I stare at you,
you stare at me -
silence.
we cannot go back
to that moment,
that moment when
it was shattered
and broken and all
was lost.
you buried the memory
will bottles and I
buried it with counting
to 8 over and over,
rubbing my fingers together
until they were red and
raw.
I see you swallow, start
to say something, and pause.
what is going on in your fractured mind?
I want to scream, and cry,
and fall to the ground and
weep, but I turn away and
walk back into the darkness.

A Boys Tale
Little boy with a train,
hiding from all the pain.
Daddy left, when he was five,
he took a very long drive.
Left mommy all alone,
how could someone disown.
Mommy got very stressed
not to mention very depressed.
Started popping many pills,
stopped paying all the bills.
The boy is the age of eight,
mommy goes out, comes home late.
Boy cries day and night,
in school, always in a fight.
Hasn't bathed in a week,
this boy is starting to reek.
Teacher finally called the mom,
your son is one stink bomb.
Moms condition is getting worse,
the teacher, she did curse.
Now mom is smoking crack,
on her son, she turned her back.
Social services, stepped right in,
in this tale, nobody will win.

My eyes cry out dead flowers.
Each petal is wet on the cold ground,
laying there oh so very proud.
I could stare at them for hours.

There is beauty in rotting things
Can't you see?
There is beauty in old meanings
Even if they make you bleed.

Rhythm is what brings my senses back to life.
Heart beats
Tapping pens
Clicking of shoes

But somehow I was lost in all of it when heart beats turned into a cry for life and emotion
Tapping pens became my desperation to think of something to say when nothing could be said
And the clicking of shoes is the sound of me walking away from everything I thought would make me happy.

So let's all raise our glasses for new rhythms
New beginnings
More endings
Better heart breaks
And more pathetic lies to tell ourselves

Today I told a doctor that time heals all wounds
he said no that’s aspirin
and if  you have have allergies
you’ll need epinephrine

Today I told a priest that time heals all wounds
he said no that’s God
also prayer and hope wouldn’t hurt
if I was no fraud

Today I told a psychic that time heals all wounds
he said to get a reading and I’d be fine
and he’d throw in a magic ball
for only $9.99!

Today I told myself that time heals all wounds
as I looked in the mirror staring my body down
It better I whispered
because in this pain I soon will drown

Honey, pay attention
I've been craving your affection

I've been deprived of you
for too long it's true

I'm going mad without your touch
a simple kiss would mean so much

I know the fun you get from teasing
but just this once, let's skip to pleasing

*s.mndi