Submit your work, meet writers and drop the ads. Become a member
 
 Nov 2015 Heavens-Rain
Y Rada
It is difficult to be a man,
For I am not a typical one.
It is hard for me to go on,
There’s a secret that pulls me.

I loathe when my memories strike,
They hit emotionally with might.
I struggle so much to survive,
In a world so deaf towards my cries.

I look at a He and my heart convulses,
For I recall a He who gave me kisses.
I was young, forced and naïve,
I fought but He was much stronger.

Society might tell that I’m gay,
For I let a man violated me in a way.
But I’m not a ***** and I’m sure,
I play a role for which others envy.

When I was a teen I met her,
I admired her even if she’s older.
I was then shy and very timid,
With mental and emotional scars.

I thought of her as a dear friend,
Then she turned to be my worst fiend.
One instance she forced herself on me,
And used things that hurt me so.

A girl’s tactics differ from the stronger ***,
Tears she used first and blackmail next.
She was cunning, sly and very clever,
She stole my pride and my dignity.

My fears now mixed with anger,
My determinations got bolder.
I still cry and sometimes get lonely,
Like any other victim I want to fight.

I can not shout to the whole nations,
For societies will scorn at my declamation.
Both sexes forgot that I have feelings too,
I am also made of flesh, bones and spirit.

I am not proud of what I become,
Within me clouding reasons try to calm.
My desire is to win this battle to the end,
I am capable of vulnerability like any human.

But where does my right begin?
This universe has compassion for women.
The likes of me are expected to be steel made,
Yet I have feelings too for I am just a man.
Dedicated to all abused males by other men and to the men abused by females. A simple shout out to the world that I care…that I have heard your cries… and that you are still loved.
Finding my way
In a dark place
Alone in the rain
I don't want to fight this one alone
I stand here crying in the rain and it isn't apparent to anyone but me
Stabbing pain to the core of my soul
Just enough to make me give up
But I keep walking
Not knowing where I will end up
Still crying
The rain is my tears
Every drop exposes my fears
I'm drenched
But no longer confused
I wipe my face
As the rain stops
And I enter the building
Adjusting myself for work
working hard, no, just taking it hard
Visions I see
I can't sleep
Eyes wide open
In the dark
Laying watching
Trying to sleep
Listen to nothing
But my heart beat
The day ahead is planned for
People I might meet there are words for
Mistakes that may be made are dealt with
In the corners of my mind
Twisting turning
Trying to get comfortable
I'm to hot, now I'm cold
When will this end
I decided to stay awake
Discovering I can determine how my day goes
It occurs to me my attitude needed adjusting
In order to have a fruitful day
So as I laid there in the dark
I rehearsed what I might say
I practiced smiling
Instead of frowning
Laughing instead of doubting
Just being agreeable
Even if I didn't want to
Mornings here
Dressing for the day
Made my way out
Can't wait to try it out
Good morning!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
I said with a smile
As I preceded to get into my car
No one was there I was just practicing
I wore myself out practicing
When it was time to do it
I failed and said ***** it
River blue
A reflection of the sky
Makes me dreamy as I watch you flow by
I daydream of yesteryear
Wondering about my future near
As thoughts of happy places appear
And forgetting times of my wounded spirit
Dashing stones across you
Stepping in just above the knee
Loving the coolness
Feeling so refreshed
While the sun dances across a clear sky
Clean and fresh is the air
Bringing forth
Memories of the past
As new memories are formed
River Blue
I'll miss you
For the city is calling my name
But I shall return again
When I can no longer
Stay away from your beauty
river blue
A home away from home
Wished upon a star that fell from the heavens in rebellion
We think we know how this world runs
Not knowing we have been caught up in an illusion
Sipping death out of a can
Oh how tasty though
Eating food not fit for man
Eyes wide open
Yet asleep
Believing what the media says
Even when they can't speak the truth
The end is not yet
It is close
Especially close
Seeing all the men
Wanting to be women
How gross
A man is still a man
Even if he cut parts off and adds some
He can never be a woman
The nerve of him
The ends coming
I know it is
I hope you know it for yourself
Cause times not standing still
Moving quickly
So prophecy will be revealed
I couldn't break free
From my misery
He said he loved me
I believed him
To my grief
I was just another woman
Another he would use for his pleasure
A game he played
An instrument he strums
This night I had enough
I packed my things and left
No goodbyes
No looking back
Far away did I go
To a place I did not know
Not a soul I knew
I dug a hole as deep as I could
And I buried every memory, all objects
Covered them with earth
I forgot on purpose
Never to remember again
I dug a grave
Throwing all in
Making room for new memories
And new found friends
What do you do
When the one you need
Is the one you hate
How do you forget
The wrongs done to you
When they make an appearance often
How do you love
What's hurting you
Daily struggles
I wish I didn't have to concern myself with
I'm trying
Treat people like you want them to treat you
They  say
I make a  decision everyday to pay attention
To listen and not self impose
Could I get that same please
I make sure that others needs or taken care of
I watch
I pray
Before you can inform me
I ask you
I'm trying
What's hard is keeping this up
Because I'm tempted to give up
Perhaps that's just talk
It is
I can't
Even if  I wanted to
It is embedded in my being
Forever etched on my heart
I must persevere
Looking for that prize at the end
Betwixt the Alloquy
Of me and Reyna Jane's tongue's;
Spilleth out the astrology, aloft the moon and the sun.

God shalt unite us
In the new life;
Of the next.

Thither the peace coming
The fountain's shalt be running;
With Christ's aura of his mightiness.

The world's now faltering
Forward star's to hit this dune;
Annular mushroom cloud's, as well from man's nuclear doom.

As china faileth, and the State's of America fumble
I'm ready to go, so queen do knoweth;
The stock's art about to jumble.

Look high, mine love
To ourn creator above;
Trumpet's art about to be blown.

The celestial's art heavy
Ourn universal levee;
Is broken, so clingeth to me mine dove.



©Brandon nagley
©Lonesome poet's poetry
©Earl Jane nagley dedication/ prophetic poetry
Alloquy means- speech between two people an old word...
Betwixt means between.
Have you ever been awaken
From the best sleep ever
When your eyes could hardly open
And you could barely speak
Have you ever had a partner
Whom with everthing clicked
But you quit
Have you ever been eating a hamburger while driving and you saw something
And out the window
it went
Have you ever been down the dead end street of life
Had to bag out turn around and rethink
Have you ever lost something you loved
Forgot about it
And it turned up years later
Have you ever thought about how many possibilities
Have you ever could produce
Me
No never
Next page