Because it's hard to say i love you
I'll say you're crazy.
And that you should throw yourself away.
I'll say you're annoying and difficult
And i don't know why i talk to you.
Because it's hard to say i love you
I'll say every other thing but
the three words i need to say the most.

Because it's hard to say i love you
I'll argue with you day and night
because i don't want to stop talking to you
I'll overreact and act dumb
over the little things because
I love in unhealthy ways.
And because it's hard to say i love you
I'll wait for you to say it first.
Because patriarchy
and die inside everyday that you don't
Say the words i need to hear the most.

Because it's hard to say i love you
You'll stand me up on our first date
and then ask me if i want to be your bae
I'll say yes after five days
Because i really want to play it cool.
And not make you think i actually love you.
I'll give you all the benefits
And you'll perform none of the responsibilities.
I'll let you off the hook each and every time
You decide we're getting too serious.
Because it's hard to say i love you


I'll love you silently and destructively
Our love will tear me down and
burn my personality to the ground
And by the time you leave all I'll be is an empty shell.
Hollow and dark on the inside
Because i can't say that i love you
I'll **** myself on the inside.


Or i could tell you that i love you
I know you will run because I've scared you; because you know, patriarchy.
But at least I'll live to love another boy
And live to appreciate another day
At least i won't **** myself over you
Even though I'm pining over you.
Maybe you might even say you love me too, because ***** patriarchy!
And you thought that i didn't love you
Because it's hard to say i love you.

To stop it all
from happening,
just
stop
thinking!

.
in
her
eyes
there is a
butterfly on
fire flickering
from her
lies

.
In
her iris
it spreads like
virus fluttering
as it slowly
dies

.
in
the
white
of the yoke
tears now soak
her wings and
her cries
.

each day I try to play a role
in our society

to mimic an image
of what I think they want to see

but deep down
I am savage
I am wild
my soul has teeth

and time and time again
I try to hide that side of me

how could I ever find someone
to love me as a whole

the monsters in my mind
and the maelstrom of my soul?

through all my doubt
I dare to hope
to meet the one someday

who sees the demons in my eyes
and does not look away