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Weave me blue blanket of lies
Made from young virtuous lamb,
Forevermore, my comfort to keep.
Diminutive truths bearing no power
Mixed within sweet fallacy threads
Create this masterpiece I hold so dear.
Chamomile brewing late into the night,
Screaming black kettle boils over the edge
And sizzling snaps trail quickly after.
Duvet released my hand reaches forth,
Blindly scraping left arm on hot stove.
Howls, yelps, screeches of pain fly out my lungs,
Loud enough for Lupa, Achos, and Ania
To gaily dance amidst- my guttural cries as melody.
Ice pressed against my torrid flesh
I grasp the blue cloth of lambskin,
My defense against harsh actuality.
Fraudulent bliss a path often chosen,
Tis the blind man's way of life,
So a blind man is what I shall be.
How is it possible?
Can emotions last this long?
It's been ages we've heard from each other
Still the bond is so strong so beautiful
Feels like it was yesterday...
And sixteen years of life has passed.

Never experienced life this strange
Dreams that looked weird and far away
Have now taken a new beginning....

Eyes are filled with sweet memories
Bringing back moments of serenity.
Emotions so deep binding us together with absolute divinity.

Our lives are contrast and censorious
Separated in time yet bonded together.
Love has no bounds...
I live in him, he lives in me
With vows unbreakable
Till the last breath we take.....
I have lost the best part of me somewhere

My heart is empty with nothing to fill

Everything is falling apart and I feel helpless

The wall around me is slowly breaking down

Don't know how long I can resist the fall

After all these years I have nothing to talk

Silence has become my new identity

I feel intimidated to trust myself

Tried to put on happy faces all the time

But it has created a bigger hole instead

Pain and guilt are killing me on the inside

I find myself lost even holding his hand

Being happy is what I am missing the most

I am fighting hard to hold myself together

Having lost my soul I see no turning back now
The nights are longer

The sky is higher

Dreams have been painted

The fate of silence

Is yet to conspire...
What he wanted to give me now
I didn't want that anymore!!

Why not give it another chance?
Many questions are left unanswered

I have made up my mind and decided to cross the line
But they still want me to simply stay at my crossroads

I have nothing to give or to accept
When it's all over for me then how do I refrain

Before it's too late for anything to protect
I am saving the good moments and moving away

There was too much pain in living alone
Wanting to be with you and your love regrown

But now I don't hold any grudges for more
All that you want to give is not what I want anymore!!
I know.
I know how our souls react
I am here and you are there
and like magnets we sometimes attract each other
and sometimes repel
it's just about the way we sit,
you see,
when we close our eyes
it's easier to feel.

And my heart is stained
and my hands are tattooed with sins
and I know,
there's too much blue in my eyes
and too much white in my soul,
too much winter
too much snow
for the fire that you are.

I know
and you know too
there is a ground we'll both step on,
Together,
when there won't be so much snow
when you will have forgiven my hands
and the blue in my eyes
will seem warm enough
for your heart.
for E.B.

I knew you were sad
the only way I could think to help 
was to bring you to the countryside
as far away as we could get 
from your home in the midlands
far from mine in the south west

we slammed the car doors when we got out
it was the loudest sound for miles
you looked up at the sky 
furrowed your brow at the stars
like someone had stolen them from you
we don't have stars like this in the city*

you didn't cry like I thought you would
I am sorry that someone has taken your stars
so here I am giving you mine
I wanted to tell you that if you're sad 
to look at the moon
but I don't think you see the moon
in the same way I do
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