Conclusions
Ideas,
Oh god
Your grieving me by the end
Our story some how laced with pain
A mortal could never know.
Only feel.
I'm mortal but I'm edging over insanity and begging for some understanding to stand on and precieve.
Stand on and see.

See my heart beats blue
A lasting shade of indigo
After all the poison it's consumed
It still beats,  if a little slow.  

And im not so shaking
I'm not so weak
Not so terrified
Not so weak

Not scared of life
Or what it seeks.  

Just understanding
When it speaks.

There's a masochistic twist
In an atom
At the core

Oh so willing of pain
If only pleasure grows a little more.

God knew that he would die.

Stark
All peel skin
Frayed edges
A thought quite
Polished
In the worser of ways.
I had rubbed raw the idea
And it had turned into a sorefar beyond blistering
The skin was chaffed.
Raw cut and open.
How many times did I have to weave
This thought through the coils of my brain
To bruise and defame
All of my sane?
I must have thought I was dreaming
To make such a terrible decision.

You
in and out of my thoughts.
Gathering force
Proving that you've captured me
Or I've captured your essence.
I'm dance in rhythm
The sound of your name.

There was a bird flying
to and fro
from me to you
and her to him.
From every one
to every where.

Showing care showing care.

This bird flew for ever
it always had
its always been.

But i haven't seen it for a while
I noticed I hadn't seen any one smile.

i wondered where it could of gone.

Hopefully it'd be back by dawn

Things accumulate.  
In and around my mind.
Am I as good as I'd like to believe?
When we fall I get irritable.  
You would know
Cause you do too.  
I lay in bed just to smell you
Comfort in the little things.  
When **** Makes us distant.
I don't like the drugs.
I try to stay away
And you do the same.
Seems like our failures follow us
I try to brush away our trail.
But we amplify our shared weakness.
I just want life
Not death
I just want you
Cause your better than ****.

Selfishness borns
that utter thing

Selfishness borns
something to celebrate.

You weren't thinking forward
just wanted your ever after.

You didn't want me.
just wanted your ever after.

and I know I wasn't called upon,
I know I wasn't beckoned.
I know you didnt summon me
to fix what you'd been wrecking.

But I'm here now, Im alive.

As strange as it may seem,

Your complete selfishness
borned a complete me.


And its oh so hard to swallow
that I wasnt one of those,
precious flowers planted
and in pain you hope it grows.
But instead  a seed which fell
from a bird far over head
and I grew and grew and grew
until you wanted me dead.

You gashed at all my stalkings
you pulled at all my leaves
You plucked all of my petals
trying to destroy me.

You picked at my root bed,
hoping i would wither in the sand

Never did you think of what would happen
if by chance i would survive

and then the mother of my creation is who wanted me to die.

But i staid alive.


And now you see me from afar
and you know that I'm aware

of all the pain you put me through
and that non of it was fair


But you expect me not to care.

I'm still second guessing what could have been
if i was raised in the flower bed I was meant to be in.

If my seed had been planted so consciously
that the moment I sprouted was

appreciated.

Little cell

does it hurt,

when you split for my continuation?

Does the electricity burn

when you move for my creation.

Little conscious
do you love me

for all the pain you choose.

Little cell I am happy
i am not in your small shoes.

If it were possible to say something
More or less peneatratable
Would I have the conscious ability
To decipher how to reach
The furthest depths of you
Or would I choke under the pressure
Of getting you.
Would it just stop me in my tracks
To understand
I could change you as a person
With the right combination
Of some made up language
Which our ancestors have been evolving
For centuries.
That gives, let's talk a whole knew meaning
What am I doing to your mind?

Whisper softly,
no need to raise your voice.  
I'm Here just like always,
that is my choice,  
and I'm listening to you,
just like everybody's wanted.
You finally found some one to tell
all those things thatve left you haunted.

We are enclined to hide
yet we find comfort in exposer,
we are wired to lie
at the risk of some one getting closer.

But I'm tired of garments
hiding my truth
I'm tired of guilt
staining my youth.

And I want you to know,
that you can be free.
If you just let go
and put your trust in me.

Save your breath for another day
Some other world
Some other play
Some other time
In a different place
Give up now
Though you can't replace
The time you spent
The time you lost
The opportunities miseed
Who knows the cost
You'll never have
A yesterday
You can't rewind
you can't replay.

Provoking it to move for me
My holy essence quivering
Begging it it to move for me
Giving it all of my energy

I want it to shape shift
This life  
It's so much to give
This life
And getting closer
To life

I ask it to move for me
Show me the energy.

Face to face
I know you love
pressure on your cheek bones,
suffocation
if its gentle.
push me
down your river.

Cool water rushes from beneath the rocks and rotten logs.
I sit with my pants rolled up feet stiff from the spring.
Heavy breathing, taking a break.
The rock feels cool through my pants
and the moss feels rough and green.
Looking up through the trees to the sky
I'll never understand how all this got here.
How perfect things truly are.
I'm moving rocks in the woods like its my job.
Accomplishing nothing but a change of tempo
in the flow of the stream.
But i feel like God.

Santa Clause was never real for me..
I guess it was just instinct...
It was to hard for me to think
about some one always watching me.
And I guess that's probably why
I've always been scared to die
cause i dont want to think
no one will remember me.
© 43 minutes ago, Halley

Central distress
I'll be the story
You can aim your hate at me
. . .

Point your arrows to the sun
And watch as violence disintegrates
Before you
In a spectral flash
Of ever burning tolerance.
....

Your short comings never
Seemed so tall to me
I eat your pessimism like candy
Sweet heart you could try to swallow
My contentment
But it would only heal you...

And that suffering you relish
Like some great gift from god....

You don't know christ, do you?