May 2020
There was a twinkle in my eye
As we watched the fish swim by
We saw the water going in and out
And you knew what I was thinking about

We watched the water
We looked right through it
And I let my hand rest a minute on your stomach
Like there was nothing to it

Three of them hiding behind a rock
And I got too nervous to talk
With your wondrous form all stretched out
Right next to me as the fish swam about

We watched the water
We looked right through it
And I let my hand rest a minute on your stomach
Like there was nothing to it

The room heated up, the windows were closed
We heard the humming of the air hose
That ran into the tank and the fish swam in place
And I fixed my eyes on your beautiful face

We watched the water
We looked right through it
And I let my hand rest a minute on your stomach
Like there was nothing to it
John Darnielle May 2020
Test a rope against the ceiling beams
I just want to live on in your dreams
Crush a vial into a *** of tea
I just want you to remember me

But I pour out the *** and I work out the knot
'Cause I know that it won't make you stay
And I'll be ****** if I can't come up with some other way
Some other way
Some other way to make you love me

Seal the doors and turn the pilot on
I just know you'll miss me when I'm gone
Drive a fist into a window pane
There are things a letter won't explain

But I pick out the glass and I shut off the gas
And I look to the oncoming day
I'll be ****** if I can't come up with some other way
Some other way
Some other way
Some other way to make you love me
To make you love me
To make you love me
To make you love me
To make you love me
May 2020 · 101
02-75 (Unreleased)
John Darnielle May 2020
I got your letter
And I read what it said
And I blushed with recognition
At every word you said
And you are my best friend
And I have always known you

I dreamed of your house
And I looked around
And I saw the real rain, real power rolling down
And you, you are my best friend
And I, I have always known you
02-75 was the number of my girlfriend's (now wife) P.O. box when we were long distance.
John Darnielle May 2020
Black mollies in the aquarium
Darting back and forth as though an earthquake were certain
And I turned up the heater
And I ripped off my shirt
And I grabbed hold of my stereo
And I threw it out the window
You were in town again
You'd come around again
You were dragging me down again
With you  

Siamese fighting fish flashing like sparklers
It started to rain
And the telephone rang a couple of times
I put a bullet through its cold dead brain
And I got out my photographs of you
And I put bullets though all of them too
You were in town again
You'd come around again
You were dragging me down again
With you
John Darnielle May 2020
You come around here when the lights are down low
And you hang around for six or seven hours and then you get ready to go
Well I remember when you used to kiss me without me asking you to
Yeah I remember when you used to

When I lean toward to you, you turn away
It's a quarter past one A.M. on a warm Saturday
That's alright, that's alright, I hear you
Don't do anything you don't wanna do
But I remember when you used to kiss me without me asking you to
Yeah I remember when you used to
John Darnielle May 2020
The sun came out this morning, I was wide awake
I stumbled on down to the kitchen and I cut myself a piece of my birthday cake
With raspberry filling in the middle
I thought about you a little
And there was a time when you wanted me so bad
It was eating you up inside
But this time has gone away

I poured myself a tall glass of milk, it was deep and cold
And I checked my driver's license, I was 28 years old
And there was a time when you wanted me so bad
It was eating you up inside
But this time has gone away
May 2020 · 112
Carmen Cicero (Unreleased)
John Darnielle May 2020
There's power in the name
But the name's been lost for centuries
There's poison in the water
But the water tastes like honey
And we're so thirsty we don't care where we wake up tomorrow
We don't care, the question can hardly hold our attention

And this is a song for your young men to sing when they run out of options
Yeah, when they run out of options

There's the faith you can give or withhold
And then there's the one true faith
There's the revolution you came for
And the one you're eventually going to get
And there's a road that starts right here and leads clear up to Saskatchewan
And I brought a full tank and a '67 Mustang

And this is a song for your young women to whistle
While they're driving at high speeds down the highway

There's wind up in the trees
There's a song on the wind
There's a message in the song
But the message is hopelessly complicated
And the words are written on water
And they disappear before you write them down
But I, I brought the Polaroid

And this the song
And everyone's got sing along
But it hasn't got a chorus
******* it all

Yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah
Yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah
Yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah
Hey hey, la la la la
John Darnielle May 2020
Stood near the cage of the prize-fighting ****
The sun cut through the clouds but the air pressure dropped
And I touched your hair for the very first time
I have that moment with me now, it's all mine
And you showed me a thing or two about power
In its purest form

A few minutes later, you went back inside
And I stood near the clothesline where strips of beef dried
Hanging in the noon-day sun
Flies were buzzing nearby
And then your face in the window caught my eye
And you showed me a thing or two about power
In its purest form

Things don't look much different now from where I stand
Looking for you, camera in hand
Someone's gone away and someone's gotten taller
But the world stopped turning and the universe is much smaller
Since you showed me a thing or two about power
In its purest form
Yeah you showed me a thing or two about power
In its purest form
John Darnielle May 2020
It was raining outside, so I cleaned house today
Spent half of the morning throwing old things away
Try not to get caught up
Try to think like a machine
Focus in on the task
Try not to think about what it means

Can't get you
Out of my head
Lost without you
Half dead

Took my spot at the window
Looked at the road
Dots and dashes of traffic
Like a message in code

And whole boxes of memories
Wrapped up at the curb
I sang songs to myself
Didn't have any words

Can't get you
Out of my head
Lost without you
Half dead

Stole out to the back yard late last night
Pine trees frozen in the silvery moonlight
Rising like giants from the cold earth
What are the years we gave each other
Ever gonna be worth?

Can't get you
Out of my head
Lost without you
Half dead
John Darnielle May 2020
This song is for the rats
Who hurled themselves in to the ocean
When they saw that the explosives in the cargo hold
Were just about to blow

This song is for the soil
That's toxic clear down to the bedrock
Where no thing of consequence can grow
Drop your seeds there
Let them go

Let them all go
Let 'em all go

This song is for the people
Who tell their families that they're sorry
For things they can't and won't feel sorry for

And once there was a desk
And now it's in a storage locker somewhere
And this song is for the stick pins and the cottons
I left in the top drawer

Let 'em all go
Let 'em all go

I wanna sing one for the cars
That are right now headed silent down the highway
And it's dark and there is nobody driving
And something has got to give

I saw you waiting by the roadside
You didn't know that I was watching
Now you know
Let it all go

Let 'em all go
Let it all go
John Darnielle May 2020
we live high, our love gorges on the alcohol we feed it.
and it grows all fat and friendly
we have surplus if we need it.
we hold on as hard as we can.
our knuckles are white.
we write letters to each other, invent secrets to confess to.
I learn foreign and exotic terms of endearment by which to address you.
we feed fresh fruit to one another.
we stay up all night.
I am healthy, I am whole, but I have poor impulse control.
and I want to go home.
but I am home.

we are strong, we are faithful,
we are guardians of a rare thing.
we pay close careful attention to the news the morning air brings.
we show great loyalty to the hard times we've been through.
we are filled with riches and wonders,
our love keeps the things it finds.
and we dance like drunken sailors, lost at sea out of our minds.
you find shelter somewhere in me,
I find great comfort in you.
and I keep you safe from harm.
you hold me in your arms, and I want to go home.
but I am home
John Darnielle May 2020
The cabbages that I will grow
One by one and row on row
Will fatten in the spring sun
And breathe in the evening air

And you will hear them breathing
If you walk by at night
You may not hear them after all
But that's all right

I've set the table for two
I've cleaned the windows for you
I've got cinnamon from Jakarta
For making French toast
The doctor says that I've got
Thirty days left at most

The cabbages that I will grow
The love songs on the radio
Will deepen in the springtime
They'll be brighter than the stars
John Darnielle May 2020
In the holding tank I built for myself it's feeding time
And I start to feel afraid 'cause I'm the last one left in line
The endless string of summer storms that led me to today
Began one afternoon with you long ago and faraway
And someone leads the beast in on its chain
But I know you're thinking of me 'cause it's just about to rain

So I won't be afraid of anything ever again

In the cell that holds my body back the door swings wide
And I feel like someone's lost child as the guards lead me outside
And if the clouds are gathering, it's just to point the way
To an afternoon I spent with you when it rained all day
And someone leads the beast in on its chain
But I know you're thinking of me 'cause it's just about to rain

So I won't be afraid of anything ever again
John Darnielle May 2020
Crude little wooden idols
And aviator shades
The trinkets and the treasures we
brought back from the Crusades
Some guy in an Impala shakes his
head when he rides by
But I remember when we shared
a vision, you and I

Worked hard to build this altar
We made it earn its keep
The cracks across its surface
spiderweb while we're asleep
The sacrificial stains all
spreading out and soaking through
But I remember when
we kept it pretty, me and you

And high above the water
The eagle spots the fish
Every martyr in this jungle
Is gonna get his wish

Stock shots stupid stock shots
From the Pomona mall
Set up like unloved icons
gathering dust up on the wall
From films no one remembers
They call down silently
But I remember when their names
were dear to you and me
Yeah

Pennies on the dollar
Everything's gotta go
The things that we
can't even give away
I don't wanna know
Try to see if secrets burn when
you hold them up into the light
I remember when we loved
each other day and night

And high above the water
The eagle spots the fish
Every martyr in this jungle
Is gonna get his wish
John Darnielle May 2020
lob some spit at the window
watch it run down the pane
it's only the guilty
who concern themselves
with clearing their names

you bring tidings of hope,
false tidings
when you come here
there's two friends who did me wrong
that you're protecting
it's so clear

and when you speak it's those two
who speak through you
who'll speak for me?
the burning and the electricity

sun goes down San Francisco
friends are hard to find
chew them up just as quick
as I can find them
try to clear my mind

remember hours at the table
gauze flight light easing through
if there's one thing
that I'm not going to do tonight
it's die for you

'cause when you speak it's those two
who speak through you
who'll speak for me
the burning and the electricity
John Darnielle May 2020
down here where the heat's so fine
I'll drink to your health and you drink to mine
as we try to make the money we scored out in Vegas
hold out for a while
we drink ***** from Russia
we get our chocolates from Belgium
we have our strawberries flown in from England.
yeah but none of the money we spend
seems to do us much good in the end.
I've got a cracked engine block, both of us do.
yeah the house and the jewels, the Italian race car
they don't make us feel better about who we are.
I've got termites in the framework, so do you.

down here where the watermelon grows so sweet
where I worship the ground underneath of your feet,
we are experts in the art of frivolous spending.  
and it's gone on like this, for 3 years I guess
and we're drunk all the time and our lives are a mess.
and the deathless love we swore to protect with our bodies
is stumbling across its bleak ending.  
but none of the rage in our eyes seems to finish it off where it lies.
I got sugar in the fuel lines, both of us do.
yeah the fights and the lies that we both love to tell
fail to send our love to its reward down in hell
I got pudding for a backbone, so do you!
la la la la.
hey hey!
John Darnielle May 2020
I went down the road today
Just in the old way
And a black dog hobbled past me
His tags jangled on his collar
It made me wish I was dead
It made me wish I was dead

And a familiar sun on me
Just like it would always be
Rocky soil, dry land
I knew it all like the back of my hand
It made me wish I was dead
It made me wish I was dead

Terrific view from here
Sky's clear
Sun's high
I let things lie
And I know what is and isn't mine
And it was good to get back to the sunshine
But five years is a long time
And I spent five years in Sweden dying for you
I spent five years in Sweden dying for you
John Darnielle May 2020
Let the stars come out, and the moon shine bright
We're sleeping on the porch tonight
Wind blew all the power lines down
Watch where you step if you go walking around

This may be the night
Our bodies fill with light
And we may hover above
The surface of
Our warm, lonely planet

Let cooling rains come, let them fall
Let the grass grow strong and tall
Let the dandelions breed
Give me what you know I need

This may be the night
Our bodies fill with light
And we may hover above
The surface of
Our warm, lonely planet
John Darnielle May 2020
'36 hudson in the garage,
all sorts of junk in the unattached spare room,
dishes in the kitchen sink,
new straw for the old broom,
friends who dont have a clue,
well meaning teachers,
but down in your arms,
in your arms, I am a wild creature.

floor two foot high with newspapers,
white carpet thick with pet hair,
half eaten gallons of ice cream in the freezer,
fresh fuel for the sodium flares,
I write down good reasons to freeze to death
in my spiral ring notebook,
but in the long tresses of your hair
I am a babbling brook.
John Darnielle May 2020
I saw the darkness coming down
It posed no threat to me
I let the darkness ease its way around
It was every good thing I'd expected it would be
I saw you coming
Through the twisting vines outside
I saw the new moon collide
With the stars clustered around her

I saw the young fruit on the new lime
I felt your breath catch its rhythm
I heard your legs push away the tall dry brush
I saw the moon and the stars
And knew the secrets within them
I heard you saying my name into my ear
No one has to tell me why you've come here
'Cause I know
I know
I know
John Darnielle May 2020
Here come the times of changing tide
Here come the days of light and grace
Here come the hours of wordless wondrousness
Light, light will fill this humble place

When you come the stars will shine brighter than spun gold
When you come the world will seem shiny and new
My mom told me that someday someone like you would come to set things right
'Til you come I'll keep this place ready for you

I saw them riding up the road
And I swept and scrubbed the stable twice
Filled it with golden yellow straw, sweet and clean
I did my best to make things nice

When you come the stars will shine brighter than spun gold
When you come the world will seem shiny and new
My mom told me that someday someone like you would come to set things right
Until you come I'll keep this place ready for you
John Darnielle May 2020
The lights are on in your room so tell me
Who's your friend?
And the lights are burning in the little house on east end
And I remembered who I was
And what I came here for
The moon was caught high in the branches of the sycamore

And on my neck I felt the cold wind
And it licked around my ears and it asked me to ask you, yeah
Who's your friend?
And the lights came down over Pomona, blazed again before your front door
The moon was caught high in the branches of the sycamore
John Darnielle May 2020
when you come, if you come
make sure you bring some bubble gum.
and a great big bottle of cheap gin, yeah
don't bother knocking, you can just waltz right in.

when you come, if you do come by
make sure you wear your skirt real high.
there's cracked ice in the freezer
and glasses in the sink
you can lie down on the sofa, and I'll fix us both a drink.
and we will teach ourselves to pray in languages
that we don't really speak.
and we will lie about the way it used to be.

when you come, if you come
bring a couple of coconuts and i'll supply the ***.
and i will dim the lights, pull all the drapes
throw in those near forgotten video tapes.
yeah when you come, if you make it out this far
you better leave your pride out in the car.
and you wanna make sure that you bring along some means for forgetting where it was that we went wrong.
and we will teach ourselves to pray in languages
that we don't really speak.
and we will lie about the way it used to be.
John Darnielle May 2020
I've been living hand-to-mouth for a year or better
When the mailman comes and he gives me your letter
And I recognize the handwriting even now
But I go ahead and open it anyhow, yeah
No one's been buying from my roadside stand and I
Hold your letter like a cross in my hand
I'm gonna wrap up my troubles
I'm gonna wrap up my troubles
I am gonna wrap up my troubles
In you

I went out into the kitchen
Where the light comes through the four-paneled window
Clean and bright
And it's taken me this long to realize
How much I like the way that you dot your "i"s
I was born in Indiana thirty years ago
I got a mean, cruel hunger down below
And I'm gonna wrap up my troubles
I am gonna wrap up my troubles
I'm gonna wrap up all my troubles
In you
May 2020 · 62
Oslo 1888 (Unreleased)
John Darnielle May 2020
The snow built up around the smokehouse
And the sun shone on the snow
And the sun's rays were blistering against my eyes
The long night was well on its way
So I made good use of what was left of the daylight
Walking out toward the main street
And coming back home again
Sleeping, I sang a short song about you
And I knew every word of that song was true
Well, almost every word

Ice froze the green stems of the daffodils
Ice formed carrots on my window sill
I was blistering, blazing away
And it had always been my tendency to let things slide
But I went to the window with my eyes open wide
And you were taking on perspective
Coming toward the door
You want some more
I've got some more for you
I've got just what you're looking for
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