I want to mark my skin
like the ever-stained hem of the sleeves
that lick my knuckles like the sea foam
of a southern beach.

I want each pore to be filled
with the same heaviness that each streak
of watered-down mascara holds
as it lingers on the ends of my worn-out shirt sleeves.

Every line must mirror the soul
trapped in the blackened rivers
that forever run parallel to each other.

The curves crafted by the needle
will sway with same helium
he fills my chest with;

the crosses and dots will pack
the kisses he planted tenderly on my lips.

My first tattoo must be more than ink,
it must be heart.

Let me go for a gleeful ride on the rainbow
Or sit on the moon to watch the stars put up a show
Put on my wings and light up the night with fireflies
Or just calming the earth as the wind in disguise

Sometimes it seems to me that all I do is dream
Try as hard as I might by any ways and means
Please don't force me to face reality
When all I want to do in life is take the time to dream

Be it floating on the clouds admiring the beautiful sight
Or dancing with my love in the snow showers
Little fairies hold buckets to collect my tears at night
While I dip into a pool filled with my favorite flowers

Because to me inside a dream is like a playful tune
That I love to sing by any means letting the dreams loose
From the middle of the imagined to the very edge of time
A steady stream I hope to dream forever in my mind

Strolling through a delicious tunnel of sweetness
Savoring the generous free flow of chocolate fall
The trees humming melodies, they leave me speechless
As curly vines of mixed berries crawl up the wall

Using life as the reflection inside of my dream scape
Moving further in the direction of the dream for the dreams sake
Where in time I hope to find what all along I have believed
That the dream I'm in at this moment is in fact my reality

Eudora*
*Mike Hauser

The past is safe where it belongs,
Gathering dust between my brain and skull.
It has no business in the present.
Recent publications are now on the shelves,
Sharing space with crisp HD shots.
Keep it from invading tomorrow,
Which belongs to the kids,
Who'll have their own burdens and joys
That need no comparisons with past lives.
Their present is in the forefront.
We'll be rightly blamed for this unpredictable world
Of warm Gulf streams, war posturing and threats.
Troubled places belong in the past, safely stored,
With warning labels,
Away from the twelve year olds.

Day 1: I want to tear my skin off. My heart is beating so fast i can barley breathe. I feel so filthy.
Day 2: I can't believe this. I don't want to be here. Why did this happen? Why did I let this happen?
Day 5: I guess I drank too much and my friends were to drunk to stop me.
Day 10: I can't face my friends, I can't live my life.
Week 3: No one knows. He hasn't said a word.
Week 6: It happened again, I was sleeping and he did it again. Why did I stay the night? Why didn't I go straight home?
Week 7: He left and kissed me goodbye. I don't know how to feel.
Week 10: My life's out of control, I can't believe whats happening.
Month 5: My boyfriend knows. But not all details. Just thinking about it, makes me want to take a shower.
Month 8: I finally came clean to my friends. They're appalled. They hate him now. I still feel filthy. I can't get his smell off my body still.
Month 11: The anniversary is soon. What am I going to do?
Year 1: I haven't spoken to him in months. I haven't thought about it in days. I still feel as if hes on top of me, why can't I wash him away?

Its an uphill battle with myself and others. Some days I can't get out of bed or even feel like breathing.
But I try not to let him get to me. Because if he sees my weakness from what hes done,
He's won.

And every time I see you now
It's a brand new chance
To fall in love
For the very first time
All over again.

I am a therapy of sorts.
I can listen to your woes
Massage your tired feet
Perhaps make you some cookies
Or other kinds of treats.
But I am not medicine.
I cannot cure all your worries,
Or stop the consistent aching in your heart.
I cannot stop you from going over the edge
Or tearing yourself apart.