"You aren't passionate about anything, but once you are you'll know how to love me" He said.

How could he not see that he was my passion and that every time I looked him in the eyes my soul painted a mural of our moments.

How will I explain to Cleopatra and Helen that I've let them down.

How will I tell them that I fell for empty promises and compromised my crown.

They told me Kingdoms crumble for queens.

But they never told me I'd lose my king.

Open space, closed thoughts
It's getting easier to forget what's lost

Beautiful views, fresh air
Hasn't crossed my mind that you're not there

Vast oceans, sea breeze
Letting go seems to be an ease

It's so simple when you're out of sight and mind
I wish it could be like this all the time

My head was so far in the clouds I forgot to look down.
               But my dream is over, it's time to come back now.

There's many walls and it's hard to escape

So many...and so easy to make

You pass one and then you keep seeing more

What are you even doing this for?

You finally realized there's no point in getting lost here, it's not worth it... There's more out there.

I'd always thought I knew myself quite well.

I knew my likes and dislikes and all my scars that have healed from the times I'd fell.

But you came along and quickly I learned that I had been wrong.

I thought I liked Van Gogh and violins but your smile was my favorite painting and your laugh was my favorite song.

Even if I've lost you, you've helped me to see...that I'm happy I found a part of you in me.

I'm thousands of feet in the air, and I'm focused on this single tear.

I wish my eyes could shower but I'm at a stand still going 400mph.

It's hard to feel these days when I long only for your touch, but I know that's asking for too much.

The more love he showered me with the more afraid I was that he'd rinse me of my shield.

And in fact he did, he cleansed away so much of me that I began to pour...

I was open, all of me had flown out into him, I didn't even realize he was drowning.

I don't know what we are, but I know what we aren't.

We aren't the type to go against the current.

In this moment I don't know if you want me here.

I wish you would tell me and save the despair.

My fear was never being alone, it was being in bad company...with someone who's luke warm and doesn't want me.

Maybe if we had taken it slower
You would have had more time to know her

Maybe you would have handled things better
And when she was being herself you'd let her

Maybe you would have saved her all the pain
Thinking about something other than your name

So in the future if you're not ready leave her be
Because before you she was happy

Maybe it's the way our hands coil, like the phone cord of a teenage girl talking to her first crush.

Or is it how our bodies mesh together so well like a flawlessly placed puzzle piece.

Your name keeps replaying in my head, I just don't understand.

If I'm not made for you then why does my heart tell me that I am?

Whenever I start to feel like I'm in control...my heart reminds me that I'm not.

You'll never know what I knew
Like my new found appreciation for only your tattoos

You'll never see what I've seen
like how the halo of your eyes are the same color as me

You'll never feel what I felt
How the warmth of your embarrass causes me to melt

You'll never hear what I've heard
The echoes from your laugh and the passion in your murmurs  

You'll never cry the way I've cried
From the pits of my stomach, the burning inside when you said goodbye

You are waning and I am waxing
You are nino and I was nina
I am a smile and you are a frown
Your going up and I'm going down

When did we change direction?

we were an equal sign
we were a kiss
we were a lit match

and now our paths diverge

You're unsure and I am too.
How will this all end, will I still love you?
Will you be there when it's hard, how can I trust you.
I have everything to lose I have so much to prove.
We've done a lot of things wrong, but we can fix them if we go along.

I love you

You picked me like a flower you felt you owned.

You enjoyed my beauty, and all the happiness I showed.

The thing is, you fell in love my flowers and not my roots.

And once again I'm the one left to replant my seeds.

Calm
Optimistic
Radiant
...Tempting

Would have given you the world...but you can only handle the good not the bad.

I never feel compelled to write when things are well.

Only when I'm being dragged though hell.

The fights and tears...we're always clashing.

The kisses and love...I'd rather have passion .

One day you'll love yourself like I loved you,
I wish I could wait for that but I refuse.

My mind is able to signal my body to do anything I want it to.

I can move my feet, wiggle my toes and touch my nose.

I can hear sounds, remember lyrics and recognize tones.

...I wish my heart was more like my mind. I tell it to stop loving you, but it never listens.

People break up.
Sometimes things get broken.

You were close to a break through,
But you got to your breaking point first.

The beauty of writing is that it's honest.
Even if it's fiction and all made up... It comes from a special part of you where you're letting out something real.

And even if you can never tell anyone how you really feel...it doesn't matter because who knows you better than you? Writing it down is acceptance that it's genuine.

We talked the other day, but I forgot your words and remembered your lips? What it feels like to kiss.

We laughed the other day, I forgot the joke but I remembered your smile. I missed it, hadn't seen it in a while.

You walked up to me the other day, we didn't hug although we wanted to. I'm scared of your touch, I'll break down and fall for you.

Heart keeps racing
Feet keep pacing
Blood flows more swiftly
Tears fall more quickly

Thoughts of you fly at me like a dart

Is this what it feels like to die from a broken heart?

In front of me, I see you
Behind me, you're there too
Next to me, is where you should be
But, my pride would rather be beside me

It's strange to me that I'm not like this at all.

I'm not an open person, and I always have up a wall.

Not the type of girl to sit up at 2:45am hoping that you call.

But here I am... doing just that...maybe I am after all.

I pretend that I'm alright, and that you aren't missed.

But I have a habit of fast forwarding and rewinding our last kiss.

Never knew forever would end so quickly.

And I'd be trying to replace you so swiftly.

You're close but you still feel far away.
I let you in and I don't know if you're here to stay

It's hard to want you and be this confused at the same time
Starting to feel like you'll never be mine

The closer I get to him, the farther I get from you.

The more I let him in, the harder it is to remain true.

My heart physically hurts, and I can't stand you for what you've done.

I have to stop running from the fact that you are my only one.

Home is where the heart breaks.