today when i woke up i was frightened.
i tried to walk straight even though i felt hollow inside.
and although he wasn't here, he was still on my mind in the strangest of ways.

i thought of him and how he likes to buy things.
sometimes, and for a reason i'm still unsure of,
i mind what he buys.
say, for example, if it's for me i mind.
if it's for himself, i do not.

i thought of his old shoes and how he has yet to part with them.
i wonder why he buys things he doesn't necessarily need but only wants and refuses to buy things he does needs but doesn't want.
i wonder if people looking at his old shoes could make the same observation.
i thought for a moment but decided it didn't matter,
he loves his old shoes.

sometimes i think of "us" and how he looks at me as though i'm something really nice.
i think,
maybe,
i am old shoes, too.
i know he doesn't need me but maybe it is enough for him that he wants me.
if he neglects the things he needs and only goes after the things that he wants then maybe i'm not so bad after all.
perhaps i, too, am i pair of old shoes.
perhaps it will also be hard for him to part with me.

i wonder if others could also make this observation.