steven

steven Sep 2014

I am the air—
kissing,
caressing
the creases of your clothes,
but trapped and restless
in your veins.

#love #desire #air

steven Sep 2014

Rivers

Two rivers flow from my heart:

One famous to the people—
Revered, acknowledged,
Relied upon to renew life
In those strong, able mothers,
Whose water is playful and tame;

The other only known to the
Beasts of the forest—the exiles,
The infidels, the disillusioned
Sinners since birth, and the
Secret prophets who understand
Love and continue to preach it
Across treetops, under skies,
Through minds and closet doors
And kitchen knives and civil[ian] wars.

Bless their souls, those words of peace
Shine brighter than the sun
(Rumored to rise over everyone).
My rivers breathe life within me until
The source depletes, and my heart is still.

#rivers #queer #sexuality

steven Sep 2014

Canvas

It comes in the void of my chest,
In the silent dryness of my motionless lips,
In being seen and left alone,
Begging for attention, for a canvas
On which to paint my love in
Rainbow shades, then to be showered with foreign
Color: joy, guilt, lust, depression.

I want it all on me—to be the subject
Of one's art, to have it all
Flood my ears and hug my very
Existence—to have my body justified
By the gruesome secrets that hide.

#depression #loneliness #confessional

steven Sep 2014

I miss this—

I miss this—
The tranquil rustle of the leaves,
The midday sun at full throttle,
An uncomfortable heat surrounding the
Foul dissent of my loose-cannon brain,
And a stinging void of your memory
Left in haphazard pieces in my soul—
Yes, I miss it all, just
Short of the waste-bin
After having bounced off the rim,
Projected back in flight
Only to fall, victim to gravity.

#memory #boredom #daydreaming

steven Sep 2014

Embrace

I like big boys
With clean shaven faces
And ***** insides,
With genuine common sense
And half a working mind.
I like them psychotic
So they can chase after me
To the end of their arms,
To the clasp of their firm fingers
Holding me tight like
The wind holds a tree
In its aimlessly violent grasp.

I went through a phase.

#love #ramblings #sexuality

steven Sep 2014

Insane

The mental imbalance I live in
Tears me apart; I despise how
My actions speak volumes louder
Than my heart, than my soul.
I can never feel whole—not
With the dizzying ache of
Memories to regret and never treasure
Buried so deep in the mud
They turn to stone, forever
A lump of solid sin in the
***** of my earthy throat.
I feel the emotions colliding within,
Crashing, flaming, shrapnel arrows
To my pride, my integrity:
Conscienceless, dull.
Any day will death take me
Empty-eyed and still,
War having razed the skull.

#mental #bipolar #instability

steven Sep 2014

Translucent

On sight of us,
The light captured in an onlooker’s eyes
Naturally retains the gold shimmer
Of your god-like graces

While I,
Opaque with sad demeanor,
Only obstruct the view
Of the glory that is you.

True, the sight of me
Is not an ungainly hue;
My inner darkness is brilliant—
Almost as bright as you!

But in humor, voice, command, or smile,
Your shadow extends more miles.
This envy I bear turns my thoughts into fire—
O magnified refraction, burn this man they admire!

I always feel invisible around you.

#hatred #fire #invisible #jealousy