Numbers are good
for tests
colleges
Numbers are bad
for weight
Make yourself small
Minimize your worth
to a grade point average
Stay up all night
studying
until the bags under your eyes
become more to bear
than the AP textbooks
Yet get your beauty sleep
because it’s important
you maintain flawless skin
Drink coffee to stay awake
yet not too much because you’ll get headaches and acne
Forget your friends, family and hobbies
but don’t complain too much
Work hard
but then you’re a try hard
who apparently never tries hard enough
because in the end your number
could always be higher
unless you’re on the scale
then it’s lower
because apparently
we all agreed
that our self worth
isn’t self determined
right?

I methodically contemplate
time and time again
with different questions
but all from the same basis:
what is my truth?
the scariest answer I’ve found
is what I’ve deemed the truest:
truth is perceptive
and we convince ourselves
what we believe in
therefore each truth is different
and whether or not we’re right
is never entirely cle

It’s been too long
since I wrote
& by writing I mean for me
not so another human can fawn
over my words
but so that I can feel
each emotion being poured
into a hand crafted image

It’s been too long
since I stopped
to really think
& be present
in my skin
& my heart
I forgot what I was like
when I stripped all else
away

I want you to know
you’re beautiful
in the way that deserves
to be talked about
I want you to know
that I notice
all the little things
you do
without thinking
the kindness
the smiles you give
I appreciate it all
and admire it
I think you’re fantastic
and always will