and i only feel safe when you speak first
my welcome's only valid from the moment you say the words
and each new day needs a new renewal,
'cause i'm never sure of just how you feel
and feeling like trouble is always worse
than never gaining the courage to tell you it hurts

when you're spitting acid on my unassuming form
expecting me to know what it was i did that's wrong
i look to you, i'm helpless, so if you're leaving just go.
my head is smart, sure, my heart is stupid, though
i'll ask you to read this and pretend you never read it,
an admission of a problem - pain? i'm an addict

where you used to rest your head
it's splitting open, there's blood in my mouth
ache and ache and ache
'til the weight of existence is numbed to mere memory
i can still feel the silk soft caress of your lips against my chest
where you used to rest your head
i could take on the world with you to anchor this soaring heart

then this anchor made my heart sore
and what's the weight of the world against the weight of your absence?
did you think about the way i'd sink and did you expect me to swim?

the way that you left me, i can't say it's alright
i miss the way i didn't dare let myself take a full breath for the risk of dislodging you
and how i never thought about the way you might dislodge my ribs
where you used to rest your head
and use them for puncture wounds made to look like an accident

i am sorry
for the bruises under your eyes
i'd say i wish they were mine
but we wear the same sleepless wounds
pretending all is fine;
there's blood in your mouth,
your tongue tastes like copper
it's like kissing pennies
but far, far softer.

i am sorry
this is not the life you were promised,
baby eyes wide with wonder
as your mother's words tried for honest;
i wonder if she knew
what the world would bring unto you,
the things your father would do,
the ways his friend would ruin you
all the wasted love
and all the terrible tears
looking at the sky above,
empty bottles counting the years