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Jack Ghaven Dec 2014
Peace is never mine to keep
I find no solace in sleep
I wake and I want to weep

For no dreams come to me
No visions of beauty
Darkness is all I see

For me there is no rest
Struggle to be my best
With my heart torn from chest
Trying to put words to how I feel lately has been a struggle.  This feels choppy, but so have my feelings lately.  Let me know what you think!
Jack Ghaven Dec 2014
My mind is frayed
Making me miss the days
I used to self-medicate
Didn't have to hesitate

Those days are far away
Sobriety making a lengthy stay
And it makes me manic
Paralyzed in an unending panic

Honestly I feel like ****
Calm and composed for a bit
Then hopelessly falling
Substances are calling

And it's ****** up
That I'm stuck up
Left confused and alone
Not to mention dangerously prone

To hatred and deprivation
Brutalized on the verge of starvation
I'm on a downward streak
Feeling more and more weak

So my pen bleeds words
That no one has ever heard
Been away from the pen and pad for a while.  Trying to get back into the habit of releasing through writing.  Sobriety ***** and the pen often provides escape.
Jack Ghaven Nov 2014
Save me from sleeping
Save me from nightmares
Show me love worth keeping
Show me a heart that truly cares
Stay and keep me up all night
Stay and keep me craving
Share in this fight
Share a life worth saving
About someone. Not sure who. Haven't quite found her yet.
  Nov 2014 Jack Ghaven
kaye
i've tried making poetry
spinning silk from cobwebs
sitting in the corners of my mind
trying to sew them
into sweaters that smell like you
so i could sleep at night

ever since i met you
i've been swallowing ball point pens
so i could spit out poems
everytime you cut me open.

there's ink in my veins
and i can't get them out
i can't quit this now, it's too late,
i've become addicted to your mouth

i painted my cheeks red;
you painted it black and blue
you turned me into art right?
i don't understand
why they kept telling me to leave you.

you tell me you don't love me,
and i keep saying i don't care.
i've felt it in your kisses
there's never been a spark in the air

you ask me why
and i tell you:
you're my favorite kind of pain.
not to be cliche, but i'd like to die
whispering your name.

my friends say i'm a fool,
"if it's an addiction, then quit"
but honesty is the best poetry,
and i'm getting pretty good at it.
Jack Ghaven Nov 2014
On the brink of mental collapse
And I wish that I would
Or that I could just relapse
Back to a mask and a hood
A smoke filled mind
Apathy as perfection
Leaving the rest behind
Cleaned out like an infection
Washed away with relief
My wounds are stinging
As I sill hold some belief
That somewhere bells are ringing
Though I have forgotten why
I continue to ponder
Or even continue to try
As back into darkness I wander
To search for happiness unknown
Or contentedness I've never been shown
Just a short poem that kind of portrays my mind as a struggle through sobriety and depression.
Jack Ghaven Nov 2014
My mental health
Is far from sane
Books on the shelf
For days of rain
But I lose track of days
Caught up in the haze
Of the days that I miss
Far from my old bliss
Filling my days with pain
And so I sit in the rain
Waiting for puddles to grow
Into mirrors with my reflection
But even as I stare I'll never know
The reason for my mind's infection
Wishing puddles were lakes
So I could jump in and drown
Escape all the heartaches
See no sights and hear no sound
But the music in my head
Softly, sweetly pronouncing me dead
Rain tends to be a fixation for me for some reason or another.  I think it's because it can be used to portray so many different emotions and feelings.
Jack Ghaven Nov 2014
I don't
love you
anymore.

But don't
take it
so hard.

Simply
put I
don't love
at all
anymore.
Just a quick piece I kind of penned in my head at work.
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