i still remember when we'd stay up til 3 am messaging each other talking about music

now i can't even bare to look in your eyes or even say your name

the shirt i gave you probably smells like cigarettes and alcohol by now

you always told me to slow my words down so you could understand me

but maybe you didn't understand what pain i was trying to explain

half of my summer consisted of sadness and cigarettes thanks to you

i know what you did to me because i was there on the other side of the wall

while you were with the guy you didn't know, i was sitting at the fire being warmed by it and not you

(J.A.)

she told him, with a cigarette hanging
at the edge of her mouth, to stay away
not for his sake; she was selfish, she told him to
stay away for her
because she knew that it was better to not feel at all
but he didn't listen
he never ******* listened
and that was the problem
he didn't listen when she told him that it was too late,
he didn't listen when they told him that she
was already destined to live a life not well spent,
he didn't listen because he didn't care
he should've
he knew all too well that she was a nightmare,
a freak, a lost cause, but he didn't care
because she was also the girl who taught him
how to drink (even though he never got drunk)
she was the girl who taught him how
to relax (even though he was a stressful freak)
and she was the girl who taught him how to live
and one day, the fact that she was a horrible,
bitter mess escaped his mind
in a way it was all his fault;
she told him to never forget who she was,
but he did
he forgot that she was a life-ruiner, she ruined
people's lives

she told him, with a cigarette dangling
from the edge of her mouth, the puffs of smoke making him
dizzy, to stay away
but he never ******* listened

and that is the story of the boy who lives on the corner
of the street, he smokes a pack a day and sings shallow songs
still reminiscing in the memory of the girl
who ruined his life

They tell me I'm ugly

She says I look ridiculous

They tell me I'm fat

She says go **** yourself



As if I don't know

As if I don't want to