And if I touched
Hands of snow,
I should warm them
Make them glow.

Your reticence
I would address,
Through an honest.
Friendly caress.

How would you
Cope with my fear,
Stop me trembling
Dry my tears?

With wet hands
Coated in salty ice,
Collecting tears whilst lying,
Trying to think twice.

Make haste,
Drop the daisies.
Run home,
Before everything
Is too late.

It is only
Through inaction,
We can deny
Our love is Fate.

(Gerry Aldridge © 2017)

I want To Turn Feelings Into Words.

I enjoy the struggle
To make a sentence beautiful.
Use the right adjective,
Or the precise adverb
Which is suitable.

I strive to turn emotion
Into something
We can read.
Something other people
Will believe,
Open up and
Let themselves bleed .
For,

There is nothing more sad
Than an unhappy person
Deprived of honesty and worse.
Believe in nothing,
Except the lies
They nurture
In the safety
Of their own
Universe.

(Gerry Aldridge © 2017)

First- What is the difference between a poet and a hopeless romantic?
Second- A poet writes about other people´s feelings, too.

Sighs And Butterflies.

Sighs are but butterflies,
With no real purpose,
Or intention-
At least not enough
To mention.

Let the breeze blow,
No place in particular to go.
Just a thought,
Kind and soothing,
Of a sort.

We were in denial.
Sure of making love
And having fun.
Fight the rain,
Fly into the sun..

But truth became
A weapon.
And,
In the end,
Acceptance won.

(Gerry Aldridge © 2017)

My Butterfly Story.

A butterfly landed
On me one day.
She tickled me silly,
Made me tremble
In a good way.

She tried hard to listen
To all I couldn¨t say.
But in the end,
To save herself,
She had to fly away.

I forced myself
to pray for God
To take our love away.
And for this I shall be sad,
Til my dying day.

(Gerry Aldridge © 2017)

Love Needs Nurture.

Even a flower
Needs a drop
Of sentiment.
Without care
It shall
Eventually wilt.

The smallest flame
Is nothing
Without a breeze.
Gone is the flicker.
End of a life,
In one foul blow.

Pop my bubble,
Steal my air.
When I am gone
I shall not care.

Love needs nurture.

First; Can we be friends?
Second; Yes, of course.
As soon as my love is dead,
I will give you a call.
We can do coffee,
One day.

Talk vehemently.
About anything.
Probably, even smile,
As we lie to each other
About not feeling
Anything at all.

It takes time
To **** the truth.
There are no skipping stones,
Or shortcuts
From the pain.

Give love time, please,
To truly wither
And die.
Become nothing
Dry, bitter
A mutual shame.

Then the putrid ash
Of a love denied,
Falls wasted
Crushed, too sodden
To ever fly.

Some time later
We say hello.
I shed a tear
And force a smile-
The only way
Was to say goodbye.

(Gerry Aldridge ©2017)

Not Lost But Free.

I miss you-
Why shouldn´t I?
I either had to let you go,
Or watch you die.

So, now I feign pleasure
As you soar in the sky.
She is happier there
You'll hear my lies sigh.

But she comes back,
Says hello.
Trusts me. for
In a cage she is not.

We steal time together,
Lock ourselves away even.
To be together,
Close our eyes and find heaven.

With open eyes
We face the world
Once closed
We are the whole universe.

(Gerry Aldridge 2017)

I have never seen
A more comfortable
Place to be.

No need to leap.
Just come
Look with me .

I too, am afraid
Of closing my eyes
And confronting
What I can already see.

(Gerry Aldridge © 2017)

True Self.
What do you do,
When you do not want to be you?

You have thought about inventing
something else...pretending a lot did not happen.
But, in the end,
the only thing you will say as you die,
Is,
Was I free?

So, I guess
Albeit reluctantly at times,
I chose me.
Because when I die
There will be no blame.

And of course,
Nothing more to see.
But, I will absolutely not
Regret thee.

I Bask In You.

Why is it always
A touch almost?
True love comes.
But do the sun's rays
Reach all the way?

Seems to me
They are stuck fast.
Between reality,
And the space
We are unhappy to be.

A half touch,
A supposed connection.
Glancing between ideals
And what could be perfection.

I can only look forward to
Our complete absorption.
(Gerry Aldridge ©2017

I No Longer Live Here And There Is Nowhere I want To Go.
I want to go on a journey.
One that has no end,
But a car will only take me
From here to a place called there.

A train just goes from A to B
They require tickets to somewhere.
And a taxi willingly carries me
To a specific destination.
As long as I pay the fare.

Where can I find a journey that has no end?
I do not want an End.
I want to keep going
And leave everything else behind-
................
A boat would do it-
The horizon lasts forever.
But if I hit a storm,
Sink and drown
Death is a place, too.

I do not want to go anywhere-
Never stop,
Just continue.
...................
And hope I find her again

(Gerry Aldridge ©2017)

Two sides to every story-
Death of a star.
Her:
You have lost your glow
All the beautiful colours have gone.
The sun that shone through you,
Lifting my heart
Turning thoughts into song
Has dried up,
Changed you back into stone.
And the hope that I had
Has left me alone.
I have turned back
Into the rock I was not,
And you are no more precious
Than a whim I had,
Which lasted too long.

Him:
I have lost my glow
All the beautiful colours have gone.
The sun that shone through me.
Lifting your heart
Turning thoughts into song
Has dried up.
Changed me back into stone.
And the hope that you had
Has left you alone.
You have turned back
Into the rock you were not,
And I am no more precious
Than a whim you had.
Which lasted too long.
(Gerry Aldridge ©2017)

SURVIVAL
When I look in a mirror
I accept what I see.
But beyond the reflection
Begins another journey.

The wolf
And the bear-
Two creatures
With life I share

The wolf is pragmatic
But can be flawed.
The bear however,
Will always stand tall.

Wolf is a mother-
The best protector,
But if needs be
You had best flee.

Bear will come,
Rip the sky from the sun.
And turn raindrops into flames
While dancing as you run.

I was born a lone wolf,
But life beat me down.
So then I found Bear
And felt invincible again.

For Wolf the objective
Is not to find home.
But to prepare herself
For being alone.

And if things get too much,
Feelings, emotions and the such.
Bear will be there,
And you had better beware.

Wolf is not always happy
With the prey killed by Bear.
But she instinctively knows
Nothing in life is ever fair.

Bear killed a friend
Wolf should by nature not have had.
It brought chaos to the jungle
And was less happy than sad.

A thing so dear
It would only cause fear
In the kingdom it thrived,
So Bear decided it had to die.

Everything is relative-

Look at this cute, little wolf
And the big, bad bear.
Wolf could not make you listen,
But Bear made you stare.
(Gerry Aldridge ©2017)

The World Is Dead
I awoke to an eerie silence-
The sun had not come up,
No birds littered my trees.
Nothing new was born this day.

Unsettled, I opened my door
Too afraid to look at anything-
I blanked all of it out,
Except the floor.

Weeds furled tightly
Around my already sinking ankles.
Ironically, giving me the strength to stand
And face the pain I chose to bear.

There was no point
In taking a single step,
If the world had halted
Where could I possibly go?

Instead, I retreat
But am forced to stand tall.
Reconcile my differences
With God I am at war.

I am not safe,
But I can hide.
Pretend
Nothing ever happened at all.

Perhaps even survive
In a world
That has no meaning
Anymore.

Or take a walk,
And admire the death
Of a thousand wilting trees
All the time smiling contentedly.

It was me that destroyed the world.
I just let go
Followed my storms
Letting the hurricane ensue.

I shall not blame him, or you.
Just pretend I am happy-
Do something different
Make everything new

Forget the past
Deny the future
Hope and pray
There will be another day.

All I ask
Is that I am not obliged to stay.
(Gerry Aldridge © 2017)

Something has left me.
I know exactly what it is
And why it left.

Such a clean cut:
Expected, frontal, yet,
Has taken me aback.

I am lighter:
Logically if a piece of me were missing,
I would feel less weight.

I think you could run a train
Right through me
And it would not reach the end.

As the space inside me grows,
Less of me exists
And I am slowly vaporising.

Emptiness swelling,
The last of me melting
Into a wisp of the never was.

The universe became us
Dissipating the lies
Until the day we are clear, blue sky.

Diving Into You

Diving into,
Basking and even,
Risking drowning in.
Those sensuous folds.
Breathe it in
Make love
With our skin.

More **** than carnal love
Is your smell.
The one I crave,
Beg to absorb
In. deep, long breaths deep in.

The scent of you
Does more to me
Than ever a touch
Has dared to do-
Nothing so far
Has connected me
More to you.

Your scent that lingers
Forever in the air
Testimony to the fact
Of the honesty we share.

Perhaps a stone laid
For the day we dare.

Myself.
I went out,
Stripped naked
To the cold.
And looked at all
The pieces of myself
I had not yet sold.

Satisfied there was
Still enough of me left,
I went back in
To the warmth
And safety
Of my nest.

With such an affliction,
I will have to wait
Until I run out of reality
Before I write fiction.

And with such an addiction
How is there any hope
Of ever ending
This beautiful conversation?

Portuguese version with a slightly different ending :)
«O meu colar de gotas de chuva
Primeira: Porque tens as mãos molhadas?
Segunda: Eu estava a fazer um magnífico colar de gotas de chuva, quando de repente todos os pingos se transformaram em lágrimas.
Primeira: Tentavas criar uma realidade que não poderia existir além do teu sonho.
Segunda: Eu só tentava fazer aquilo imaginado
Primeira: Infelizmente, isso significa que nunca será…

My Raindrop Necklace
Primeira: Why are your hands wet?
Segunda: I was making a beautiful raindrop necklace, when suddenly all the beads turned into tears.
Primeira: You were trying to create something that could not exist outside your dream.
Segunda: I was only trying to make what I had seen.
Primeira: Sadly, it does not mean it will ever be,

Did you know that if you catch the early morning sun at precisely the right moment as she rises demurely in the sky, a tear will dry before it even leaves the eye?

The Bar At The End Of The Earth- in progress...
Still the faceless, formless shape of something behind the bar serves nothing to the man.
“You need not always chase a dream so far, Sometimes you need to let it come to you. It is not death I will pour you today. You still love your dream. Cherish it. Carry it around everywhere- it is proof you are alive.”
The stranger huffs indignantly.
“My dream has gone. I’ve already told you. My heart is broken, it just won’t stop beating. I shouldn’t be alive. Give me a double of death, make sure the job gets done. I implore you.”
The stranger holds up his glass defiantly.
“My dear Sir, hearts won’t stop if they still have more to do. And dreams do not get lost, they are always there just waiting to be found.”
“I am sure mine doesn’t exist anymore, if it ever did at all.”
Second excerpt- The Bar At The End of The Earth
It laughs from the shadows behind the bar at the end of the Earth.
“Your pain is attestation you are still alive. Without pain there is nothing you fear to lose and nothing you will ever really love."
“Is that so?” The man cries into the empty glass hoping only poison will drip from his putrid corpse, so that he may indeed drink himself - to death at last. He raises his glass again.
It sighs.
“Alas, you have truly lost your way. Death does not await you here.”
Weak from his will to die,
The man raises a hand to cover an eye.
Here sunlight still finds me. Go away!
Am I doomed to live
Another mephitic day?.
Silemce ensued.
Then, from behind the barren, bleak bar came a voice.
"You´ve found her, haven't you?"
Slurring, and dizzy from thinking about not thinking about not sleeping. Hating the thief, who is no longer a robber, but a kidnapper- Damning him,
"Found who?" He feigned an innocence lost some time before.
"Her."
The Bar At The End Of the Earth- Gerry Aldridge (2016)-work in progress,

Lyrics
Like Cleopatra
Got the masses at my feet
Got a living dwell
Down on easy street
I'm the latest craze (oh yeah)
And if you stay a while
Inevitably
You gone be bitin' my style
In your later days (well, well, well)
Let me tell you what is fact
And what is true
I get high and that ain't that much to do
I'm always in a daze (uh huh)
That was just a dream I had
Last night in my bubble bath
Next to my wishing well
Oh yeah, you betta

Get up, get out
And do somethin'
Don't let the days of your life pass you by
You got to
Get up, get out
And do somethin'
How will you make it if you never even try
Get up, get out
And do somethin'
Can't spend your whole life tryin' to get high
You got to get up, get out
And do somethin'
Cause you and I have to do
For you and I

What's been happenin'
How you doin'
Where you been
I'm further behind now
Than I was back then
Lost in some old maze (uh huh)
Some years have passed me by
All I want is to go get high
I'll get it together
Some other day

In my dreams I dwell (uh huh huh)
Cause all my dreams are swell (woo, woo, woo)
You would too
If you could see them
That's what I know
I gotta go
Get up
Get out and (yeah)

Heaven's at my feet
Got a living dwell
Down on easy street
I'm the latest craze (uh huh)
It's just a dream I had
Last night in my bubble bath
Next to my wish--yeah, yeah, yeah-yeah

Get up, get out
And do somethin'
Don't let the days of your life pass you by
You got to
Get up, get out
And do somethin'
How will you make it if you never even try
Get up, get out
And do somethin'
Can't spend your whole life tryin' to get high
You got to get up, get out
And do somethin'
Cause you and I have to do
For you and I

Why don't you do somethin'?
Get up, get out
And do somethin'
Don't let the days of your life pass you by
You got to
Get up, get out
And do somethin'
How will you make it if you never even try
Get up, get out
And do somethin'
Can't spend your whole life tryin' to get high
You got to get up, get out
And do somethin'
Cause you and I have to do
For you and I

The Day In-Between
Cars nose their way
Guardedly down the road.
Wrapped in shadow,
Blankets pulled up tight,
Concealing them.
A woman is crossing the street
With a basket full of washing.
Furtively exploring
A moment of liberty.
She shrieks at the ghost
Of an elf.
Who was there
Only yesterday.
She tells herself
It is the past.
The one she remembers
She did not have.
The one she is told
Will never last.
The woman scolds herself,
Chuckles aloud.
The Prince she danced with
The night before,
Is all she is waiting for.
The cobble stones twitched
At the touch of their feet.
As they waltzed
In the old village square.
She finally found Prince Charming
In the last dance
At the end of the Ball.
Then night became dawn
And they parted,
Until after the sun had gone down.
Hush more sacred
Than a Sunday.
In-between two Fundays.
Hush, hush,
Before you dream
Too much.
Silence! Silence!
Sleep! Slumber!
Hung discreetly
Over us.
The day after
The day before.
Oh Carnival!
Oh Carnival!
I implore you
Come once more!
(Gerry Aldridge 2016)

My Tree
Through dark and dismal days
I watched you reign
And come to flower,
Then fruit again.

Wardrobe change
No more the green.
I watch you undress
All over me.

Why do the birds sing
As they say goodbye?
Or do they weep,
As they watch the fall?

Become icing on the ground
And you stand tall.
In ****** you are
Still, strong and proud.

I wrap myself up in
Yellows come golds.
Rolling with glee into every fold,
And I breathe you.

My mind is the breeze.
Turn your robes into oceans
That fly with me..
Continue life with me.

The time to hibernate,
Wait till Winter has gone.
Then comes Spring
And I shall watch you dress again.

Wistful of the past
And the future?

My mind is the breeze
That captures thee.
Showers the world
In fragmented sunbeams.

Warming the earth,
Making the fairies dance.
Embracing the metamorphosis
Of life.continued.
(Gerry Aldridge 2016)

Does the sun rise and scorn
All the dreams I think I saw?
Or does it care?

Does it want to help me bear
The loss of something I never had,
But through rose-coloured spectacles
I clearly saw?

Does it shine, or smirk
When it sees me pleading with the night
Not to go away, and begging all my dreams
To come with me into the day?


Are you light, or dark Sun?
Are you my tormentor,
Or my friend?
(Gerry Aldridge 2016)

A single sneeze
And the universe stumbles.
For a split second
Everything is real.

All the little people
Living inside my head
Scurry around hysterically,
In search of sanity again.
And I see nothing.

A sneeze comes bursting out.
My eyes shut tight,
And for a second
I am not there.

What if I resisted
And kept my eyes from closing?
I wonder what I’d see
In the chaos of a dishevelled mind.

If my eyes stayed open
And my skull
Burst at the seams,
Would my mind
Come tumbling out,
Shot from the barrel of a sneeze
Splatter over land and sea?

Would all the little people
Seize the chance
Come rushing out,
And then to run away?
Leave me empty
Of all thought,
And with nothing
Left to say?

Perhaps it would be nice
To lose them
All in one foul sneeze.

I could start my life again.
Like a butterfly
Chase new dreams,
Flitting somewhat recklessly
Upon a feisty, summer breeze.
(Gerry Aldridge © 2016)

How does a memory become a dream?
I know it was the truth once,
But it is elusive,
Then vivid.
Vivid, elusive, elusive, vivid.
I cannot remember
If I found you,
Or lost you-
And in which order?
So where are you now?
Lost, or found?
With me?
Without me?
The answer torments me with its vividness
And scorns me with its elusiveness.
I know where you are,
But I am not in the right place
To go there,
(Gerry Aldridge 2016)

Life Is A Trip.
Call me Alice-
The one in Wonderland.
I eat a piece of this cake
And watch myself
Become too tall.
I nibble the other
And feel shame
When I get too small.
I hope one day
I find the right amount
To make me
The same size as
You.
(Gerry Aldridge 2016)

Today I tried rubbing out some thoughts I had written down and I managed not to damage the paper. But, the words were still there, etched in my mind, and erasing them only made me remember them more. Now, I am sure they are stuck there forever and the paper will be misused again.
'If I erase everything in my head, does it mean I will lose my mind?'
(Gerry Aldridge ©2016)

As a bird
I knocked at that door-
The one at the end
Of the hall.
Now all I do
Is make noise outside,
Hoping she won't
Hear me at all.
Lest I fall off my bike
And hurt myself-
I know she will come
If I call.
(Gerry Aldridge © 2016)

The Rock

Even a rock
Can have a dream.
Even a stone
Can want to be
More than it seems.

Show me love,
Let me feel
I implore you.
Screamed a rock one day.

Even the Gods
Conceded in jest
Rock had shown them
An impossibility-
He just wasn’t made that way.

Tenacious by nature
Rock would not give up,
Until,
Wearily the gods relented.

We shall create seas
To beat upon you
Relentlessly.
Until,
You find heart
And you can feel.

Centuries later
With perhaps more to come
Waves smash inexorably
Down upon rock.
Hopeful one day
It will become
What it is not.

Ironically the duration of hope
Until,
The end of time
Means rock is already more
Than a rock.

Rock has dreams
Therefore it is not
Just a rock.

Life turned me into
The rock I was not.
Love turned me into
The human I forgot.

So then it must be true,
If something can be made
It can be unmade
And remade.

The Gods impressed
By rock’s tenacity
Resolved to never give up.
Rock would always be
A sign of hope.

A young boy chances
Upon rock one day,
Picks him up
Drops him.

Inside him
Is a fossil-
Rock became something this day.
(Gerry Aldridge)

Everywhere

I see you everywhere.
Around every corner,
Up every stair
You are there.

I catch a glimpse
Of your hand, your hips, a swaying skirt,
Or a leg, a shoe that belongs to you.
Only to have it snatched from sight.

Was it her?
Was I right?

A familiar gest spotted in a milling crowd
A split second recognition of something I know
So unique it can only be you.

Is my mind going round in circles?
A scratched record of a fleeting second
Recalling a moment
And playing it over and over again in my head
For my eyes to dream of and see.

The next time we meet
I’ll ask- Was it you?
But then again, perhaps I won’t
There is no need to.

(Gerry Aldridge)

Joy
Joy can be a moment
A period of time
Or even a permanent state.
It depends on how much of your heart you follow.

I wonder if I followed all my dreams
How many hearts I would break.
And if I listened to my heart
How many dreams I would take?
(Gerry Aldridge)

The Industrial Evolution

I want the rain to wash away the grime
From this filthy living corpse.
Its dross filled pores
And a life cloaked in rust ridden slime.

Dumped grot covers me.
Exhaled from the mephitic breath
Of a thousand septic chimneys refusing to fast.
Spewing out ****
Drowning all us luckless souls in muck.

The inevitable residue of greed
Deposited by those with no belief in the End of time.

A planet of zombies
Wading through a mire of death.
Only waiting for the time
They reach the END.

(Gerry Aldridge)

What happens to thoughts
That are not said,
Whispered in secret
To the wind instead?

Seagulls catch them
In their famished beaks
And spit them out
When you dare to speak.

(Gerry Aldridge 2016)

The Joy Of Unknowing
Ah! To unknow the sun
Exploding into molten gold
As it dances upon your hair.

Unknow your perfume
That lingers forever in the air.
Unknow the orchestra
Playing relentlessly in my heart.

Unknow your smile, your laugh
And the funny things you do
All the infectious parts of you.

Ah! To unknow the touch we nearly had
And the joy we imagined
Would fill our innocent lies one day.

Unknow the dream
And change it back into a mere thought
That was never afforded an existence
Except in the rantings of a /fu:l/

Ah! Ah! To unknow the fear
Of losing you
Unknow the futility
Of wanting to hold you near.

But, how can you unknow
Something you never really knew?
Or feel decimated by the loss
Of something that was never yours?

Oh! The fact of not knowing you
Became the only part of me I remember.
I remember knowing it would never be,
I think you also knew, didn’t you?

Oh! Oh! I realise we cannot go back
And unknow what we have seen
And been and become.

We cannot chip away
At the sculpture,
Which is our life.

Cannot take out the bits
We do not want to be anymore-
It is too late.

I am with you
And you with me
In this dream
For eternity.
(Gerry Aldridge ©2016)

The Coronation.

Weightless stars drop silently like petals
From a distant place way up far beyond the night sky.
Winter flowers blossom and fly away
Landing like moths on the night, turning to petals, then rain.
To shower you in love over and over again on this majestic day.

Distant orchestras come together in a cyclonic, deafening crescendo
Commanded by maestros flailing wands from the peaks of the highest mountains.
Roll great drums! Make music for my Queen violins and cellos!
Ring through valleys and across deserts
Sweep up all the world’s musicians along the way!

Fireworks ignite the darkness with day.
Rainbows burst, more stars, come petals
Saturate you in light.
And shower you with my love on this,
The day of your Coronation.

Great Gods have come to celebrate
Smiling down they send their angels
To drench your glowing torso in rose petals
And kiss you gently as they settle,
While my tied hands yearn to give you a fond caress.

Every creature in the universe has attended the grandest ceremony in time.
Each gleefully holding a single rose petal
To weave into your hair.

My bound arms reach across continents carried like breath on the wind
To deliver you my heart.
Close your fist and make a wish
What would your soul like to find inside?

True loves lay sleeping snuggled together on the bed of the universe.
Calm is the Queen
With her single red rose.

……………………………………………………

Sun rises and all the petals have transformed into snow.
Still soft, still comforting.
But with an eerie emptiness of a dream that has yet to be told.
Joy is frozen in our hearts
For Love eternal was denied the throne this time.

Remember my sweet darling
You are now my Queen of Roses.
And in a palace somewhere,
As far away as near
I am your King.
(Gerry Aldridge)