.
How I wish I could lay my head
down gently on your thighs,
to make you moan and sigh aloud
and slowly close your eyes.

How I wish I could use my tongue
and give you more than rhyme,
to bring a flush up to your cheek,
of feelings beyond space and time.

How I wish that I could speak
in words of feathered certainty
and so entice your curious mind
to lay down with me for eternity.
.
.
© Pagan Paul (2017)

Maybe by the time it was right for us to meet I'd be too damaged beyond repair
Too unrecognizable for you

Maybe instead of saying "hello, ive been waiting all my life for you", you'll be saying "what the hell happened to you?"

A lot of *****, baby. I hope you'd accept me either way. I'm sorry for not taking extra care of myself.

Come sooner, please come sooner

I got so addicted to it
That i was willing to settle
for anything and anyone
Who felt as good as you
But none will do

--you ****** me up

How can something that made me feel so safe and secure be the very thing that destroyed me in the end? How is it possible that you gave me comfort but also fueled my urge to self destruct?

Your hands felt like home, and now that you're gone I guess I'm homeless. I hop from places to places (people to people), hoping that somehow one of these places would feel as cozy as you did. But all I do is compare them to you.

When will this end? I'm tired and I can no longer pretend.

Love me like I am no longer broken bones in a working body
Find that I am still whole yet divided
Forgive me for never loving myself
This dream I have still projects itself
Knitting the sky together with plea agreements
Begging for you to finally see me clearly
The rain is gone and we are still here
Broken bones heal and I am still alive
But know that I am trying
Trying to be better than me
Working at building a future out of hand grenade pins
Pulled from mistakes thrown out of my life