Hello to the guy in the white polo
the formal black slacks
and polished black shoes
You could've noticed a little girl around
who is utterly attracted to you
You look at me every now and then
and I ignore those looks of yours
you don't know I'm secretly giddy
flattered, enthralled, enamored

I love the smell that exists after the rain
There is something comforting about it
as I breathe it in through my lungs

I would say you were very much like it
You give me that same feeling it gives
especially when I have you inside of me

The best/worst similarity between you and petrichor is this:

You only come around in my life occasionally.

As I spend most days either drenched in endless rain
Or baked by the intense heat of the sun
And wait for something to make me feel sane
like I wait for you to come around in my life again

I crave for your touch

the way your hands feel

on my hands

on my waist

And everywhere else.



I crave for your kisses

The thrill your lips bring

on my lips

on my neck

Kiss me everywhere.



I can’t stand this craving

It has become a full on habit

on my mind

on my heart

In every part of me.

It was a lonely kind of smile

that painted my face

the moment you smiled at me

I hid my melancholy

—-

It was a lonely kind of smile

one without a trace

of any kind of glee

as you gaze at me

—-

It was a lonely kind of smile

before I looked away

Not minding your looks

So again I won’t be fooled

—-

It was a lonely kind of smile

and I start to think

Though I’ll never resist you

I’ll try my best to……

Tonight, I force a smile

and pretend nothing happened

I imagine that things are alright

even if they aren’t...

I spent the last few days

in sadness and in tears

Tonight, I force a smile

hoping happiness is real

It didn't feel like anything

The moment he kissed me

He was the perfect stranger

whom I've gotten along with

but the kiss was so sudden

I could've been filled with rage

Instead, it's this kiss I hunger

even if I'm not in love with him

It was within these halls you stood now that I walked hand in hand with him weeks ago
It was the same paintings he had kissed me to that you are now admiring alone


He and I both wore white and looked quite lovely
You wore head-to-toe black, implying something


An event I shared with him that happened a few weeks ago that was only captured by memory
An Instragram moment for you that  you will share to anyone who's watching and listening


In a party over a year ago, you saw me sitting alone and scared of everyone
I caught you staring at me while your arms were wrapped around someone

Our eyes met then like the way one stares at a beautiful painting.
But like an onlooker, we walk away with nothing...


Fast forward 12 months--
Our first trip to the museum
With you as your only company
and me in the arms of somebody


Though I was happy being with him, I have yet to have someone of my own
Here you are currently, pushing away the sadness of your state of isolation


What if that coincidence went further
and we both saw each other?
Amidst the oil on canvas and statues
Would I have a chance with you?


These questions run my mind as it wasn't long ago I've been in the floors you now stand
The missed opportunity from a year ago is probably another missed one a year later

I wish you had feelings for me
for I can't keep mine in secrecy
It will forever be a mystery
if I was ever your fantasy

Indeed, our love story
is non-existent, unfortunately
If you and I aren't meant to be
Then that would be a pity

At 2 in the morning,

I could’ve been dancing the night away at some club.

I could be drinking all the Stellas

and flirt with other fellas.

After that, I could rest easy at a Figaro

and avoid another hangover

But nope…

Here I am now,

in a house as silent as ever

While the clubs are surely playing loud house music

And instead of playing the party girl I once was

I now reveal myself as a writer as  I have always been

It just seems to come more naturally

The voices, the colors, the vibe in my head

are louder than any party at this time

The downside is…

LONELINESS

It never actually goes away, really

But partying could surely hide it

unlike writing at 2 in the morning

When everything I try to forget

just hits me harder than ever

I lived on "what if's?" and "what could've been's..."

I always dwell on missed opportunities

But I could never remove the fear

of falling in love

                                              Thought I'd be scared for the nth time around

                                                         ­   because here's that scary feeling again

                                                          ­                      Yet it feels all too different

                                                      ­                                   This thing called love

If our love was like a movie
it will be a cheesy 80's flick
where we're at a party
and you make your way to me
from right across the room


It could set in a timeless 50's feature
where I  could be Audrey Hepburn
running around idyllic places
doing things I  pleasure
while being with you


Maybe we are like the 20's  
where we star in the talkies
A fascination, an innovation
a breakthrough, a classic
just like me and you

We are figures designed to burn at the mere presence of
each other

we are magnets of the polar sides made to come closer and
closer

and we are two people who have come and discovered the
answers

So please stick around
Don't let me down again

I could never make anyone fall in love with me

Do I even have to try?

It’s a fact proven by science

and the absence of romance

in my waking life



I couldn’t compare to other women in your life

They win by a landslide

I’m not even an option or a choice

But to me you were the only boy

in my ******* mind



I could do better than write this poem down

It’s a sunny day out

And I don’t have to feel sad anymore

because you don’t even care at all

I have myself to rely on

Don't **** yourself, I beg of you
I guess you think you're alone
I bet you think I won't understand

Well, honey, I do

I know what it feels to be on the edge
And when all my cries fall on deaf ears
Drown in a flood of tears
The agonizing loneliness that won't go away

Please, don't forget to hold on
I know you could
Remember that I'm always here
and you are not alone

I promise, it will get better

Your eyes won't sparkle for me again

I bet they shine for someone else

And when I look at the moon

I only think  of you

But you now think of her


You used to be so close to me

but now closure is what's missing

You found a begining with someone else

leaving behind what we once had

that's now a mere memory

The way you look at me

is a source of infinite curiosity

and those shy grins

confuse me to the brim

Yes, to you I act mean

but I’m lovestruck from within



                                                But you’ll never know it

                                                For I put an act on you

                                                Probably like you on me

                                                But I’m much more careful

Here’s that feeling again…

                             Liking someone I know I should not;

                             attracted to the forbidden specimen

I just want it to go away

                              That feeling of bliss like days with skies of blue,

                               which also gives me the grandest of torments

But I want you to stay

                               My foolish pride thinks I can see you go

                               even if deep inside it hurts like hell

I am free to write

No anxiety would constrain

No mental blocks in my brain

will happen anymore

---
For the first time

In a very long period

I have confidence that I could

express all emotions

--
And the lightness inside

wouldn't compare to anything

The hardship I suffered

Is there no more