the weight of my mind is polar
orange and viscous.
its fragility hangs in a gentle orbit,
gathering dust,
rubbing dully against my inner skull
- an object of my deepest desire.

but wide eyes gazed at you
amongst the black
through the kitchen window.
the house on the hill,
the blue door.
take off your shoes when you come.
i have needed you for twenty years.
but

i was not present when he intruded,
underneath my clothes.
but you were.
but it was gentle, a touch like a closed fist
but clamped, fumbling.
but
his love called his number, to no answer
a single, white noise -
the static after he says his own name.

the youngest sibling locks herself in the bathroom,
peering into the mirror,
she observes the soft face before her
- it is freckled, a round nose.

she removes the stained article of clothing,
inspecting her curves for evolving figures,
life fast-forward footage of a blossoming carnation.
her ******* are pale against a strand of light,
reflecting upon her hips from the silver bath head.

her father knocks on the door.
"i'm fine!" she cries.
as she stood over the running bath, it glided down her thigh,
like watered down paint, evolving across the canvas.

Too many shattered Mirrors
Mirroring my sins.

Too many walls
Hindering my wings.

My growth remains
  still
as silence Kills.

How do you love the
Unloved?

Stuck in the traffic,
It moves so slow.
Funny, I'm so sick.
I feel so low.

As these cars keeps on stopping,
Here I am, I really can't wait.
To get over everything,
To be okay as well.

Stuck, Im so stuck in you,
What a bad idea I made
But as soon as this traffic ends,
I hope this feelings will fade.

Tick tock,
I stumble and fall,
Tick tock,
My heart stops.
Every minute is easier and harder than the last,
One moment am blessed with wings,
the next am spiraling down to the  past,
Where I taste freedom just for it to turn bitter and I spit it out.
I live and die in the same second,
In the twinkle of a star I exist and fade.