One more drink is way too many
Life is so dense and heavy
With heartbreaks and I've had plenty
Love is not a crazy little thing
It's a massive wild creature
That wails and moans and sings
And I'm on the track as a feature
Just a small pawn in the game
In fact so much so
That you won't remember my name
Or so I claim to know

You give me peace of mind
I give you a piece of my heart
Searching only to find
That this is just the start
Of something more
Or maybe it ends in disappointment
Feeling like we're meant for more
Some special soul anointed
To spread something we don't know
Something lost on this world
But there must be room to grow
A small yet significant pearl
Of the wealth of greater beings
And it's impossible to explain
What I am sitting here seeing
Through all my pride and pain
I'm always cut back down
By repercussions of my actions
I crash back to the ground
Surrounded by distractions
Can't see through the mist
Can't hear through the static
Feeling the sweet kiss
Finding love is automatic

I miss you so much
Even though you're still here
But we're out of touch
And I'm caught up in this fear
That one day you'll walk away
When all I want is for you to stay
Soulmates destined to be apart
And it will always break my heart
That I never really had you
The one person that made me new

Stumble in at 3AM
I'm drunk again
Kick shoes off at the door
Drop my keys on the floor
Fumble for the lights
Man I miss Friday nights
Crashing on the couch in my clothes
Being somebody that no one knows

I hope you hate me as much as I do
Maybe that's why I go through what I go through
The decisions I make
And the chances I take
All excuses to push away
The love that I want to stay
But I am undeserving
My fear is unnerving
I desire to build
But I only destroy
My dreams are all killed
By my own selfish ploy

I stand on the open porch
Out in the winter cold
My cigarette is my torch
Though they're making me old

My soul has been there for awhile
I hope my body never meets it
I want to go out in my own style
I hope my old age never greets it

That's if I reach old age
I guess I hope to do so
See life in a new stage
And help others learn and grow

Tight pants and baggy shirts
I haven't eaten yet today
Right now my stomach hurts
Smoke later and I'll be okay

I have this obsession
With being sickly thin
Caused by my depression
I hate the shape I'm in

I'm already so skinny
So there isn't any logic
You probably wouldn't pin me
For someone who cannot stop it

My mind hates my body
My soul hates my mind
My mind tries to rob me
My soul leaves me blind

So I wage this war daily
Until one of them fails me
For now I let my ribs show
Like feelings you'll never know

And this isn't some kind of joke
Or some sad poetic fiction
I live off cigarettes and Coke
Struggling with this odd addiction