I have been buzzing around meaningless
Day after day, week after week
It’s still here
Fog in the form of sand trapped in my brain
Static is too dull a word to describe it
**** this
I have nothing else to sort through
The exhaustion is worthless even though I still have it
And I’ve been screaming for so long
But because I am paralyzed
Because I gripped my own throat for too long
Only dust comes out when my mouth unhinges

I’m still impatiently waiting for happiness to come and clean me up
Spark spark spark
I clench my fingers into my side
It feels like dirt in between my nails
I’ve been blown out like a candle
And like ash I float away

A *******’s wish
Is not to be seen, heard, or smelt
Not even to be acknowledged
Or validated
A ******* does not suffer hope

A masochists delight
Comes with a cry
A scream, a weep
And at the end a sly wink
Help is not a want

A masochists lip
Will quiver shakily
Pain is a complex
Paradox
Don’t question me

I wish I only existed within the pages of a book
I wish I was as quiet as a whisper
Just barely there, barely heard
Like a sweet lullaby
I want to exist for a quick flash
In a dream that feels like thread unraveling
Ready to be broken away and gone within a second
But it was still there
Just for that
And that’s all I’d ever need
I’m already living it

Cold finger tips
Rush down my arm
Yet fire burns through my veins
Lighting me up
What I feel is not life
Rather a silver lining
Passionate yet sorrow
Filled with a vengeance that cuts deep
My eyes roll back
The kiss of death now comes

A sugary sweet smell
Of a flower
It twists and turns
Sharp vines puncture itself
Yet it flows along
When the wind comes it drifts along with it
But a rock can not understand that
The rock sits and stays
A strong silent type
Obedient in its own will
Not so much stubborn rather unsure

Sweet as a rose
She ***** her thumb
In plain sight
She loves warm, wet kisses
Especially when her nose is cold
Frost be ******
Nobody takes her in
Even when she begs for it
SOOTHING as comfort
Brittle as powder
She can’t help but laugh
As she surrenders
To all of life’s goodness
And melts