Give me a second to gather all my thoughts, please and thank you

The thought of life is scary is not?
All my fears and demons laugh mockingly tonight.
Does that ever happen to you?
I have this crazy thought of
when we die.
So throw me a penny or nickel,
maybe even a quarter if you are kind.
All my unwell wishes deserve to be tossed away.
I cannot bare to hold them in much longer
and we are all meant to be creatures of family.
This world scares me.
I should not be able to change the view of you in a poem
You are you, love yourself.
I love me, but I am afraid you won't love me back.
tosses a coin *

What did you wish for?

They used to call
him
the young genius
now they call
him
the old recluse,
holed up in his
shack on the Mad River,
A garden of grow
in the back corner,
Always a **** for me and you.

He sits out on
his little patio
those bottle fed
cats
all running around
chasing ghosts
this way and that.

Pink camillas
white roses
silken dried out hydrangeas,
Spirits in the faces of the flowers.
Red berries
the bird's bar
a bar fight breaks out every evening.

We visit him there
on Friday afternoons
sun setting
sun high in the blue sky.

He finger ****** his
way through life,
Where ever he stopped,
People's lives changed,
He, searching for the words
to heal others pain
until compassion fatigue
set in,
Now he can only relate
to others
in small quantities of moments
too much pain felt
from
without within.

He is like his river,
a madness,
always different/always the same.
The sanest person we ever
knew.
Just watch your eyes, though,
with a look
he'll see right through you,
All your secrets will be revealed.

The young genius
the old recluse
if you need some healin'
go ahead and see'em,
He'll give you just a
hint,
Even if he's not feeling,
He'll take you down to
the Mad River's shore
give you a glimpse of you
and
bring you back home again
for more.

Shaman's on their way
have nothing much better to do
and nothing else to prove.