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I stay up sometimes
Not because im not tired
But to break patterns
To protect my energy
To seperate myself of leeches
Disguised as everything
All of us have ever wanted
To keep me immune
To prevent myself from inhaling toxicity
Im willing to watch what happens next
 Dec 2017 Dave Cortel
atlast
Leaf
 Dec 2017 Dave Cortel
atlast
We change and we fall,
We change when it’s fall, brown, red
Crumpled and stepped on.
 Dec 2017 Dave Cortel
Jasmine
These low income kids need more motivation
My teachers don’t know the problems we are facing
I am not a rich privledged girl
I am a chicana, raised in the ghetto type of girl

Let me take you inside of my world
Just next to my house is where the gangsters meet
If you say something wrong
They’re quick to leave you dead in the street
Graffiti and gang signs is all you see on the walls
If you take a walk and hear shots
You wouldn’t want to be in deep

Cops can stop you just because they can
People like us, do you really think they give a ****?
My brother is always getting stopped by a white man
They tell him “Put your hands over your head”
Any sudden movement and he is for sure dead

In the night the guns are pulled
Gang enemies coming over
Looking for problems up to no good
The street rules are in place like it would
Gun shots and sirens are playing in the background of my hood

Poverty makes times even more rough
I didn’t get new kicks for Christmas
I guess it’s just my luck
I have faith in God that I will get out of being stuck
I have decided I have had enough...
 Dec 2017 Dave Cortel
Iska
They say that death is quiet. That it comes so fast and sudden that it is a surprise to the world. Because the world keeps going, as if it never happened.

I disagree. I have never known a silent death in my life. For me, death is so loud, that it deafens me. Until all I hear is ringing and muffled sounds. Like a bomb just went off, and in a way, I guess it had. The world moves to a slow motion until it is measured by nothing but a heart beat, and even that will stop eventually. Until your breath gives out and your knees crumple before you. "Its beautiful" they say, "the way that life and death entwines in an eternal dance." Yes. This is beautiful, me lying here beside you as you struggle for life, fighting to keep your heart beating. I watch as fear consumes you, you don't want to die, that much is plain to see, because you think your too young. Well let me inform you of something. You will ALWAYS be too young. It will never be enough because you don't know what happens next. For some it is a relief, they hope that this is it, the end of the line. That they cease to exist. Those are the ones who live life they way the want to. Or their are those of you who dread and fear it. Believing that God is waiting on the other side. Those are the ones who live their lives doing good, trying to make it to heaven. And then their are those of you who push it aside. Who hide from the fact that one day your hear, then gone the next. You are the ones who live in mediocre boredom forever chained down by your fear, as you waste away inside of these four paper walls, in front of the screen of some form.

I am here to remind you that I exist. I am death. I am release to some and horror to others. And I am here to tell you that your time is fast approaching. I may be at your doorstep right now, or I may be waiting on the sidelines for years to come. But I am here. And one day you will find me beside you, embracing you as you fight to keep your fire burning. You may evade me once or twice but you will see me one day. And I shall ask you this, have you lived as you wanted to live? Or have you squandered away your days? Will you be remembered? And if so how? Will people laugh and say "you won't be missed" or will they wail and pull at their hair, gnashing their teeth as they cry for their loss? Are you loved or hated?  if you are loved, you shall not be forgotten, and that is the immortality you are all seeking, just as my immortality is here, among the words I write. Who knows? By the time your reading this, maybe I have passed to. Because even death is not immortal.
Niets in mijn leven gaat goed
Maar ja,
Daar is ook weer een soort rust in
Want ja,
Het gaat dus nooit echt goed.

Dus als je het je afvraagt:
Niets gaat ooit echt goed
Een antwoord waar je het maar mee doet
What do you use to help you cope?
What means of happiness help you escape from this world or this reality?
You use it so much does it still feel the same?
You feel relief but do you feel content?
Can it be something conventional like ***, extravagance, drugs, alcohol?
Or can it be something unusual like self harm, blades, toxic thinking, or blood running down your skin?
Does it help to get rid of it or block what bother you?
Or does it hurt and over power whatever is making you feel bad?
Maybe it just make you numb?
Sometimes it's temporary but is it wrong or misuse?
A lot of the times it's permanent but if it keep your demons at bay does it count as abuse?
We all need something to help us cope with this life
We all need something to make us feel right
A bitter cold night to close out the year;
come sit here near the fire by me.
I have here a fine brandy
that was aged eighteen years,
but that never another will see.

So hold out your glass and I’ll give you a splash
to warm you and loosen your tongue.
Then we’ll each tell tall tales
Of our reprobate youth
And the disreputable things we had done.

We’ll remember with tears those we’ve lost this past year
Those who loved us despite what we’d done.
The Father who sacrificed all for his boys;
the Mother who lived for her sons.

A bitter cold night to close out the year;
I’m warmed by the fire’s soft glow.
If I shed a tear at the close of the year,
I pray don’t let anyone know.
"Thinking of those who have gone before us, two in particular
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