And
perhaps the drugs will detach
mind       from       body
long enough to
muster the courage to do what I fear
when
l u c i d

My lapse
was that I cared
about the result of
the game.

It bothers me that you occupy my mind
yet you deprive me
of even a moment
on yours

It bothers me that I bother myself
with caring
with consideration
when you couldn’t care less

It bothers me that I feel, when
one would have thought that the repetition
should have made me numb
by now

It bothers me that I bother