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Ive written about my experience
With a daughter i lost in my youth:
Amber waves in the still
Of my soul,
The story in my perception
Truth be spoken,
She wasnt really mine.

And my heart is stilled,
Born into my life
My love could not be seen
As fatherly,
A choice made
And years fade into the torture
That is my mind.

17 years after the four
Of loving her,
The love of my life,
The Ded inside the poet
Reaches into my reality
And once again all is
The chaos.
Ambers wave.....

I raised her for the first four years
Of her life knowing
She wasnt mine.
When my ex and i separated
I lost Amber too:

You reached into a well
Of souls and captured
My whole being,
Ambers waves like a beach
On Sunday morning's
Glory,
Life is in me to hear your voice,
And the truth comes
Like the last gasp.

Amber is my exs daughter,
She cheated on me and we assumed
Amber wasnt mine.
So four years i loved her.
She was born at 6 months old
And weighed only 2.7 pounds.
I reached out four months
Ago for some reason on facebook
After she friended me.
I asked her if she still talked to
The man we though was her dad:

Time is a hammer
Always pounding and memory
Is the tear we dont shed,
It all comes out at once
And the weight of regret
Can be lifted,
The soul cleansed,
The hope invigorating
And life is a dream within
A dream within....

She couldnt tell me anything
So her mother gets on messenger
And tells me she is going to call me.
She tells me Amber is mine.
That I was her father all along.
The stillness in my whole
Life lifted.

And the beauty of life is
That the unexpected
Is always the best anything,
Knowing is like a perpetual
Repetitive insanity,
Regret a broken record player,
Depression a choice within
Not to fight even when
You lose,
Ambers wave came like a
Dream awake.
The reality is,
If this is real, never wake me.......




My heart is open again.
Life is so beautiful.
Amber was born with cerebral
Palsy on the right side of her
Body, shes 21 and she found
She had a great big family
After feeling so alone.
She fights everyday and is in college
So when i met her she amazed
Me with her fight. Never
Giving up i awoke from
My stillness. I have a daughter
21 years old!!!!
My little girls have a big sister.
My still born was a metaphor
For my life being stopped after she wasnt in my life.
See my facebook for
The pictures of my long lost
Daughter. Life is a beautiful
Craziness.
pra
Helping others
Is an art that earns praise in term of bliss......
I look around, I stand alone
on a moonlight road, all my own,
I light a candle, hovered in front of me,
the fields of grass, warm, and overgrown,

I follow the trail of broken stones,
made of barren lights so far away,
the rocks, they whisper tired moans,
my feet pass over like tomorrow on yesterday,

I listen to the trees breathing with vanity,
I hear the leaves talking to the breeze,
It swirls around me, Oh, my Humanity!

The devil is close, can you feel him?
on the breathe of the homeless,
On the sweet taste of sin,
Global warming will make us globeless,

For you, me, everything in the sea,
That and more is what the trees tell me,
The path grows wider, with newer stone,
The future is ours, and mine alone,

We see things differently,
across the table, across the sea,
without us Earth would heal,
just another fossil in a tomb,
sent to doom like those before us,
All of the long necks and Tyrannosaurus,


rest in the ground

see the reality?
despicable delinquents of DNA
Throwing away what Mother Earth gave birth
War proves we don't know our worth,

The path reaches a fork
what will you choose?
for something meaningful to happen,
it starts with you
Why so many ignorant sheep
In this grassless land
Depression does not come cheap

It is not a joke or a tale
It is a fact that is uncontrollable
No matter how many
Meds or lonely whails
When all else fails
Don't you dare doubt my mental state
I do not fake
This burden
This demon
And don't you doubt
I've tried it all
And don't you compare
To those who didn't choose to fall
Because depression is out of your control
It takes ahold of your soul
Eats it's up and spits it out
I wouldn't lie about such a curse
Don't you dare look at me with doubt.
So many people in my life are not naive about depression, they're ignorant. They think they know the facts and they like to tell me them when they have never experienced such a thing, and it hurts me more than the depression itself.
The days get hotter
The smog gets thinker
The Ice melts
The ocean rises
Cities drown
Islands vanish
Money is still made

The world is Burning
Entire species gone forever
Whole cultures scattered
The money keeps rolling in

But what is money?
When the earth is suffering
What is money?
when we are dooming our selves
to many politicians and businesses  make money by pretending climate change isn't a thing
You are a planet
Come crashin into me
Start feeeling like
This is hennessy

Everytime that you
Come rushin into me
I start to think about
Everything I really need

But it seems like
Seems like
You don't care about
My life

But at the same time
I'm ok with that
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