stuck in the past
but the past doesn't want me
thinking of you
its no surprise that i'm lonely
i need to find a way out
but i can't breathe
and i keep stumbling back
on our memories
you've moved on long ago
and i rolled on too
seems now that he is gone
my mind wanders to you
but its been 5 years
and i haven't heard from you
its pathetic
that your face keeps coming into view
i need to run
and seek the future round the corner
cause thinking bout the past
is my old self, its the former
and its only cause i'm alone
yes, i'm a loner
that you drift here
you should stay a goner.

the way the light brushes the white of a wall
at mid day when the sun is highest
and the smell of your home most familiar
the way he accepts my palm unyielding
stiff backed, and expectant
not wavering or wincing backward
soft furr tousled, and shiny grey in the
fingers of light through the window
the way your pillows feel in the morning
arms escapsule the cushiony fluff
and the scent of last nights smiles
the silence of your own space
serenity in the quiet against the warmth of your own skin
reminiscing along with swirling cloud like
memories while you watch your cat snooze
serenly on a windowsill..

It's funny how you meet someone
And suddenly
You like blondes.
I never used to like blondes.
Not particularly.
And suddenly,
I just do.
It's funny
How the imprints of certain souls just
Stay
With you,
Behind your eyes.
How they color the world.
As if the thought
Just bends you toward a stranger
Just the thought
That they look or sound
Or move
Like somebody else,
Somebody
Special.
Why special?
Why her?
Why any of them?
And yet
Even as I try to look elsewhere...
Suddenly
I like blondes.

because baby you're a landslide
because darling you're a forest fire
because you're posion my dear
after all you've done damage i hear..

because starlet you don't shine
because beau you aren't mine
because honey you aren't for me
after all you aren't my cup of tea..

because sweetie i don't need you
because hon you don't complete me
because i don't believe you baby
after all you've lied compeltely..

Oh, the people I've lost by being sincere.
So many, and I'm afraid you'll all march through my head
Every night till the day I die,
Always leaving,
Never giving a reason.
I am a reason.
This skin, these bones, a reason. I was born
A reason
To leave
And so the people I trust give none-
They need none.
Why?
Why runs through my veins with the blood.
Every look I give
Is why
Every word I speak
Is why
And why
Explain?
Why consider
When you can just
Quit?
I am the reason
And I carry that,
And I carry every time you said I wasn't.
(Until
You showed
I
Was.)

The voice
Of a broken heart
Can ring loudly
For years
Wrecking even
The hope
Of repairing
Shattered dreams.
Though it's hard
And at night sometimes
So easy to hear
The sound of
A lost loves heart
Beating so clear.
The deafening silence
Allows the tears
And for years
You may sit
silently still.
We will mask ourselves
And cover the scars.
But no matter what
We may think
We are not
A lost cause.
So let your heart
Beat again
Let the sound
Drowned out
The screaming of
A broken heart
Because it's not broken
It's just gained another
Beautiful scar.